Big Daddy Dispatch: March 2021 (Patreon)

Dispatch Fifty Two, February 28th, 2021



Hello WHM Family!

Oh boy oh boy, it's Listener Request Month! The one month a year you get to ruin our show program our show! If you watched live on YouTube you already know what we're doing this month (just one of the many benefits you'll get by subscribing to our YouTube Channel), but for the rest of you folks just scroll down a few clicks to find out. We've got a full docket of some of the most requested titles of all time! Not to mention a WLM Classic in the making (we already recorded it and it's 3 hours, duh). March is gonna be a barn burner! 

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe SobreiroImage Credit:  Four Loudmouths by We Hate Movies

BRAND NEW PATREON TIER: THE WALSH

Alithon, Billy the Liar, the Riverboat Strangler, Mel Row, Steve the Racist, Scott the Doomed, and Chris' Nemesis Jim Walsh are all BACK baby! MelR0210 has returned with a bang on our new $10.00 Walsh tier. 


But that's not all! This month we'll be dropping TWO WHOLE PODCASTS dedicated to ...whatever the hell Zack Snyder's cut of Justice League is called. We're titling it Justice League: The Snyder Sessions and it'll only be available on the Walsh tier, so you don't want to miss out! 

Not to mention, starting in April we'll be doing a bi-monthly podcast series called Once in a Lifetime dedicated to Lifetime original movies! All sorts of baby stealing madness (and more Eric Roberts than one might expect).

We'll also be launching TV Recaps of the The Book of Boba Fett and Disney+'s Obi Wan Kenobi show on this tier as well. You don't want to miss ANY of this! Sign up today!

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 529 – The Karate Kid Part II



To round out the Miyagi quadrology, the boys fly out to Okinawa with Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio to see Miyagi’s father and settle a long-standing blood feud. Is it contractually obligated that Daniel-san get his ass handed to him in each Karate Kid? (If so, great job!) Can all these movies just be about Miyagi and his history of cucking his friends? Can we go to an ice-chopping bar as soon as the plague has passed? Justice for Team Chozen!Happy Valentine’s Day! We got you a heart-shaped box of shit. Andrew, Eric, Steve, and Chris get lovey dovey with grieving widow Hilary Swank as she mourns her creepy, Pogues-singing husband Gerard Butler, woos serial killer Harry Connick Jr., and bangs Jeffrey Dean Morgan despite an Irish accent taken directly from the garbage. Was the priest singing the gay slur a big laugh line in the script? Why did Swank decide to perform at the Masters of Karaoke if she was not fully prepared? Are they using that awful speaker-box urn as a garbage can as well or what? If so, good for them.Episode 530 – P.S. I Love You

Episode 531 – Gremlins 2: The New Batch (PATREON ONLY)

For this month’s WLM, the gang tackles one of the greatest of all sequels, in which Billy and Gizmo once again unleash a small kind of hell by allowing Gremlins to literally pop off, this time in a Trump Tower-esque highrise in New York City. What is this situation between Billy and Marla and why hasn’t Kate shut it the fuck down? What exactly were the Futtermans’ travel plans here? How is this both the best performance Hulk Hogan has ever given and the best movie he’s appeared in? Cue the Clamp Network apocalypse tape!Episode 532 – Mr. Nanny with Clint Worthington

The boys welcome Clint Worthington of The Spool and the Travolta/Cage podcast on the show to talk about a foundational work of the tough-guy-gets-belittled-by-children subgenre, in which Hulk Hogan must protect the children of arms specialist Austin Pendleton from iron-plated David Johansen. When will the fart rock revival finally arrive? What happened to our dream of a great wrestler-based cinema? Can we get a movie about the early days with Hulk and Sherman Helmsley? Don’t mind us, we’re just fantasizing about Miami Vice starring the Hulkster.

Episode 533 – Live Wire



Andrew, Steve, Chris, and Eric round out the month by hitting the streets with Pierce Brosnan to stop some vague terrorists who plan to destabilize Washington D.C. with a water-based bomb that cause people to suddenly explode. No, there are no typos in that sentence. How was Ron Silver a sex object with this haircut? How are we supposed to watch Pierce Brosnan and not start kissing the screen? Did Blown Away just completely plagiarize this movie? No, we’re not kidding. People drink water and then explode. It’s incredible.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.Andrew: This last month I was trying to watch as much as I could that wasn’t for the show. With our ever-increasing output, sometimes it’s hard to watch stuff just for Andrew and I can feel my brain starting to melt—I mean, come on, we watched The Pest a few weeks ago! So I took some chances on stuff I hadn’t seen, and also revisited some old faves that I own on, you guessed it, 4K—drink!

