"What do to, what to do?" (Patreon)

[Warning: drugs, sex]

After that night Filip didn't know what to think. They've both been mixing substances, getting completely smashed and perceiving the reality in very unexpected ways. At least that's how he tried to evade the insistent thoughts of his perception about life changing. That night impacted his outlook on many things, left a giant breach in a wall he was building persistently for many many years. Would this one experience change him to the point he'll become weak and pathetic? This is how he seen other guys that had a different sexuality than him. This is what he was made to believe.
Now for the second time in his life he genuinely wasn't in control of his own emotions towards another person. But this time sex wasn't that big of a deal to him... If what they did could be called sex in the first place! That was the most scary part! For few years now sex was nothing more to him than a masturbation with the use of another person. He used girls who were just as horny as he was, never really feeling anything deeper towards them.
But now he experienced Patrick who made him see how good it feels to sometimes give up the control. Maybe it was because of the drugs, maybe this is why it felt so extremely different?
It didn't matter. Because now he was sober, yet still he couldn't stop thinking about Patrick and what they did. And just recalling it made him nervously check on his pants for the trace of a tent. How pathetic was that! And the worst part was that his adventurous one-night-stand lover  was his coworker, and he was approaching him to lit a smoke together during the work break.