Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (Part 10) (Patreon)

While Bright Flame took out his supplies, Violet was in the middle of realizing what I’d known for years... that she’d picked a frustratingly perfect student.

“You don’t have any problems? There has to be something you’re unsure of.”

Little Spring scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I’ve already mastered all the pills I’ve learned at my level.”

“But that doesn’t mean you’ve made every pill a foundation establishment cultivator can make, right?”

He paused for a second as if thinking about it. “Well, for the past year, Sister Lin taught me one or two new prescriptions each week. And all the ones we had ingredients for, I’ve made at pinnacle quality.”

Violet’s eyebrows furrowed, and a vein bulged on her forehead. “That learning speed is impossible.”

Yeah, I know.

“Your knowledge about each prescription can’t be that profound.”

You’d think that.

“You must have made mistakes while learning. Perhaps your understanding is too shallow?”

That would make the brat human instead of a goddamn protagonist.

He scowled. “You can test me. I told you that Sister Lin is the best teacher.”

Violet shot me a glare and I just shrugged. It wasn’t my fault that the brat’s comprehension was off the charts. Blame the original author. This kid and his goddamn protagonist halo made me question my existence as his alchemy teacher multiple times.

I wished Violet the same experience.

“This isn’t about Alchemist Lin’s teaching ability. There is no way you’re such an exceptional student.”

He rolled his eyes. “Believe what you want.”

“Then I have no choice. I’ll teach you a pill you’ve never concocted before.”

He nodded eagerly.

She went over different prescriptions, but Little Spring had either created them or a version of it that was superior.

If Violet had been in a Manhua — likely one that had been pirated multiple times — she would have had three whole panels dedicated to showing her slowly losing her patience.

[Image Link]

Watching this was great!

“Seven Circles Breath Expanding Dan!” Violet spat out.

“What’s that?”

For a single moment, she looked like she was about to cry in relief, then she straightened. She cleared her throat as if she hadn’t just been frustrated to insanity.

Huh, maybe I was rubbing off on the kid.

“The Seven Circles Breath Expanding Dan is an excellent sky rank pill that, when taken, will increase your lung capacity and the time you can use the turtle breathing technique.”

“How is it excellent if I’ve never heard of it?”

This brat had obviously learned some things from Clear Eyes Mad Tongue. Normally I would question if they were the right things, but anything that annoyed Violet, I approved!

Her lips twitched as she struggled to keep her smile. “It’s hard to come across because its ingredients are rare while its effect is minor. This makes it not worth concocting to most alchemists.” She fanned herself arrogantly then sent me a smug look. “Most people aren’t as wealthy as I am. Only I can afford to teach you how to make such a rare and expensive low-rank pill.”

Bitch! Did she just call my ass poor?

Fuck! She wasn’t exactly wrong.

Unlike her, I hadn’t had decades in this timeline to build wealth. And I wasn’t some female historical isekai protagonist who could make a fortune off of hotpot and braised pork belly.

I suppose I could claim ownership of all the various prescriptions created in my past life, but I would have to get stronger first. Since I was a genius, I was already suspicious. If I started taking credit for a bunch of new pills, I was positive some old Immortal Bone Creation asshole would come along and try to soul-search me. While I could fight back, I’d rather not deal with harassment like that, since it might increase the dichotomy between my body and soul again.

Bright Flame finished setting up his area.

I put a hand behind my back and rested another on the surface of his blue cauldron. “First, when you have an issue, start by checking your most important equipment.”

It had fish and dragon patterns covering its metal surface and felt clean to the touch. While it was older, there were no cracks from explosions or residual medicinal Qi that would mess with it.

“This looks good. You’ve taken excellent care of it.”

He beamed with pride.

Next, I used divine sense to investigate each of his ingredients.

I frowned.

“Do you think you have quality spiritual herbs here?”

His eyes went wide. “Of course. I even had a senior examine them all to double-check.”

I pointed to a withered-looking tree root. “Including this one?”

He hesitated but nodded. “It’s supposed to look like that. It’s the Autumn Withered Root which slightly slows down your perception of time.”

I knew that, but since it was a rare herb in most areas outside our continent I wanted to test him and show it to the other alchemists in the crowd.

This ingredient would help make an hour feel like 15 minutes. Not good in a fight, but it made meditating easier for some.

“Good, you didn’t trip up.”

He sighed with relief and tugged at the ends of his sleeves.

“But what about this leaf, here?”

A round spiritual leaf that bulged in its center like it was about to pop. It was perfect except for the small dent in its center, which I pointed to.

“That’s an Exploding Eucalyptus Leaf. It’s a little on the ripe side, but it should still be okay to use.”

I flicked air at the kid’s glabella. His eyes grew wide.

“Use your head. If your ingredients have flaws, then how can you even think of making a pinnacle quality pill?”

He rubbed the space between his brows. “But I’ve seen masters make pinnacle quality pills with ingredients that weren’t top quality.”

“Masters have developed difficult techniques and hand seal patterns that remove impurities. You are not a master. If you want to create a pinnacle pill without that knowledge, and without their energy capacity, then start with good ingredients.”

His head bobbed, then he froze. He swallowed nervously. “Ah, I don’t have a better herb right now.”

Magnificent Moon, my sect junior, spoke up from her place in the crowd, “I have one!”

Oh! Radiant Skies was there too, standing beside her. She no longer had that stuck-up expression on her face. Since I didn’t see Emerald Pine. It was likely she’d stayed at the Indomitable Will sect’s booth… er store. Whatever.

Peak Elder Grass Sprout had to be the only one from our sect listening to the Guest of Honor’s lecture.

Alchemist Magnificent Moon traded her higher quality leaf for the slightly over-ripe one and a few spirit stones.

I nodded to her. Even though she didn’t like me, she was still a good junior.

“Now that your herbs are high quality, let’s review what order you plan to add your ingredients into the cauldron.”

He quickly listed the fifteen plants that made up the pill. As he did so, I visualized how the concoction would go. Once he finished, I smiled.

“I see you’ve stayed true to the profound concepts in the pill’s name. You set each plant with the yin attribute next to one with yang. However, you have forgotten the calming aspect. If you’re trying to make a pill that allows your mind to peacefully concentrate on something for long periods of time, you need to keep the concoction as balanced as possible.”

It was weird but, fuck it, it worked in this world.

His brow furrowed.

“Think about it logically.”

“Logically? But I don’t practice your style of alchemy.”

I scowled, then clasped my hands behind my back. “Thinking logically is only one part of my Dao, and is something everyone can benefit from.”

“Okay, then, having yin-attributed herbs next to yang will make the solution calm while concocting.”

“No. It would keep it balanced, not calm. The point is to have a pot that’s as still as a rock. Consider this: each plant has different degrees of yin and yang. That means that you’ll need to pair two plants with little yin together with one root with a large amount of yang… What you’ve described earlier was a child’s understanding, but what I need from you is your genius level of knowledge that solved the Five Leaves Break Down.”

The kid’s cheeks turned pink. “Ah, I, ah, had help. If it weren’t for Senior Violet Pill and her team—”

I snorted with derision, cutting him off, but I didn’t comment. The last thing I wanted was for a child to get hurt from breaking whatever deal he had with that bitch, even if it would benefit me.

“Alright. So, we know that each of these plants has different levels of yin and yang, except for the Black Gold Hawthorn Berry, which has neither. So the first step to adjusting the order of your ingredients is by assigning an amount of yin and yang to each plant. Because you’re just learning, keep it simple. One, two and three. One being the least amount and three, the highest.”

“I don’t have divine sense. How  am I supposed to do that?”

I grinned evilly. “Think back. You must have created this pill a hundred times, right?”

“It feels like a thousand.”

“Then remember which plants had a weaker effect on the concoction and which ones affected it more.”

“Oh!”

Yeah. Once it was pointed out, it seemed obvious. But unless an alchemist had a deep understanding of plants and naturally put them together, it was difficult to get correct at first… at least for the non-logical. Many practitioners ended up wasting a bunch of ingredients because they didn’t think things through fully. Or because their masters taught them a particular order, but not the logic behind it. That was like teaching someone that it rained when the sky becomes dark and cloudy, but not how the clouds were created in the first place. Fine for the average person, but not for someone aspiring to be an expert.