The Shining: Finally took this 4K for a ride well over a year after purchasing it—to give you an idea of how terrible I am about buying physical media and not watching what I purchase. This film is one of my favorites and I’m always stoked to go back. We got a ton of snow here in NYC throughout February so it was totally appropriate. 

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood: I’ve probably watched this 4K disc like six times already. I put it on early one Saturday evening and it was just what I needed, when I needed it. Still glorious.

Malone: A so-so Burt Reynolds movie where he’s playing an ex-CIA agent whose car breaks down in a small town and he spends a few days murdering various alt-right domestic terrorists while he waits for a part to get delivered. It’s kind of slow, but has a really action-packed, squib-tastic third act.

Keep an Eye Out: This new one from absurdist French filmmaker, Quentin Dupieux is a delightfully weird comedy about a guy arrested on suspicion of murder and the endless, ridiculous police interrogation he has to go through. Look for it in-theaters and virtual cinemas starting 3/5. 

Chris: Once every few years, the BBC documentarian/video essayist Adam Curtis returns to completely fuck up any possibility for a good mood for at least a few days. It’s what his fans have come to expect from him and come to him for (up to a point), and I don’t think he would have the large and dedicated following he has if the forever-thundering cloud of fucked vibes that followed him didn’t also come with radical, sober-eyed ideas about the sweep of history and a vast, globe-trotting, and endlessly fascinating analysis of global financial power. His latest, Can’t Get You Out of My Head, is a staggering six-part investigation of people’s emotional responses to political and liberative narratives, anchored by a smattering of truly unique individuals, including Black Panther icon Afeni Shakur (Tupac’s mother), the Trinidadian civil rights leader and conman Michael X, and Jiang Qing, the former actress and final wife of Mao Zedong. The thematic threads that Curtis is drawing could easily be seen as no different from the rantings of Rust Cohle or a grand-scale reproduction of the Pepe Silvia meme, but that’s half the point with Curtis. In previous works like The Trap and Century of the Self, Curtis occasionally highlighted how easily largely illusory narratives can be orchestrated and spread in a way to make them feel organic and logical, and how the movies, TV, and computers pushed the work of conflicting ideological illusions outward and inward, spanning the globe and infesting most parts of daily life in the online age. Curtis gives you no guarantees that what he has constructed is gospel and openly undermines the certainty of his own narratives of history, but he believes in them and I found his latest to be both his most overwhelmingly credible and disquieting. Not for everyone, but it grabbed me within the first five minutes and it’s available for free on YouTube, along with most of Curtis’ other work.

Eric: Since we recorded our episode on Live Wire, I have gone further down that Pierce Brosnan rabbit hole. I watched Nomads which honestly is kinda interesting and even Lynchian in flares. Pierce is of course outrageous in this French archeologist role but if you like him and John McTiernan it might be worth peeping. I wouldn't call it anywhere near good though. As I said on the episode (I think) though, Don't Talk to Strangers is worth it. I also rewatched Gary Busey in Eye of the Tiger for an upcoming episode of Junkfood Cinema in which I was the guest. Totally entertaining movie. Some other random movies I saw this month which I enjoyed: Crippled Avengers (1978), Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar, and Tammy and the T-Rex (gore version now available via Shudder.) 
.

Steve: We moved again! The address for all you interested is 144...wait a minute, you almost got me!! Damn, you're good at this. This is all to say that I haven't had a ton of time to watch stuff that wasn't on the show, but, I did have time for a few good ones:

Nomadland: This is a God Tier Frances McDormand performance. Incredibly vulnerable and strong at the same time and all the while very human, which is something I found missing in her much lauded Three Billboards performance from a few years back. Her and Strathairn have fantastic chemistry, and I'd be very cool with him getting some attention for his performance as well. There's some truly gorgeous photography there too and really confident direction, but something, (I still can't put my finger on it) left me a touch cold overall. Good, not great. Certainly a recommend.

Star Trek: Beyond: We have a very lame tradition of watching a Star Trek movie as the first watch whenever we move so we decided to give this one another spin and I was surprised how well it held up! Lots of fun character stuff that might be slightly dimmed by a weak-ish villain turn by Idris Elba (not his fault!) who gets totally hidden in pretty silly make-up. A really fun entry in a film series that DESERVES MORE ENTRIES! How hard is it to make more of these?! You have an incredibly likeable cast RARING TO GO. JUST DO IT PARAMOUNT. 

Can You Ever Forgive Me?: I fucking love this movie. Terrifically rewatchable and as someone who hasn't spent any meaningful time in Manhattan in over a year, a movie that fills me with a bit melancholic nostalgia. It's a difficult little movie with likably unlikable characters and easily the best performance of Melissa McCarthy's career. I want more movies like this, please. Between this and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, I'm terrifically excited to see what Marielle Heller does next.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUNDHere's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from 
Annie in Ohio, who asks: 

"What film character do you wish was played by Joe Don Baker instead?"

