Big Daddy Dispatch: February 2020 (Patreon)

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Dispatch Thirty Nine, February 3rd, 2020
 

Hello WHM Family!
 

2020 is off to an amazing start, what with the debut of a new Patreon sideshow in Making It So, four banger mainfeed episodes on some  of the worst titles of 2019, over a thousand listener requests from you  folks, and the birth of President Nerd. We have every intention of  making this year the best one yet and we can tell you folks do to!
 

To that end, and speaking of President Nerd, have you seen these incredible super cuts Eric has been making? They are an amazing way to get new people excited about the show and bring people into the Big Daddy tent! So go to youtube.com/wehatemovies subscribe and share the shit out of these bits on social media, email to your friends, and spread the word!
 

And speaking of Listener Request Month and Youtube, be sure you're  subscribed as we'll be recording and dropping the LIVE DRAWING of the  Listener Request Month titles on Wednesday February 12th at 7pm Eastern!
 

Also, we've planned our 500th episode and we can't wait to tell you what it is...in due time, get hyped!
 

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro 

Image Credit: President Nerd by Felipe Sobriero

LAST MONTH ON WHM   Episode 462 – Hellboy (2019)
 

   On the first episode of the Worst of 2019, the boys descend into the lower depths to talk about Hellboy,  a very bad reboot of the Guillermo del Toro franchise about a  hard-drinking, foul-mouthed devil-man. Can we talk more about the baby  soup? Who thought this flippant, aggressive sense of humor was a good  idea? What’s with the demon wrestlers, the giant hunters and the giants,  the birdhouse with the witch, and JESUS CHRIST, WHY IS SO MUCH  HAPPENING?!
 

Also: Hellboy fucked Eric good one time.  

Episode 463 – Angel Has Fallen
 

American Mike is back in American Mike 3,  and the gang is raring to go on the lam with appropriately accented  Gerard Butler. Is Nick Nolte actually good in this movie? Doesn’t anyone  know that Danny Huston is always the bad guy? What is Jada Pinkett  Smith doing in this movie? Can it be considered cheating if you have a  threesome with Alexa and Siri? Maybe President Nerd will respond to  these questions?
 

Episode 464 – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)  

On the Patreon-only We Love Movies,  Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve take a look at one of their  not-at-all-controversial favorites from 2019, in which Brad Pitt is hot  and drives while Leonardo DiCaprio bottoms out of Tinsel Town. Isn’t it  moving to see Sharon Tate separated from her grisly end for once? What  is the deal with Steve McQueen in this movie? Is this Tarantino’s best  movie? Maybe? Anyway, lets get back to just thinking about Brad Pitt’s  chest and face.
 

Episode 465 – Yesterday
 

We  are living in a world without The Beatles and the boys are reporting  from the field. What movie does Kate McKinnon think she is in here? Is  Night Frodo the most accurate description of Ed Sheeran’s overall vibe?  Exactly how thirsty is Lily James in the movie? Will Danny Boyle ever  make another movie that doesn’t make us collectively shrug our  shoulders? Anyway, time to invent cigarettes!
 

Episode 466 – Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

When  you are franchise-adjacent, you are family! The gang blasts off on a  shiny new cock-centric romp with The Rock and Jason Statham as the  titular juvenile killing machines out to stop Black Superman himself,  Idris Elba. How can this movie be this long? Didn’t we see almost all of  this in the trailer? Who are these people who find this prattling and  bickering amid mass bloodshed so entertaining? Are we genuinely missing  Vin Diesel? No. No, we are not.  
 

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?
 

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies  related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month:  TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't  pornography. And as a super special end of the year bonus for your  generous patrons, we're including our top 10 lists for 2019.
 

Andrew: The past few weeks I've been moving through a great new curated list on The Criterion Channel called '70s Sci-Fi.  It's a great collection of stuff I either haven't heard of or some  total classics that I'm itching to revisit. I recently checked out  Cornel Wilde's 1970 post-apocalyptic nightmare, No Blade of Grass.  It's a film about the world ending thanks to some catastrophic  environmental disaster and what happens to the survivors afterward. A  lot of the film is just this group of people wandering around looking  for a safe space to settle—it's kind of like The Walking Dead without  any zombies. Instead of the undead, we're treated to a treasure trove  of late-1960s scumbags that fuck with this group of survivors for an  hour and a half. I thought it was fine, but nothing mind blowing. I'm also excited to give Carpenter's Dark Star another  shot. The first (and only) time I saw it, I didn't know it was supposed  to be a comedy and was completely thrown by the whole vibe. Other total  recommends from this curated group are: Paul Bartel's Death Race 2000, Cronenberg's Shivers, George Miller's Mad Max, and Larry Cohen's God Told Me To. I think this list of films will finally get me around to seeing THX 1138 which is also included. Seriously, get on The Criterion Channel.
 