While the kid assigned a number to each plant, I stood beside him and turned my attention toward my rival.

Violet’s usually arrogant smirk had been replaced by one that showed her obvious frustration. Seeing her like this made me happy.

Apparently, Little Spring was arguing about the recipe’s order.

He scowled. “What do you mean, the root goes before the blossom? Obviously, the spicy root needs to be before the Crimson Peach Flower, or you’ll make my sister’s cauldron explode.”

Violet crossed her arms and the pill beast around her neck sent a beady-eyed glare at the kid. “Just put it in the order I told you.”

He shook his head. “Sister Lin loves this cauldron. I won’t do anything that will damage it.”

What a thoughtful brat. I should probably tell him why that cauldron means so much to me, considering that part of the reason was teaching him a pill he’d never learned before. Oops.

Violet crossed her arms. “Alright, do it your way, and once you start to fail, I’ll show you how to fix it. We have enough time before the lecture is supposed to start, anyway.”

He nodded. I saw him about to make a newer hand seal that looked like double guns pointed into the air.

::Hey! Remember to use the old seals I taught you!::

Without pausing, he fixed his gesture, using one less finger and pointing forward with his left hand. ::Thank you for the reminder, Sister Lin!::

::Any time.::

::This method is so much harder.::

::It’s better than having your soul searched.::

He paused only briefly before he continued to show off his classic gestures. ::Ah. Now that I’m using these, I can see why Violet Pill Fairy told me to switch the plant positions. I’ll have to use some of our regular hand seals secretly.::

::No. Figure out a way around it. Never underestimate Violet. She’s a cunning enemy and will notice your deception.::

After assigning a value to each herb, Bright Flame turned to me. “Is that right?”

“It’s close enough. Once you gain more experience, you can become more precise with your numbering system.”

He nodded.

“Let’s move on.” I tapped on the table, which accidentally rattled the jade boxes the plants had been in. “What order should we use?”

After scanning the herbs, his eyes lit up with comprehension. “Wait! This means that these five leaves should go together like this.” He moved the plants around to the order I would have put them in.

Then he excitedly switched a few more plants before looking to me for confirmation.

“Now, try it.” I gestured to his cauldron that had been warming on the earthen flame.

He threw himself into his concocting. With his precise movements, and near-perfect timing, it was easy to see that this child was a genius. Well, he wasn’t as heaven-defyingly good as Little Spring, but if he didn’t get himself killed, he’d go far.

I used my split mind technique, so I could keep my eye on Bright Flame’s alchemy and check out what the other side was doing.

Little Spring’s flame was as high as it could go while he added one of the ingredients that needed an increased temperature to melt fully. With a twist of his wrist and a downward point, he quickly dropped the fire and gave the concoction time to cool before adding a spiritual berry known for being good for the lungs.

So far, so good. Frankly, if the kid kept going like this, he’d soon create a pinnacle quality pill on his first try.

Then the brat used his spiritual energy to bring over the Crimson Peach Flower and waited to throw it in. At least that was what he should have done. The flower suddenly entered the cauldron. His eyes widened, then he jerked his head to look at Violet, who was obviously the one who’d thrown it in for him.

With the early addition of the flower, my poor cauldron rattled intensely. An explosion appeared imminent. I clenched my hands into fists to prevent myself from intervening.

“Are you going to stop it, save it, or let it blow?” Violet said.

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Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for!

I finally figured out what was up with the images. Apparently, Patreon doesn’t like images that have been pasted from google docs so I have To add them manually. I can’t even paste them first, then add them in again because that also messes them up. (╬▔皿▔)╯

This week has been pretty good. While I’m still not getting enough sleep, the sleep I am getting is better! I also decided that getting used to waking up several hours early, was not a good idea while I am also getting used to sleep therapy. So, I’m back to writing at night for now.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do much editing on Monday because I couldn't have my normal writing/editing hours. It’s also why I haven’t been able to edit the other Tanking Hits chapters I’ve written (T.T’). I have about three more written that I need to edit for grammar (it’s kind of hard to not do a full edit on them but I just don’t have the time or energy). I’ll post them all sometime this week.