Andrew: Joe Don Baker is one of our greatest, sweatiest character actors and there are a lot of places that would’ve been rad to see him plugged into. How hilarious would it be if Joe Don Baker played Dracula? They’d have to keep calling cut because he’s eating the turkey leg on the table meant for Jonathan Harker: “Hey, Joe Don? Dracula doesn’t eat turkey legs, brother!” And come on, JDB getting a stake through the heart? You know our guy could sell that shit.

Chris: Oh, man, that is difficult. Joe Don Baker has such a specific energy that he kinda completely rearranges any movie he is in into something different, the scale of that transformation depending on how prominently he is featured. GoldenEye is one of the best Bonds partially because of his scenes. Off the top of my head, I can see him working with Roger Rabbit instead of Bob Hoskins would be a real treat. Just hours of Roger trying to get him to stop drinking and eating beef to no avail. The idea of him being Riggs instead of Mel Gibson also gives me a chuckle, openly hitting on Danny Glover’s wife and daughter without the charm and sense of levity. Just an old fat white dude who wants to die, living in your home with your family, waiting to combust into violence.

Eric: James Bond. I didn't get to see my co-hosts answers yet but I wonder if they also said this? Maybe it's the Pierce Brosnan on my brain and the fact that Joe Don Baker played 2 roles in Bond history. Give me a What If storyline of an actual Jimmy Bond, a real straight up Jimbo fella. American James Bond. What a concept! And no, I refuse to acknowledge shit like Jack Ryan, Jason Bourne, or Jack Bauer being any equivalent. Imagine this, he takes his Miller Lite shaken up because he wants suds when he shotguns that fuckin' thing. Runner up: Han Solo. 

Steve:  Ok, so there's a bunch of different ways this can go, so I'm going to give you three:

1.) Doctor Loomis (Halloween): This is my least jokey answer because I think it would kind of rule. You plop a mid-50's JDB in the Loomis role and watch him hunt that big ole sumbitch Mikey Myers (he would definitely call him Mikey). It would be the only Halloween film to end with a slobber-knocker.

2.) Wolverine (X-Men): This would be a 1970's set X-Men picture where big Jimmy D. B. plays the plucky, aggressive Canadian. He's got the swagger and gruffness down for a great Logan and since Hugh Jackman RUINED the "being short" requirement, I'd like to watch Logan chomp cigars and fried chicken at the same time. (and because you're curious Ryan O'Neil as Cyclops, Jobeth Williams as Jean Grey,  Susan Sarandon as Rogue, Roy Scheider as Professor Xavier, and Donald Sutherland as Magneto). Shit, now I really want this. 

3.) Jesus Christ (Jesus Christ Superstar): The whole point of the musical is to show how human and fallible Jesus was, and who is more fallible than Joseph Donald Baker? Nobody, that's who. This would fulfill two of my fantasies at once: Seeing Joe Don Baker sing and seeing him crucified. Win/Win.

MARCH SCHEDULE (TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, BTW)Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out in the month of February!  

Episode 534 — The Pest

Episode 535 — Warriors of Virtue 

Episode 536 — Poltergeist II

Episode 537 — Vertical Limit

Episode 538 — Double Team


Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — Goodfellas

Animation Damnation — The Transformers: Carnage in C-Minor (s3, e14)

The Nexus: TNG: "Relics" (s6 e4) TNG: "Schisms" (s6, e5)

Gleep Glossary: Hohass Ekwesh 

Melr0210: 90210: "Home Again" (s1, e22) Melrose Place: "Peanut Butter and Jealousy"  (s1, e20)

Justice League: The Snyder Sessions

First Quarter Synch-able Commentary: Enter The Ninja

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! now!PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION




If you're not subscribed to our Youtube Channel you are missing out on a ton of great content! We're going to be live streaming all Mailbags going forward (we'll be doing them on a semi-monthly basis depending on letters and our own schedule).  We've also been extracting the VHS Trailer game from all episodes  so that they can live on their own with Felipe's fantastic artwork. Eric has also put out great clip packages like David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, Egg Lawyer, Lak Sivrak, the Wolfman of Star Wars, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. You can also find full episodes like Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Demolition Man, Thinner, Knowing, Cool as Ice, and The Devil's Advocate! There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric and Ben have to contend with a HELL of a Bruce Glover performance and a psychic! You don't want to miss this one! Listen here!Be sure to check out Andrew’s appearance on The B-Side, a Film Stage podcast all about some underseen films of the great Michael Keaton—the episode should be airing this Thursday, March 4th.If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We've got awesome designs like The VHS Trailer Game logo, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more and more to come! 

That's gonna do it for this month's dispatch, thanks as always for your incredible support and we're excited to keep putting out content for you fine folks!

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies