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Once upon a time, I was told what my story would be. I wasn't old enough to get it yet; I felt mostly curious when I looked at the family pictures. The medals. The stories. They weren't about me. They were about my father, and his father, and his grandfather and what they had given for this great country. What they had been gifted in return. I was supposed to be one of them. Eventually, when I was old enough and knew enough, I would understand. Understand why it was all necessary. Obedience. Sacrifice. Blood.

I didn't get it then. I don't get it now.

Or maybe I do. It's all about the power to make someone listen to you. To give them no choice, by force if necessary. But even if you can force someone to listen to you, you can't force them to understand. Or agree. My father never got that part, and it looks like the Void is just as in love with the sound of their own voice. Lofty ideals. Sweet words. For your own good. And if you don't understand, well, then there's only one thing left.

Pain.

I have no idea how Sidestep does it. I can feel their shoulder shivering under my arm, but no hint of the weakness that still plagues me. Or maybe it's not weakness but relief. I could have killed them. I could have paralyzed myself again, and I can't stop the laugh, painful though it is.

"Shut up," Sidestep mumbles, and they would have elbowed me if my ribs were whole. "People at the door ahead."

"Good," I smile through bloodied teeth. Legs work somewhat, even though my spine feels rusty, and there might be swellings in dangerous places. "I've still got some juice left."

"Are you mad?" Without the mask, I can see the eyes go wide. Still bloodshot. Still green. I don't flinch because I really don't want to think about what that means.

"As in angry, yes. You didn't have to listen to them talk about you being the chosen one for a few hours of light torture before you woke up."

"You can hardly walk." As if to prove it, they shrug off my arm, and I have to stand on my own.

"I can." I stretch to my full height, ignoring the superficial pains as I try to figure out how bad the deeper ones are. The spine is bad, it feels like gravel, but it's still functional. Don't know how hard I can push it, but we need to get out of here. They can always fix me later. They've invested too much by now to throw me on the scrap heap. Hopefully.

"Good." Sidestep looks anything but happy about it, but the voice is softer. "I was tired of dragging your ass around."

"You're lucky my legs have recovered faster than my sense of humor." I wink, and to my relief Sidestep looks away with a frustrated sigh. Still acting the same, despite the eyes. Good.

"Stay behind me," Sidestep cracks their knuckles, tilting their head as if they were listening for something. Probably is. Not for the first time, I wonder what it would be like to be a telepath.

"As long as you're sure of the way, this is a goddamn labyrinth."

"I am. I..." A pause, scanning the corridor. "It makes sense to my eyes."

"Not something that makes me feel better about this. Are you sure you're alright?"

"No." A small admission. "That's why we need to get out of here. Before Void returns."

"What did you do to them?" I'm almost afraid to ask the question because I didn't see much through the flare of electricity, but what I saw didn't make sense.

"Pushed her away."

"Where?" 

"I don't know." Sidestep's hand twitches. "I don't know how their travel shit works."

"Oh," I feel a stab of relief. "You just tricked them. Like how you made Groundhog jump off the roof instead of landing on me?" Just another misdirection, nothing to do with poison-green eyes.

"No." They look away. "But close enough. Now come on, I'll try to make them look away for as long as possible."

"I'll be right behind you." I keep my mouth shut as we walk. No need to make this harder for either of us. Sidestep has been growing weirder since the Nanosurge, but manipulating others to this extent is new. I hope. Or maybe that is what always happens in a fight.

A discussion for later.

As we walk, I try to get a feel for how much power I have left, but the gauge on my wrist is broken, and all the sub-dermal bars are black. It can't be much, but I'm still moving. Which is good. Still shivering, which is bad. Probably would have gone into shock already if we weren't in danger. Adrenaline does wonders, even if the comedown is less fun. Don't exactly want to process what the Void...

"Keep quiet," Sidestep hisses as we round a corner and walk towards the guarded door. Nothing to hide behind. No disguises. And yet the two guards keep chatting, oblivious to our approach. 

I can't see Sidestep's face, but I can't imagine this is easy. Still, it gives us enough time to get close. Gives me enough time.

Fuck, it hurts to move.

I go right, Sidestep goes left, two punches and my knuckles scream, so I grab the guard's face and zap them. The scream is not as loud as the crackle of electricity, but the smell of burned meat makes me want to throw up. He drops to the floor, and I feel myself sinking to my knees to join him. Keep it in. Keep it in. There's nothing but bile there anyway, get a grip, getting out of here alive is the priority here. Not my feelings.

A huge crack as Sidestep smashes their guard face-first into the wall brings me back to the present, and I struggle to my feet before Sidestep can offer a hand. Clinging to my dignity, as it is.

"Weapons?" Sidestep looks at me, and I look down because those eyes are still nightmare fuel. 

"None. Probably won't fit into their boosts first agenda. I got the impression this was their holy ground or something."

"Maybe." Sidestep looks at the door. There's no keyhole there, just several oddly shaped geometric buttons. "Would make sense. This place is big. And wrong." Pressing without hesitation, eyes unfocused. A chain, several in sequence. Did they read the code from the guard's mind? Hopefully, the alternative is worse. 

"What do you mean wrong?" I pull a jacket off one of the guards. It's nondescript green, but I've started shivering. "It's just corridors."

"Yeah. Just." The door slides open, and there's a shaft behind it with a small metal ladder leading up.

"No bunks. No guardrooms. No kitchens. Just concrete and lights."

"And cells," I point out, "and torture chambers." But they've got a point. Nothing here has the feel of a base. Or even a prison.

"It's a test." Sidestep grabs the ladder, pulling themselves up. It holds. "I think."

"What do you mean a test?" I step after, looking up. It's a cold shaft, a faint wind through grates near the bottom, and I can't see the end of it. A long way to climb. I wish there was somewhere to hide the bodies, but there's nothing but concrete.

"It feels like one." A quiet mutter I have to strain to hear. "I'm used to them." Sidestep starts to climb, angry, frustrated moves.

"You mean they let us escape?" I follow as fast as I can, forcing my fingers to cooperate.

"No." A pause so I can catch up. "They didn't plan for this. For me."

"What do you mean?" I pat Sidestep's bare foot, so they continue.

"They wanted you."

"I mean, yeah," I do my best to lean into the smug because I'm still unnerved. "Everybody does."

"Idiot." A pause, both in words and in climbing. I hook my arm through a rung to rest my fingers. "I was supposed to be your sacrifice. Whatever they did to me would help what they would do to you."

"Guess they weren't prepared for how contrary you can be." I rest my forehead against the heel of their foot, and they allow that for a few seconds before they continue climbing.

"They weren't prepared for me, period." There it is again, that confidence that makes me ask questions that won't be answered. "I was supposed to die or turn."

"And you decided not to?"

"Yes." There is a sound of fans in the distance. Is this what this is? An air shaft?

"Huh." What can I say to that? Nothing that won't be mocked. "Glad you didn't decide to play along. They were unhinged."

"What did they... tell you?" The 'do to you' remains unsaid.

"That the Void had seen what I could be. My... future, I suppose." I know I'm wheezing, and my legs are weakening, so I must rely on my arms to pull me up. "Gave me a bunch of bullshit about being the chosen one."

"Surprised you didn't jump on that." A dry chuckle as welcome as the sight of what looks like a lid up ahead. "Being worshiped sounds right up your alley."

"You'd think." I stifle a groan as I force my legs to cooperate. "But I'm allergic to others picking my outfits." A joke is better than getting into the truth. Always.

"And the Void would always be on top."

"Don't even joke about that." I groan and cling to the ladder as Sidestep starts working on the lock above. "I have never felt that undressed." Not while being helpless to do anything about it.

"Sorry." An uncharacteristic apology. "I know what that feels like."

"Any luck with the lock?" I ask instead of looking for the answers I want.

"Maybe..." uncertain. "I'm losing whatever shit she put into me. I can't see the angles the same way. I think..." a click, and the hatch slides open to sunshine.

"Quickly," I urge, and Sidestep obeys, climbing out of the shaft before offering me a hand up.

"You're heavy," they grumble as they pull, the eyes still faintly green though they have lost the shine. 

"Legs are giving out," I admit. "Walking will be easier." But for how long? I refuse to think that the lack of power might not be the issue here.

"Walking to where?" Sidestep closes the hatch, and only then do I notice the utter desolation of the place. No house. No walls. No roads. Just the open sky, the setting sun painting the horizon crimson. The hatch is low to the ground; with an hour or two of wind, it will be covered by dust and sand once more, only the small air intakes sticking up from the ground. 

"We can get a hint of where we are once the sun sets," I mutter, trying not to think about whether we are still in California. "Meanwhile, let's walk west before my legs give out."

"Alright." Sidestep starts walking, and I can't help but wince, looking at their bare feet. Not that I am in much better shape, but it's always easier handling my own pains than those of others. At least there's no sign of pursuit. For now.

We walk. And then we walk, and I shuffle. I can feel my back ache, a low, throbbing pain feels almost benign rather than the sharp stabs of a break. I know swelling can be just as dangerous, constricting nerves and blood. My saving grace is that my nerves are metal threads, so hopefully, this is just a lack of power rather than a full neural breakdown. I've heard stories about mod-rejections due to infection and stress. Not pretty.