Oh, and see Corpus Christie when it comes out. 

 Chris: In  which I have seen all the big awards contenders and can move on from  all that nonsense and start watching only movies I actually want to  watch. Though I have nothing against them, Just Mercy and Ford v. Ferrari  didn’t do much for me, despite the former having political ideas that I  generally support. In the case of the latter, apologies to James  Mangold, but I will never get over the movie that Michael Mann almost  made out of similar material, seemingly more from Ferrari’s perspective.  I know that’s not fair, but this is what happens when you starve a  Manniac like me. Rimshot?
 

It must be said that though neither of those movies really rattled me in  any memorable way, they are gleaming masterworks compared to what I’ve  seen in 2020 thus far. It's nice to see Will Smith alive and kicking in Bad Boys For Life,  but the movie is completely batshit, and not in an entirely  entertaining way. My bet would be that this was originally set to be a  tee-up for a TV series or movie for the team that aids Smith and  Lawrence, but the box office demands a fourth one. Time is a flat  circle, etc.
 

Speaking of which, Guy Ritchie decided to make another zippy crime caper, The Gentlemen,  and it sucks. Despite being handed a cast that nearly any other  director would be able to make good hash with and a somewhat involving  competency, Ritchie has made a very saggy movie, filled with some verbal  gymnastics and almost no technical or narrative ones. If someone can  concisely explain to me what the fuck Jeremy Strong is attempting to do  in this movie, I will hand them my fortune (ream: a piece of gum and a  paper clip).
 

But hey, I also saw Kurosawa’s Red Beard, which is a humanistic  monument the likes of which I rarely get to see. Those who call it  Japanese General Hospital should be hucked into a piranha tank.
 

Eric: I remain the sole survivor of 1917  appreciation. I didn't really care about the fancy camera crap (it's  clearly not a continuous take...) I just liked that it was a story about  two people and grunt work. I guess I might have a weird appreciation  for war movies especially of this variety because when I was growing up  with my great grandmother and grandmother sharing a home with me, I'd  constantly hear "war stories" from "The Old Country." My great  grandmother was born in the 1890's so you better believe she chewed my  ear off with the horrors of WW1. Then WW2. Boy oh boy, this seems to  keep happening!    One older thing I watched this month for the first time ever was Oliver Stone's Talk Radio  from 1988 starring Eric Bogosian. I was a bit blown away by this movie.  I loved inhabiting the whole radio station and dark nights vibe it  gives off. A Private Parts type movie about a shock jock that's  not played for laughs. It's a serious movie. It's something else. I'd  say, if you haven't seen it, check it out. Also points to Talk Radio for having the stones to set a movie in Dallas. When was the last time we got to see something other than NY and LA? I guess Richard Jewell has Atlanta. So there's a start!  

Steve: As  you all know my film diet is varied between legitimate films and pure  crap and this month has been no exception. I finally caught 1917 and  I truly liked it, but I can't say that I loved it. Something felt  missing from the story to make me truly invest in the leads, which makes  it feel like a beautiful, impressive film that is left me wanting a  little bit more. It seems poised to win Best Picture and if that's the  case you won't hear many complaints from me, this is no Green Book by any stretch. I also caught the woefully ignored Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is gorgeous, moving, unique and anchored by two wonderful performances.
 

In CRAP news, if you haven't already, check out Albert Pyun's Nemesis,  streaming on Amazon Prime. Just a blast of a shitty film with a sub-Van  Damme lead that is nigh incomprehensible at parts, features impressive  cheap stunts, Thomas Jane's ass, cheap-as-fuck puppetry, and an action  sequence that takes place entirely on a water slide! BTW, if you want to  keep up on what I'm watching I'm on Letterboxd these days.
 

In book news I picked up Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by  Olga Tokarczuk, which isn't nearly as dreary as it sounds! It's the  most engaging first person narration I've read in a bit which happens to  be poetic, funny, and gloomy all at once. A perfect winter read to go  along with strong coffee or a hot toddy.     PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND     
February's entry comes from Liam from Washington D.C., who asks:
 "Piggybacking off the "hangout movie" vibes of Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood, if you could spend an afternoon in the world of any hangout movie, what would you pick?"
 

Andrew: Honestly? I'd love to hang out in the 1969 Los Angeles from OUATIH.  I've been driving around listening to the soundtrack for the past few  weeks and, while January in New York City is not summer in Los Angeles,  it just feels so... right? It feels like I'm being called home  in a weird way. Also, in keeping with my location-based hangouts, I  would of course love to hang out in the world of 1991 Los Angeles from The Big Lebowski.  I'd be more than content smoking a jay in the Dude's bungalow. Maybe  after we got the munchies we'd get in his shit-box car and hit up  In-N-Out burger for a fashion, then go roll a few frames before calling  it a night. All while anything but the Eagles is playing on the  stereo.   
 

