Snugglemagne's Reign- Part 2 (Patreon)

Hello again, raffish rogues! The public spoke for a grand feast, and a grand feast Snugglemagne shall get! However, our villain of the hour makes himself known- how will Snugglemagne react to protect his kingdom? If you need a refresher, check out the first part here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/snugglemagnes-1-40364294

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“I, King Snugglemagne XXV, decree that a grand feast shall be held, so the people may bask in my magnificence!” the lion declared grandly. He gestured dramatically to the chamberlain. “Make it known, Quinton! The feast shall be as glorious an affair as Pure Heart Valley has ever seen! And of course, Duke Drufus will be in charge of planning the event.”  “What?” The fox glanced with shifty eyes across the table. “Ah, yes, yes! I’ll be only too happy, Your Majesty.”

“Naturally, catering will come from the palace kitchens- do let the staff know that I expect the grandest meal seen in our Valley’s history!” Snugglemagne announced, flipping back his cape. “I expect all my favorites, naturally- filet mignon, duck a l’orange, lobster, jumbo shrimp, fruit tarts, chocolate cakes, Farmer Bun’s cobbler, any pie you can get your hands on…” the King rattled off a list of decadent foodstuffs for the next hour or so, resulting in a menu roughly the size of a short novel. 

Later, Pure Heart Valley was abuzz with the news of a royal feast. The Sweetie Pies decorated the main square with banners, garlands, and portraits of the King- all of which were either destroyed, vandalized, or defaced by the most obnoxious of Snugglemagne’s subjects, Pinky, only to be replaced every day in the lead-up to the feast. Finally, after four days of preparation, it was Snugglemagne’s first big chance to shine.

With the fanfare of trumpets, played by the only four Sweetie Pies that knew how to play them, Snugglemagne presented himself at the gates of the palace leading down to the main square. The public place was crowded with what seemed like the entire Valley, all of them circling several tables that were groaning under the weight of a truly decadent feast, all of Snugglemagne’s favorites arranged in eye-catching, mouth-watering displays. 

“Yes, welcome, lowly peasants, welcome to my royal banquet! I’m ever so pleased you all could make it,” Snugglemagne announced, chuckling airily. As he exchanged pleasantries with his subjects- without touching any of them, naturally- the king missed Duke Drufus going about the crowd, the fox collecting all manner of valuables from those assembled and giving them slips of paper in return.

“Well, now that we’re all gathered for this fabulous event, I officially declare this feast open to all, enjoy, my beloved peons!” Snugglemagne said theatrically. There was a long, awkward pause as the lion finally looked out to the crowd- no one had moved from where they stood, instead leaning forward, expectantly.

“Ah- ahem, Duke, whatever are they waiting for? Are they simple? I just told them they could start eating!” Snugglemagne hissed, grabbing Drufus by the collar as he slipped by with a bag filled with smartphones, toasters, and wallets.

“Gah! Your Majesty! Er… don’t you recall? They’ve paid to come to your feast,” the fox said. “They want to watch you eat.”

“They want to… watch? But why ever would they want that? Their little lives can’t be that dull!” Snugglemagne replied as he let the fox go.

“Well… to see a regal king with such a famously large appetite, it’s not an ordinary sight! Besides, your people adore you- they would watch you sleep, if they could,” Drufus said quickly.

“...Yes, well, as delightfully disturbing a thought as that is, I don’t know if I can eat all of this!” the lion hissed.

“What’s the hold up?!” Pinky yelled out from the crowd. “I paid to see the King make a pig of himself already!” Murmurs of agreement soon followed. 

Snugglemagne blinked. “They’re serious, aren’t they?” Glancing at the huge amount of food before him with some apprehension, the king cleared his throat. “As any good king, I am obligated to please my people! Let me eat cake!” he stated, slicing himself a large slab of chocolate cake, and biting into it daintily.

“Boo!” Pinky shouted. “That’s no way to eat cake!”

The lion huffed indignantly. “Listen, you wretched little-”

“Eat! More cake! Then the pies, next!” Pinky demanded.

“Yeah! Then the lobster!” another Sweetie Pie called out.

“Oh! The steak, next!”

Snugglemagne’s eyes went slightly wide as he maintained a plastered-on smile. The Sweetie Pies kept demanding he gorge himself, and eventually his need to please the people won out. The lion grabbed another slice of cake, and then opening his jaw wide, swallowed it whole, followed by another. In mere moments, the cake had been demolished, with Snugglemagne dabbing at his lips for frosting.

“Hah! Yes! Yes! Gluttony!” Pinky cackled. “More, more!”

Snugglemagne slowly began to ease into a performance. When he came to a platter of gourmet shrimp, he slammed his fist on the table, sending the shrimp flying as he caught every piece in his mouth, and the Sweetie Pies cheered. He balanced a pie on his claw, spun it, and devoured it in a series of successive bites, and the crowd loved it. 

The lion bowed, not noticing how his middle began to round out, all the food he was theatrically gorging on beginning to impact his frame. He had moved on to his personal favorites- a pile of cherry tarts, slathered with frosting. Pirouetting on his sprightly legs, he snatched up a tart, striking a regal pose as he bit into it. But as soon as he gulped down the tart, he stumbled, feeling off-balance. Glancing down, Snugglemagne gasped softly. “Oh my!” He prodded his middle, now swollen up to a large, fluffy butterball of a belly. 

“This… may have gotten slightly out of hand,” the king muttered, taking a handful of his own fat and wincing as he saw it wobble in his grasp.

The Sweetie Pies, however, were applauding. “A great display of appetite!” “The king sure knows how to eat!”

“Do we need to pay for another ticket to see you eat the next course, Your Kingliness?” a pink llama cried out, waving his ticket in the air.

“I- What? Tickets? This was to be a free event!” the king declared. The crowd began to murmur, confused. 

“But Duke Drufus said you were charging money for charity!” a blue dog replied.

“Wait, now that I think about it, didn’t Duke Drufus look a lot like Rufus, that conman Sheriff Mao Mao caught?” another shouted.

“Wait, what?” Pinky shrieked. “The king got fooled by Rufus! And we lost our stuff because of it!”

“What? But I thought that toaster was going to needy children!”

“I thought my wallet was going to families of Sky Pirate Victims!”

Snugglemagne gulped as the crowd’s mood soured. “Now, now! Good, lowly peasants, be calm! I am your King, and this… uh…” he bit his lip, thinking desperately as he tried sucking in his round gut. “This was but the first part of my grand master plan to capture the conniving fox! For I will…”