"How come nobody is following?" I finally ask, after having expected interception for the last hour. The sun is nearly gone, but there's no sound of engines. No glint of light but the strengthening stars above. "They can't just let us leave like this?"

"They won't. But..." Sidestep pauses so I can catch up, lending me a shoulder to lean on. "This isn't like their compound. I don't think it's made for living here. Void brings the people. Void takes them back."

"Teleportation?"

"No. More like..." I can feel their breath. Slow. Conserving energy. "Walking sideways. I don't know how to describe it. For a moment, I saw it. After they fed me the blood. The world is..." another pause as we limp on. "It's like there's more to it than I see now. Paths to take. Places to go. Shortcuts. I pushed Void down one of them. And that place we escaped from..." a shiver. Not from the growing cold. "It's a labyrinth. Not just in the way we see it. I think it's a test for their followers. If they can find their way to the center."

"Not outside?"

"No, we went the other way. I think that shaft was for ventilation." Sidestep stops, and I do too. The moon is far from full, but there's enough light to see a darker shade ahead. A house.

"You think we dare?" I ask though I know the answer.

"I think we have to. Wait here." Sidestep shrugs away from me and disappears in the dark like another shadow.

I remain on my feet for a few seconds before sinking to my knees. To preserve energy. In the distance, I hear the howl of a coyote. No sound of footsteps. No sound of Sidestep. I remain immobile and quiet and try not to think too deeply about things. Not yet. We must get out of here alive first, then I can get a drink. Throat dry enough to hurt. Too much screaming. Not good for hydration. 

Neither is a chuckle, but I can't help myself. Staying sane is priority one. 

It takes too long for Sidestep to return, and I have run through too many bad scenarios in my head. What does it say about my imagination that the best ones were coyotes and pumas? But I don't voice my concerns. "Took you long enough," I hiss instead.

"I needed to check things out." Sidestep helps me up, as always so much stronger than they look. "It's a deserted town. Been here since the Big One, I bet. I've found a place."

"Good," I lean heavily, my legs are uncooperative. "Any cars? I need a jumpstart." A battery might work, there won't be any electricity in a place like this.

"Better than that, come on." There's a tension to the words I can feel but not decipher. Something happened.

"Lead the way," I sigh, because even if I can smell a rat, this is not the place to dissect it. 

"Just keep quiet until we're inside. There's nobody here, but I can't account for fliers."

"They could be on our side too," I protest, hoping that Sentinel is searching by now. They must have wrapped up things around the compound once the Void left.

"Not willing to take the chance. Now shut up."

Sidestep half leads, half carries me past deserted houses with collapsed roofs, over a road of cracked asphalt covered in dust and ashes, behind what looks like an old garage. With one hand, they pull open a storm cellar and help me downstairs.

"How did you..." I start, but am shushed as we stumble down the stairs. The darkness is heavy, but Sidestep dumps me on the concrete floor and closes the doors to make it complete. I can hear them shuffle around, and then the lights turn on, blinding me.

"How?" It's just a small kerosene lamp, but it feels like a star in the darkness.

"Think it must be a smuggler's safehouse." Sidestep drags me over to a mattress on the floor with a light coating of dust that makes me sneeze as I roll on top of it. "Must be close to the Mexican border."

"Lucky find," I mumble, looking up at their face. Eyes are more or less back to normal, but there are streaks on their cheeks. Tears? It's hard to imagine it could be anything else.

"Yeah." An evasive shrug. "There's a battery back here, but I don't want to start the full lights. I figured we need it for you."

"Not sure what ports are workable, though." I groan and roll over on my stomach. "I suppose we could jury rig something."

"We have to. There's no radio here."

"Any water?"

"Yeah. Tastes like plastic." A bottle is placed in front of me, the plastic covered in dust. It doesn't taste good, but it's better than nothing.

"How long do you think we have?" I shift my shoulders so Sidestep can pull my jacket off. 

"I don't know." I don't have to hear the sigh to feel it. "I don't know how easily Void can follow us here. If she can step close, or if she has to return to that place and start from there."

"Your guess is still better than mine." I don't wince as I feel cloth and water start to clean the skin around my ports. Burns. I overloaded a lot of things back there. "Hours?"

"Hopefully. Your quickload port is toast. What the hell were you thinking?" The wet rag hits the back of my head with an annoyed slap.

"I was thinking that I didn't want you to die." I don't move, feeling the water drip down my cheeks. "You were screaming. I thought they were going to kill you, so I..."

"So you took that risk instead." Dry words. Not exactly reproachful

"Yes."

"You could have killed yourself as well." 

"I mean, that's one way of sticking it to the Void." I wipe my face with the cloth before I look over, watching Sidestep pull the battery closer. Linked car batteries, two of them. Probably easily chargeable by a generator somewhere, but that would mean noise we can't afford. 

"Don't even joke about that." A muttered swear. "There's no useful cord; we have to go through the converter."

"And hope we've got a few hours." I rest my forehead on my arms, letting Sidestep set it up. Trust. Even in this hellhole, that feels nice.

"You won't get enough power to zap someone with these, though."

"I don't need power to zap. I need it to move." If I can move, I can fight. Electricity powers or not. But could I fight the Void?

"Ready?"

"Do it." I tense as Sidestep connects the battery, relieved that there's no feedback, just a feeling of gentle heat as the charging commences. 

"You okay?"

"It works fine. Now get some rest." I let my head drift back down.

"You too."

The silence lasts for half an hour or so, but neither of us falls asleep. Sidestep keeps fidgeting. Having cleaned the wounds on their feet, it looks like they'd rather be anywhere but here. 

"Thank you," I whisper to defuse the tension.

"You saved me first." A reluctant mutter. "I messed up. I didn't know Void could blindside me like that."

"Sidestep sidestepped."

"Shut up."

"And I messed up as well. I didn't know Ashfall would bail. We should have gone in together."

"Because we never mess up then." A stifled chuckle. "At least your guts are on the inside this time."

"So far." I turn my head but can only see their outline next to me. Not the face. "Void wanted me to join them."

"Not fancying a trip on the villain side?" The words are heavy and filled with meaning. Do they know I know who their family is? Do they know I've seen Hollow Ground's face and added up the dots? What it is that Sidestep is running from? Sometimes it feels like they suspect, two parts of a conversation with a bottomless pit in the center. Nobody dares to take the leap.

"I don't know," I tease, opting for humor. "Are you fancying a trip on the hero side?" 

"I won't join." Expected words. Exasperated ones. "Vigilante is good enough for me."

"For me too." When did my voice go this soft? "You know you don't have to prove anything to me."

"Sap." A sigh. "You shouldn't be this soft in public. The Void knew. That's why I was hooked up to you."

"Because they knew I wouldn't hurt you?" I expect an insult in response; instead, I get silence and a sigh.

"No. Because they hoped you would kill me." Sidestep shifts, and I can feel them looking at me. "Because they hoped that would break something inside you. Make you cross a line. Hate yourself enough to turn."

"Not the best of plans," I mumble. "That would only make me hate them more."

"That's not it." Sidestep finally lies down, close enough to almost feel their breath on my shoulder. "They wanted you to hurt. Physically. Mentally. They wanted you broken."

"I've been broken." I don't move.

"You haven't." They finally settle in next to me. "You've been hurt. It's not the same thing."

"What's the difference?" I whisper back.

"When you're broken, you're willing to do anything to stop the pain." There's an echo there, that I don't want to touch. So instead I deflect.

"I did sell my body to the military," I joke. At least I pretend it's a joke. It's closer to the truth than I'd like. Was that really all it took for me to cave? A chance to walk again? And if my father had rubbed it in, would I have said no to spite him? Or suck it up? I wish I knew. "Not that it matters. Not in the end."

"It sucks, though." Sidestep rolls over enough so we can talk face-to-face. Rare enough to make me wonder. "Being the tool."

"What do you mean?"

"You were the one Void wanted. I was just..." an expression of disgust is quickly pushed back. "Incidental. I was there because you cared. Nothing else."

"I get the feeling you've gone through that before." My question is soft, not probing. Sidestep speaks about their past rarely enough that I don't want to spook them. It's easy enough to imagine. The younger sibling of the Kingpin of Los Diablos. Worth nothing but the blood running in their veins. Family can be a curse as well as a blessing.

"It's not something I like to talk about," Sidestep admits. "But yeah."

"Does..." I nearly break off. "Does it bother you? When the papers call you my 'sidekick'?"

"I don't read the papers." Not an answer, instead they sit up and drape the jacket over my shoulders once more. "You get some sleep. I'll keep watch."

"Wake me after an hour, and I'll do the same for you." I rest my head back on the mattress. The conversation is over. I know them well enough to understand that.

"I will," they lie, scooting back to lean against the wall. "Now shut up and go to sleep. We need to move before daybreak."

Comments

Anonymous

I love seeing into Ortega's head (especially since we can't do it as Sidestep hahaha) and all the thoughts about HG-family Sidestep! BTW would it be possible to add all of the void story chapters under the tag? I think some of them are missing and I'd love to reread all of it in order!

squirrelybird

Chargestep(platonic or otherwise) makes me literally lose my mind THEY 😭

Anonymous

Ortega resting his forehead on their heel for a few seconds of relief is killing me, why is that somehow so goddamn romantic?!?! Old Victorian people were right, exposed ankles ARE sexy