Chris: Dazed and Confused,  without a doubt. I have always had a deep love for Richard Linklater’s  early masterpiece and I have likely watched it more than any other  movie, save for Groundhog Day and Men in Black. Not  only do I adore the overall vibe and music that he pulls out, I love the  sense that the entire evening is planned out by this loose system of  rumors and special invitations, usually powered by sex, drugs, and the  drink. And finally, as someone who has never had a flicker of interest  in cars, these cars are all dope and I would like to drive them.
 

Eric: The idea of going into a movie has been on my mind since I saw Jeff Bridges go into TRON.  I know that's a video game, but "what a picture!" to quote Mr. Schwarz.  Of all the "hangout movies" I'd want to actually personally inhabit for  an afternoon, maybe The Big Lebowski because it's LA without  the Mansons, and Nihilists I at least understand. However, if we were  SERIOUSLY going to do this and I was going to be put into a movie to  hang out. I'd probably pick the Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars because it just would transport me to a world of pure joy. Is Star Wars  a hangout movie you ask? Well, it is now. Put me in there. I'd set the  audience at ease and folks would be saying "Hey, what's that guy up to?  Let's write an entire novel about it." Then I'd read that novel about  myself. And guess what? It's a good read. It's about an aging Dewback  buster who hurts his leg and feels himself becoming more useless  everyday.  I'd also like to drink whatever Greedo grog that Waher's  surviving up. Subscribe to the $8 for the Gleep Glossay for more of my  perverse fantasies.     Steve: For  me there's two and I'm not sure either is a "hangout movie" per se, but  fuck it, what're you gonna do, arrest me? I'd love to spend a couple of  weeks hanging out with the titular Grumpy Old Men. Go ice  fishing, tell bad jokes, warm up in some flannel wallpapered guest room  and try and put the moves on Darryl Hannah, who just so happens to be  Jack Lemmon's daughter in that movie, but also wants to bang Kevin   Pollack. So, I'm pretty sure I'd have a chance there.
 

Also, I love the 1970's and city living so I would love to spend some  serious time (or the rest of my life) walking around Metropolis from  Richard Donner's Superman. One, you're smoking everywhere:  in your newspaper office, bars, bathrooms, funeral parlors, phone  booths. Everywhere. Two, you're living in the same city as Superman. And  not some psychopathic net-suited cold as fuck Snyder Superman. Actual  symbol of hope and goodness Christopher Reeve Super-Fucking-Man. Imagine  it, you're walking over to the bookstore to pick up a first printing of  Raymond Carver's Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? About to go  to your enormous apartment that costs $220 a month, aren't drowning in  student debt and you look up in the sky and there's fucking Superman.  You give him a waive, and you walk down the street not knowing jack shit  about global warming.
  

FEBRUARY SCHEDULE
 

Say  what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By  subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're  putting out in February: 
 

Episode 467 — Orphan (2009)
 

Episode 468 — Cruel Inentions with Angeilca Jade Bastién
 

Episode 469 — Teen Wolf: Live from the Hollywood Improv
 

Episode 470 — Doom (2005)
 

Patreon Episodes:
 

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — Back to the Future Part II
 

Animation Damnation — Yogi's Gang (1973): "Mister Bigot" (s1, e1)
 

The Nexus: TOS: "I, Mudd" (s2, e8) TNG: "The Royale" (s2, e12)
 

Gleep Glossary: Nien Nunb
 

Making It So: Episodes 2, 3, 4, and 5
 

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! now! 

PATREON RSS BUG
 

If  you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not  appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a  fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering  the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of  the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed  reader." 
 

Please consult this page  and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for  any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate  your continued support!    

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION
 

If you're not subscribed to our Youtube Channel you are missing out on a ton of great content, we put up our On-Screen for Star Wars: Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker (you can really see Chris struggle to keep from walking out of the studio!). We also put out great clip packages like Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis,  and many more! Like we said above these are great for sharing and  introducing folks to the show. You can also find full episodes like The Fast and the Furious, Die Hard With a Vengeance (with Jon Gabrus), and Return of the Jedi! There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already!   

This month on Hooked on TJ Hooker: Eric and Ben air out their grievances as Hooker falls in love with a corpse! Listen here!
 

Head on over to the Tee Public Store where we've got our new logo (and super cool variations like the one below) on-sale
 

That's gonna do it for this month's dispatch, thanks as always for your incredible support!
 

Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies