Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (Part 11) (Patreon)

Ooooo, that bitch. Violet noticed that Little Spring wasn’t going to mess up, so she decided to force the issue. Knowing her, even though this looked bad she likely had an excuse prepared, one that would make herself look good.

At this point, whether the kid could save this batch, or had to waste it, this would show how effectively he could overcome errors. Considering how he often did everything perfectly within his first few tries, he hadn’t had many opportunities to practice fixing mistakes like this.

I glared at Violet.

She smirked back at me as if she’d already won.

To his credit, Little Spring didn’t panic. Instead, he lowered the temperature, calmly grabbed the Five Ices Yin Root to counteract the extreme yang in the Crimson Peach Flower, and tossed it in.

The cauldron shook harder, nearly toppling over on its pedestal. The kid put together a series of hand seals that perfectly hid some of the newer ones I’d taught him. With that, the near explosion came to a halt, and I almost wanted to applaud, except that I knew that something that would have been a perfect pot was definitely spoiled.

He used a hand seal to slowly raise the fire and agitate the concoction.

After adding the last few ingredients, the kid hooked his thumbs together to form the hand seal that shaped the pills. Then he pointed two fingers at the cauldron, then back at himself, replicating the gesture I had demonstrated earlier, forcing the pills out and over to him. With a flourish, he caught them in a jade bowl.

While I hadn’t had much experience with the Seven Circles Breath Expanding Dan, I had created it a couple of times before. The pinnacle version was supposed to be a clear, dark sapphire. This batch was nearly all bright cerulean with only two pills being a medium blue. That meant that almost all of them were low-quality.

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Little Spring stared at the bowl like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Violet’s pill beast shifted on her shoulders, and she stroked its head to get it to stay still. She glanced down at him with a smirk, then clasped her hands behind her back. “Do you understand what you’re lacking?”

Did she seriously just say something a con artist protagonist posing as an old master would? And to the goddamn main character of this fucking universe?

Little Spring looked like he wanted to yell at her, but instead, he very calmly said, “Are you saying that I don’t know how to manage mistakes? That if something happens I’ll have to scramble to fix things but because I haven’t practiced overcoming mistakes I’ll fail?”

That sly bitch must have realized something I already knew: that because Little Spring almost always did everything perfectly, he wouldn’t have enough experience fixing mistakes. At least not before they blew up in his face. Because of this, I had shown him several techniques to save batches and protect cauldrons. Those techniques were why my beautiful cauldron didn’t explode. But since the kid absorbed knowledge better than a jade slip, I focused more on teaching him the next pill or technique.

Violet might be the most selfish, self-centered malicious narcissist I knew, but I couldn’t underestimate her. Even when I thought I knew what she was doing, I would find that she’d actually done something else entirely. The number of times she had completely overturned my thought process was more than I could count. It was the reason she’d always beaten me in my past life. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

But in this one, even if I had to receive 800 cuts, I would make her ass take 1000.

***

While I watched Little Spring, I used my split mind technique to watch Bright Flame concoct the Calming Heart Yin Yang Pill. Mostly to make sure he wasn’t purposefully fucking up… because I trusted Violet as far as a mortal child could throw her.

He’d done very well so far, and it was at a point in his process where he’d need the solution to the Five Leaves Break Down. But he hesitated.

Shit. If he didn’t act soon, his concoction would really fail. I couldn’t allow his want to keep his method a secret, and ruin his batch of pills.

“Just use it,” I said. “The solution will be out soon, anyway. It’s only right that the person who invented it is the first one to demonstrate it publicly… Whether the cultivators here can figure it out later depends on their comprehension and luck.”

Bright Flame grinned, then moved his hands into a series of simple back-and-forth gestures before adding each of the leaves as a cultivator normally would.

Perfectly done. No issues.

I smiled. “As the inventor of this technique, take pride in it. Never let anyone tell you that someone else invented it.”

The child winced but nodded.

Fine, I’d stop before I took things too far.

Then, when he finished adding the last grass and formed the pills, I taught him and all the cultivators in the area exactly how to use the hand seal to call the pill out and into a jade bowl. No longer would alchemists have to burn their hands by slapping the side of a hot cauldron.

Bright Flame’s pill flew to him and he caught it in a white jade bowl. He stared down at its beautiful Yellow Chartreuse color.

He looked up at me with excitement glittering in his upturned eyes. “I did it!”

I nodded sagely. “Of course you did. Who do you think was teaching you?”

With an odd smile on his face, he bowed to me. “Thank you, Senior Lin.”

Watching a brilliant mind learn and grow was a wonderful experience. And it was one of the reasons I never opposed the idea of teaching others, even if I refused to take a disciple.

***

Lina stepped forward. “Now that both guest lecturers have finished their lessons, our judges will decide who they’d choose to lecture for both slots.”

Violet and I both took our places in front of the crowd. She stood there haughtily as if she’d already won. And I just smiled. Because I had this in the fuckin’ bag as long as Violet hadn’t managed to bribe Lina in some way.

“I’ll begin!” Noxious Fangstrike said and approached us with his hands behind his back. “First, I’d like to thank both lecturers. Each of you has taught your students with a thoughtfulness that is beyond your actual ages. You’ve allowed us all to gain insight into your thought processes as well.”

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Ah, so, not only was this guy shameless, he also liked to hear himself speak.

“Alchemist Lin here showed us many fascinating things. Firstly, she introduced a unique method of interpreting recipes, a method she referred to as ‘logical.’ However, the logic she applies might not align with others’ perspectives. I’d like to point out that there was a reason her master couldn’t find a disciple until after he’d ascended. But I won’t hold this against her too much, since she did tailor her lesson to young Bright Flame.”

Excuse me? I knew this guy would come up with excuses to bring me down, but this was getting ridiculous. The crowd wasn’t buying this, were they?

When I glanced around, I found that, yes, there were a few who wore expressions like they were buying the oil this snake was selling. Fuck, I forgot how even intelligent people could sometimes be stupid or superstitious.

“However, I was disturbed by how she also taught us all her method for taking pills out of cauldrons. She didn’t even ask us to pay her for the knowledge. While I appreciate it, I think we all know that giving us that for free could be considered a bribe.”

Fuck, this guy could spin a story faster than a corrupt entertainment news station.

The worst part about this was, if I spoke up for myself here, it wouldn’t help me at all. I’d be seen as a petulant child for interrupting my elder. Then no one would listen to me.

I had the feeling that the little protagonist would be able to get away with talking back if he were up here instead.

For now, it was better to let the sticky asshole talk. And I put his name on my Fairy Lin’s People to Kill (When You Can) list. This was his third time he fucked with me, and I would make sure it would be his last.

“However, the thing I’m most unimpressed with was how she manipulated her student to demonstrate his solution to the Five Leaves Break Down.”

Blazing Flame stepped forward. “I had already decided to show it when I chose the Calming Heart Yin Yang Pill. I was only hesitating because I was nervous. Fellow Alchemist Lin gave me the confidence to move forward with my plan.”

Noxious Fangstrike smirked at the child. “Then I won’t hold that against her either. But don’t you think it should have been your elders who introduced it to everyone for the first time?”

His face turned bright red.

I used the telepathic technique to say, ::You shouldn’t listen to him. As the inventor, you had the right to show it off when you wanted. He’s only saying these things to bring me down and anyone who sides with me.::

He looked relieved. ::Thank you, Senior Lin! I’ll try not to take it personally.::

I paused. ::I don’t know what she gave you to let her take credit for your work but, whatever it is, I hope it’s worth it to you.::

::If there was something like that, then it certainly would have been.::

Well, I’d let this child keep his secrets. I just hope he was bleeding that bitch dry in exchange for stealing partial credit.

“So,” Noxious continued, “I have to consider — are the things she did to help Bright Flame even worthwhile?”

This asshole was basically claiming that the three main lessons I taught the child were bullshit. If that was the case then, of course, it would seem like I didn’t do much.

“Meanwhile,” the unorthodox cultivator gestured to my rival, “Fellow Alchemist Violet Pill here took a student who seemed too perfect for reality, and showed him that never making mistakes also had its consequences. It’s a lesson that he’ll be able to use throughout his long life.”

Little Spring scowled. “My sister has gone over how to mitigate errors.”

He shook his head as if saying that the kid didn’t know what he was talking about.

“I believe Fellow Alchemist Violet Pill deserves both lecture spots for thinking so far into the future.”

Lina nodded. “One judge says Violet Pill Fairy is the winner. Who would like to go next?”

White Lily stepped forward. She glared at Noxious Fangstrike. “Believing that Violet’s lesson is better than Lin’s is nonsense.”

He looked at her, amused. “Is it though? There seem to be several in the crowd who believe otherwise.”

Those people and there were more of them than I thought, nodded.

That didn’t stop White Lily from glaring at them until they turned their heads.

“Alchemist Lin’s logic comes from the creator of Logical Alchemy, Immortal Zhenren Sword Within the Light of Virtue, her master. Does anyone here claim to have better logic than Immortal Zhenren?”

Well, I might, but I did consider him my alchemy master, so I’d show him some face by not speaking up.

Noxious shrugged. “While he was famous, he was never able to take a disciple until now. How useful could that logic be when it’s impossible to teach it to others?”

“It helped Ruthless Divine Medicine, my colleague, increase his realm from Golden Core to Nascent Soul.”

“It may have worked for him, but who’s to say it would work for anyone else?”

Look at him move those goalposts. At this rate, he’d strain a verbal muscle.

“And all Violet did was teach Little Spring something he was already aware of. I would not consider that an excellent lesson at all.” She crossed her arms under her chest. “At this point, I believe that Fellow Alchemist Lin deserves both lecture spots.”

“Oh my,” Lina said. “That makes one for Alchemist Lin and one for Alchemist Violet Pill.”

“I’ll go next!” Blazing Lion said. Her fluffy yellow ears twitched, but she stared at me like she was on a warpath and I was an enemy general.

Of course, I doubted this obvious side character could spout anything unexpected.

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Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for!

My regularly scheduled three extra hours of editing time didn't happen on Wednesday or today so I couldn't finish editing my WIAFTTTTA Patreon chapter early like I’ve been trying to do... (I also wasn’t able to edit the two Tanking Hits chapters that I've written. But those will be out tomorrow after I’ve edited them)

I was trying to figure out a way to get those hours back so I took my Little Dragon to an indoor playground to see if I could let him play and edit while I was there. Turns out, that I had to watch him literally every minute so, that was not going to give me the time I needed to edit.. but my boy liked it so much that he would not leave. Ended up running from me and entering the 4 and under area after they had lysoled the place (because he is too fuckin smart for his own good and he figured out the child gate lock there real fuckin' fast). Anyway, I had to go in there and drag his ass out and ended up getting a little bleach on my band-new dress (and he is fine in case you're wondering). I recently bought some dark green clothing dye so I decided to see if I could spot-dye the bleached area. It worked out okay, I think? Better than having a random orange spot on my dress, anyway.

But, because of all this, I learned that to get dye out of your hands, you need to use toothpaste and scrub it with a towel. I will use this in a story someday because nothing bad ever happens to a writer. We just collect material.

I will try to get the chapter out early next week. As long as I have my extra three hours of editing time on Wednesday I should be able to do it. This week was just rough because I lost so much time I'd normally have to myself and that drained me a lot more than I thought it would...