Life's Not a Fairy Tale (No Matter How Much I Want It To Be) Ch.13 (Patreon)

You know… I hadn’t originally planned to capture Loona and keep her as a Companion. This trip was just supposed to be about paying off my debt. Sure, I didn’t have the same restrictions on who or what I could capture and keep as in Cyberpunk but I wasn’t anticipating that I would take advantage of it so soon. Seeing Loona stutter and awkwardly flirt with me was quickly changing my mind.

We were lucky to come across her when we did. Not even two hours had passed since Extermination Day started and already Becca, Alt, and I had bore witness to a massacre of proportions we could barely conceive. The streets of the city ran red with blood. Not in a metaphoric sense either. Actual rivers of Demon blood had formed in the streets’ gutters and the air was tinged with the smell of iron.

The situation we found Loona in was still the worst we’d come across so far — probably because she was a part of the main cast of this setting. She’d literally been hunted by the Angel I ended up capturing. Most of the other Exorcists we had seen stuck together in groups and tried to cause as much widespread death and damage as possible. It hadn’t been particularly focused, just general chaos. The fact that one had willingly separated itself from the group to stalk a single Demon was malicious cruelty, plain and simple.

It really made me question what qualified for an Angel in this world. Demons might have been ‘evil’ on the whole but these Exorcists weren’t much better in my mind. From my memories of the show, the other types of Angels were kind of the same. They used a thin facade of ‘good’ to hide that they were the same as Demons and Humans deep down. I’m sure there were good Angels out there, just as I was sure there were good Humans and good Demons too — *cough* Charlie *cough*.

Loona was captured and added to the group quite quickly. The Exorcist took longer — a whole hour compared to Loona’s 10 minutes — and I sold it off as soon as the capture was complete. I gathered its weapons to add to my collection though. The Angelic Weapons counted as technology so I was able to recreate them with my smartmatter. Magitech was a sort of gray area for my heritage but if it worked, it worked.

“So… Uh, what now?” Loona asked after the Exorcist that hunted her disappeared with its sale. She was still pretty awkward around me and it was damn adorable. I was kind of hoping she never got over her awkwardness.

“We continue doing what we came here to do,” I said.

Loona chuckled awkwardly, “Yeah, heh, cool… What was that again?”

I smirked at her, knowing she had been a bit… distracted by my Lures when I explained it the first time, “We’re here to pay off a debt. To do that, we’re capturing ‘targets’ so we can sell them to some Patrons of mine. It’s basically just kidnapping and interdimensional slavery. There’s more to it than that and I try to only capture targets I think don’t deserve a second chance. That’s the gist of it though. I hope that won’t be a problem?”

“Dude…” Loona snorted, “My dad and I kill people for a living. I’m not about to get on your case about morals or whatever. Also… literally a Demon here.”

I smiled brightly at her, “I don’t care that you’re a Demon. You have just as much potential for good as anyone else in my mind. Still, it’s good to hear you don’t have any objections because you’ve pretty much been conscripted to our cause.”

Loona’s blush at my honest praise was bright enough to be seen through her fur, “N-No problem, d-dude… Coolio… U-Uh, I mean! I’m totally cool with helping you out and junk!… N-No need for all that s-sappy stuff…”

“What, don’t like me calling you a good girl?” I asked and chuckled, watching Loona’s tail wagging behind her despite how much she tried to hide it.

I reached out for her, patting and stroking her hair. Loona instantly relaxed and melted into my touch. She pushed back into my hand as I used Sticky Fingers to find all her best spots.

“O-Ohhhhhh fuckkkk…” she moaned under her breath. “I could get used to this. Why does his hand feel so good?”

Her foot thumped against the floor when I scratched behind her ear, which was enough to snap her back to her senses and jump back, trying to play it off with an adorable, awkward laugh, “Haha… w-wild, bro… Anyway! We should probably do the thing! The… thing…”

I let her change the subject, “Sure, love. We need a place to start though. Since you’re a native, maybe you can help us with that.”

“Yes!… Uh, I mean,” Loona coughed, “Yeah, that’s cool. L-Let me just think for a second.”

“Awwww, choom, can’t we just keep flatlining these Angel fuckers?” Becca whined.

“We could,” I nodded. “But it would just be a waste of time. It’s not like we’d make a huge difference and we don’t want to even if we could. Extermination Day is a thing in this universe for a reason, no matter how cruel and barbaric it is. And since we already sold one Exorcist, capturing more will only give us diminishing returns. It’s better to spread our attention elsewhere and diversify our selection.”

Becca pouted, “Fine… I’m not gonna stop killing them while we do other things though.”

“I know,” I chuckled. “I didn’t expect anything less from you.”

My murder-loli’s smile was wide and a bit manic, just as I’d come to love. She whipped a pair of pistols out from wherever she was storing them within her Shroud, quickly checking them over. They returned to their hiding place and she whipped out Guts, her Budget Arms Carnage, next. Since we left Cyberpunk so suddenly, Becca couldn’t take her weapons with her. I took the liberty of replacing her growing arsenal when we got to Hell and so far, I wasn’t regretting that decision one bit. Turns out, hot lead does damage to Angels and Sinners just like Humans. Not enough to kill, but enough to put them down so we could get in close with our Shrouds and finish them off.

