Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (Part 6) (Patreon)

As I turned, the first person I noticed was Violet, my old enemy. A white pill beast was wrapped around her shoulders like a scarf. Now and then, it would move slightly, and she’d stroke its head to calm it.

The bitch had a small group of cultivators surrounding her, the most prominent being a powerful Immortal Bone Creation man who casually walked with his hands behind his back like a happy grandfather. The white-haired old man wore ivory robes with delicate embroidered leaf patterns and sage trimming. I knew I’d seen this expert before, but I couldn’t place him. Either way, I had a feeling that Violet made it into the convention because of him.

A boy with a familiar face walked just in front of them and excitedly bounced with every step. He was at the peak of Qi Condensation and around the same middle-grader-age as Little Spring, with bluish-black hair and upturned azure eyes.

There were also two Foundation Establishment girls who wore white robes with blue trimming, similar in style to the boy, showing that they came from the same sect. These two were practically bending over to fawn over Violet like she was their grandmother.

She must have sensed my gaze on her group because she turned toward us. Her eyes burned with fury for a second before someone from the convention crowd passed between us. The next time I saw her, she laughed at something the elder said. Then she subtly headed in our direction.

With her here and looking for a fight, my hopes for a peaceful vacation went up in cauldron smoke.

Pill Otaku leaned in a little. “In the guide they gave us, her lecture topic seems to be about a formula she solved. Its title is, How to Approach Solving Alchemical Problems.”

Actually, that sounded like the less specific, generic version of my lecture, How to Produce Less Expensive Prescriptions Using Abundant Local Plants.

“That can’t be right.” Since I’d last seen her, it would be impossible for her to solve a unique alchemical issue significant enough to get invited here. The bitch wasn’t that smart. I mean, she was a genius, but only when it came to making profits and perfecting pills. She had only developed the cure for the plague in my previous life because she’d worked with the demonic cultivator who created it, not because she was adept at inventing new prescriptions.

“Alchemist Violet Pill greets Senior Ruthless Divine Medicine and Senior White Lily,” Violet said. Once they nodded in acknowledgment, she turned to me. “And if it isn’t Little Fairy Lin? The supposed genius who created the cheap cure for the Demonic Vine Plague.”

“Violet Pill Fairy, the genius at earning spirit stones by exploiting others and creating monopolies.”

She shrugged, showing no shame. “Well, I am very good.”

That wasn’t a compliment!

Her eyes softened when they landed on my little martial brother. “I see you’ve become taller, young alchemist Little Spring. You’re going to be a very handsome man when you grow up.”

While I didn’t think she was being creepy like Verdant Bamboo, I was still reminded of Violet’s history with Bloodsword. I subtly stepped between them.

Sure Little Spring and that reprehensible shit donkey were completely different individuals, but the two did share one significant commonality — the same protagonist’s body — halo included. If what had drawn Violet to him was that, then I’d have to teach Little Spring about the type of people he should avoid later, which consisted of both creepers and consummate capitalists who would sell their own family if it made them a profit.

I crossed my arms. “How did you get an invitation to the Alchemist’s convention?”

She gestured to the powerful old expert next to her. He stroked his white beard and studied us with large black eyes. I was positive I’d seen him before. Likely when I was relatively very young.

“I don’t deserve all the credit, so I shouldn’t say how.”

I squinted at her.

That fake-ass humbleness didn’t suit her. Usually, she’d be rambling about her accomplishments and boasting about how much money she made off of them.

Pill Otaku bowed to the higher realmed cultivator. “Greetings Pill Saint Five Leaves Medicine.”

The rest of us quickly did the same.

Where had I seen him before? If he was a Pill Saint, then he was a level above Grandmaster. There weren’t too many of them around during this time period, maybe a couple hundred, like the convention’s guest of honor, the Azure Pill Saint. There were even fewer Pill Monarchs, considered the peak for an alchemist in this era.

Five Leaves Medicine waved us off. “No need to be so formal at the convention. We’re all experts who’ve greatly contributed to the field.”

He looked down at Violet with the eyes of a loving mentor. “I invited her and her team here.” His lips curled into an excited smile. “Let me tell you, this girl’s mind is too brilliant.”

“My team deserves the real credit. I only solved a small portion of the problem.”

Who the fuck kidnapped Violet and replaced her with this person?

