A Close Shave (Patreon)

Jessica was an insufferable shit. That wasn’t part of the plan. In fact, it was jeopardizing the plan, so an update was in urgent order. 16:12, chair 2, 42-48 Great Portland St, Fitzrovia, London W1W 7NB, UK.

Jessica was tapping the counter, in time for her appointment for once, and not taking well to be kept waiting. How hard can it be to look up a name? She smiled at the cashier. On the other hand it is amazing that a cow can use a computer at all. “There it is. You have an appointment with Eva, right?” Jessica rolled her eyes. “You’re the one with the computer.” The cow ignored the jab. “This way, please. Can I offer you a tea or coffee?”

Jessica threw herself into the barbers chair. “Earl Gray, milk and sugar”. As soon as the bovine turned around time slowed down to a syrup. Everything started to shimmer like gold flakes in a tequila bottle on Kos. Someone stepped in from behind and started to touch her hair. She was trying to turn towards the mirror, but her body wasn’t moving anywhere near the speed of her thought.

“Looks like we have to trim quite a bit” a voice boomed behind her. “The chest obviously has to go. Hips too. I think we’ll stay with a slender look.” Time was moving too slow for Jessica to breathe, but still it felt like she had the air knocked out of her and a tingling sensation all over the chest and belly. Without success she tried to redirect her gaze from going towards the mirror to looking down on herself. “I think we’ll also stay with ‘attractive’ to minimize cascade effects. Same social network, different responsibility.”

Her entire body tingled now, in pulses. It was bordering unpleasant, like when you’ve kept your leg sleeping for way too long. The pulses were passing through her head, her face. She wanted to squint, to close her eyes. To close all senses. The shut down the brain. The light was getting too loud.

Susan placed a cup of tea, Earl Gray, no milk, no sugar, on the table just as Eva arrived. “Hi Jesse, how are you? What do you want done today?”

“Yo. Machine the sides and neck. Careful trim on top. I like this length. Thanks for the tea, Susan.”

When Becky invites you to study, you dab Penhaligon’s and look your very best.

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