The old man stroked his short beard and looked like he was holding in a chuckle. “Stop being so humble.”

Hold on. When was this bitch ever this humble?

“You’re the most promising genius in your generation! Actually, in several generations!”

She rested her hand on the shoulder of the boy, who was around Little Spring’s age. “I can’t take all the credit. Bright Flame here solved a significant portion of it, too.” She said that, but her expression showed that she was just pretending to be magnanimous.

The old man rolled his eyes. “If you expect me to believe who, between you and that child, cracked a problem I’d spent decades on, I would know it was mostly you at a glance. Though I’m sure he contributed a small portion.”

He addressed Otaku and White Lily. “I had been searching for a solution to an alchemy problem that I named Five Leaves Break Down for so long that my clan gave me my new Daoist name.”

“That issue is famous,” White Lily said, her eyes widening.

Little Spring turned to me. “Isn’t that the strange problem we went over a while ago, where the effectiveness of the pill decreases by a lot when you add five or more leafy spiritual plants in a row?”

“Good memory!” I grinned. “While reordering your recipe or adding a sixth leafy plant can allow you to avoid it, that’s not always the best way to solve it, since that can leave too many residuals and affect the quality.”

I secretly added, ::Just make sure you don’t go blabbing about the real solution until after you see it. I didn’t realize it had only just been invented.::

::Why not show it and take credit for discovering it before these people?::

I gently flicked his forehead. He grimaced. ::Who is your martial sister?::

::Fairy Lin::

::Do I need to take credit for the work of others when I’m already this amazing?::

::No!::

::Exactly!::

Besides, I’d rather find some way for the real inventor to be revealed, and completely discredit that lying bitch. Muahahaha!

Since Violet Pill Fairy was not the one who discovered the proper way to handle those situations. She would have never shut up about it if it had been her.

Who was it?

Ugh, I’d always laughed at those nerds who spent their time on trivia like this, when they could work to create something that would make them the next trivia fact... but now I was the one who needed that information the most... Wait! I did know this one because his Daoist name changed to Five Leaves Bright Flame in honor of his contribution to the field… It was that boy standing in front of Violet! He had actually solved it. Violet probably didn’t help much, if at all.

I narrowed my eyes at her. This bitch must be acting like an unethical professor… No, that child was too calm. Unless he was an idiot, he had to know what Violet was doing. If I had to guess, she paid him a shit ton of spirit stones to be included as one of the creators of the solution with the caveat that she never directly says that she created it alone.

This way, she could ask Bright Flame questions on the sly to fool this Immortal Bone Creation expert. And if he ever found out she wasn’t the real genius, then she could just point out that she hadn’t lied.

It reminded me of those big tech companies in my past-past life going around buying innovative start-ups so they could say they created their products in-house.

A wide grin spread across the Pill Saint’s face as he looked down at me. “A very apt way to explain it. While we still don’t know why this happens, we now have a solution to it! Meaning that we don’t need to add in a separate plant to break up that series of leaves, causing the medicine to not be as pure as it could be! Before this, everything I tried never worked. Eventually, I posted my Five Leaves Problem in the Alchemists’ Guild so the younger generation could work on it.”

Violet must have been done showing off because she tugged on the old man’s sleeve to get his attention. Once he turned to her.

She pouted. “Senior Five Leaves Medicine, can we sit in on the lecture before this conference’s Guest of Honor? Alchemist Thirty-Two Thumbs’ class on the new uses for Three Stars Crimson Carrots is something I’m very interested in. Of course, I’d also like to be inside the hall once the Azure Pill Sage begins. His new hand seals are the main reason I wanted to come here.”

As a consummate capitalist, Violet had to be after those high tier spirit stones for her lecture.

High tier spirit stones were worth about 1000 medium tier ones, but, similar to most Xianxia, the author made it so that no one who had high tier stones would ever actually make that trade even for a hundred times the lesser stones. Their purer energy made them way the fuck more useful for everything from cultivating to creating advanced spiritual tools.

Of course, Violet had the last lecture of the day. Chances were, hers wouldn’t be very full, but she still had the potential of earning over a thousand stones, just like I did.

Five Leaves Medicine grinned like a proud grandfather. “Of course, we can see it. I’m curious too. Us old alchemists also have to keep up on the latest techniques these days.”

With his agreement, Violet’s group said goodbye to us, then meandered down the street. Before they disappeared down toward the lecture hall area, Violet sent me one last smirk.

Yeah, that bitch was up to something. I’d have to look out for any tricks she tried to pull during this con, but it wasn’t like she’d come up with something she hadn’t already thrown at me in my past life. I was confident I could handle any of her nonsense.

Pill Otaku grimaced. “I hope they enjoy his lecture more than I did.”

We all stared at the alchemy nerd in shock.

He grimaced. I heard the Azure Pill Sage’s lecture at a small Alchemists’ Guild Conference a couple of weeks ago. While interesting, I think his gestures are too limiting. While new, more stable, hand seals would be welcome, they should flow into each other easily. Right now, his appear to flop more awkwardly than a pair of Alabaster Fluttering Wing Leaves.”

That was a spiritual herb ingredient that looked like a pair of broken white dove wings. They flapped like a half-dead bird's to lure in the flower part’s prey.

Unlike those old hand seals, my advanced ones flowed into each other beautifully while also increasing control. But they too had flaws here and there.

I had a feeling that, if Pill Otaku had survived in my past life, he would have been the one to improve them. Maybe in this life, he could develop something even better than what I used.

Ruthless grinned down at me. “Besides, rather than listen to a lecture I’ve already heard, I’d rather have a discussion with you on the Dao of Alchemy.”

Pill Otaku, as usual, had excellent taste.

“That’s what I was hoping for as well.” Finally, I could really start my vacation!

Little Spring tugged on my sleeve. “Are you planning on staying here for a while?”

“That’s my plan.”

“Then I’m going to look around.”

While that was a normal thing for a middle-grader to want to do, I still studied the brat intensely. Because he wasn’t normal.

He looked at me blankly.

I continued staring.

He squirmed. ::I thought I saw something strange.::

There it was. ::What did you see?::

His lips tightened. ::I’ll tell you once I confirm. I could be wrong about this and I don’t want to possibly embarrass myself.::

Yeah. Fuck that. That was what protagonists said when they didn’t think anyone would believe them, so they left to gather evidence first before getting into trouble…

That said, I had just started my goddamn vacation at a convention where nothing bad ever happened.

That didn’t mean there weren’t bad actors trying to start trouble. But, like the situation with the tea house earlier proved, the security here was no joke. It would take some incredibly powerful people to bypass the guards, something I never heard happening in the thousand years I’d been alive.

Besides, Little Spring could always jump into his space if things became dangerous. I was confident he knew how to do that well enough now since that was the main thing he practiced while in hell training. He shouldn’t fuck up like he had during the tree mission and the vine plague mission… And possibly the crab mission, but we didn’t talk about that.

It helped that I wasn’t the only adult in our group. This time I would do some delegating because I wanted my fucking break.

::Alright, go. But take Ghosty McGhostface.:: It took the old soul a while to come out of his coma, but he eventually returned. After seven months of cultivation, he still hadn’t completely recovered, but he was strong enough to help out. With his presence, I could let the universe’s protagonist run around all he wanted.

Of course, I also had the feeling that if I prevented him from doing what he needed to, whatever incident may or may not happen would turn bad.

Little Spring nodded seriously.

::If things get dangerous, call our juniors. They are pretty reliable.::

::I will. And I’ll bring a recording device so I can show you that bad things can happen at the Alchemy Convention.::

::Yeah, I am not asking you to do that. In fact, please do not.::

The kid said his goodbyes, then quickly darted toward a shady alleyway.

Yeah. He’d be fiiiiine.

Previous | Next 

Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for!

And doubly thank you for your patience! Changing my schedule has been pretty rough. It’s hard to remember to go to sleep earlier so I can wake up earlier. While I’m still very exhausted, my stress levels have decreased significantly (I used to constantly be frustrated while watching my boy because I couldn’t write or edit yet then I’d be too exhausted to edit when the time came). So I’m going to keep waking up early to write (now I just need to get my sleep schedule back on track so my brain functions in the morning).

I’m really looking forward to getting Story 9 into the hands of my development editor. While I’m pretty confident in the direction I’m taking this, it will be nice to have someone confirm that. I just hope I’m not throwing too much setup at you all at once. 😅

By the way, one thing Lin would never admit to, that I hope comes across, is that she's one of the biggest alchemy nerds of all. 🤣