A hissing curse from Loona brought my attention back to the Demon doggo, “Ah fuck… Can we go get my dad, Blitzo? He’s almost definitely in trouble right now and would probably appreciate being bailed out. And as much as I hate to admit it, Moxxie is much better at this planning shit than me.”

I nodded, “That can be arranged. Any idea where he is?”

“I can probably sniff him out pretty easily,” Loona said, shrugging. “I’ve got a good nose like that.”

“I’ve already located the phone of a Demon named Blitz(o),” Alt spoke up for the first time in the conversation. “It’s not far from here. Just follow my directions.”

The static-y, disembodied, digital voice startled Loona but she settled down when Alt allowed her digital form to become visible, “O-Oh… That makes things easy then… It’s not like I wanted to be useful or anything…”

“You’re plenty useful, love. We wouldn’t know where to start without you. And I’m sure you’ll prove yourself to be ‘best girl’ soon enough. Just get used to your Shroud and follow your instincts. I’m sure you’ll be a natural,” I reassured Loona.

“H-Haha, y-yeah… best girl…” Loona barked a nervous laugh before mumbling something under her breath. “Fuck, why does that make me so hard. Calm down, you stupid useless dick!”

“Have you tried your Shroud yet?” I asked, acting like I hadn’t heard what she was muttering.

Loona fiddled with her silver hair, “Huh? Oh, uh, n-no… Should I?”

“You should. It’ll make you more powerful and depending on your element, you might even be able to stand up to an Exorcist. And who doesn’t want to fly?” I said firmly, finishing with a bit of a smirk on my face.

“Oh… How-” Loona asked before interrupting herself. “Uh, never mind. I figured it out.”

Her physical body seemed to ripple and writhe as her Shroud asserted itself and overlaid its magical fabric over her form. Loona’s element soon made itself clear. The fact that the Shroud took on her Demonic nature was utterly unsurprising. Her outfit went up in wisps of Hellfire, briefly baring her body to the world before it was replaced by a simple but elegantly tailored suit.

‘Huh,’ I thought, my eyes focusing on the erect cock and balls I’d just seen between Loona’s legs and the now-noticeable bulge that rested under her clothes there. ‘That’s a nice little bonus. Well, not so ‘little’ but still very nice.’

Loona blushed and whined softly when she noticed me staring, “Oh fuck, did he see? Does he know how hard he makes me?”

I simply smiled and changed the subject, “Very nice. I like the new fit. It really brings out the Demonic in you. And the way it hugs your ass is a work of art.”

“M-My ass!…” Loona squeaked. “Y-Yeah! It t-totally is! I-I can show you it… if you want…”

“I’ll hold you to that~” I teased. “For now, though, we should get back to work. Debts don’t pay off themselves.”

Millie

“Well… this is certainly a pickle,” Moxxie, her darling, muttered.

Looking at the sizeable group of Sinners who had her, Moxxie, and Blitzo surrounded, Millie had to agree with her husband. She didn’t say it though, wanting to keep the mood up.

“Aww, don’t be like that, Moxxie! I’m sure the bossman has a plan!” Millie said optimistically.

Moxxie glanced at Blitzo out of the corner of his eye, “Yeah… For some reason, that doesn’t fill me with confidence.”

Millie followed his gaze and suppressed a wince. Yeah, things could definitely be better. Blitzo’s current situation didn’t do much to inspire faith. Their boss was backed up against a wall not far from them, with a group of angry, opportunistic Sinners crowded around him. The Sinners all wielded weapons of some type and by the looks of things, wouldn’t be letting the three of them out of here alive and untouched.

This all started only a couple of hours ago when Blitzo proposed the idea of advertising during Extermination Day. Millie thought it was a great idea! Her darling wasn’t so keen. Still, Moxxie had reluctantly gone along with it after Millie promised to top him how he liked when they got back. Despite the danger of their situation, Millie couldn’t suppress a shiver of anticipation. She couldn’t wait to get back home and peg her boi until he couldn’t sit right!

At first, everything went decently well… At least, in Millie’s opinion. They had to avoid a few Exorcists here and there but had mostly stuck to the edge of all the chaos. The only real thing they had to worry about were the other Demons. And they were easily taken care of by Millie and her darling. Then they got separated from their Hellhound. Things went downhill from there…

Blitzo, of course, had almost immediately flipped out when Loona was separated from the group. He blew a gasket and went straight into that ‘doting-father’ mood of his. They tried to call Loona, but none of their phones could get a signal because of the Extermination. Blitzo’s attempts to find his adopted daughter then resorted to running around the city like a chicken with its head cut off.

At some point during that frantic search, Blitzo ran into a large group of Sinners that had huddled together for safety in numbers. Personally, Millie thought that was a pipe dream. If you couldn’t look out for yourself, you were as good as dead on Extermination Day.

A few of the Sinners recognized Blitzo. Apparently, they’d been killed by I.M.P at some point and that was how they ended up in Hell. They were understandably ticked off. Their anger quickly spread to the rest of the Sinners and soon enough, Blitzo had a certified mob on his hands. Moxxie and Millie caught up not long after and the mob’s metaphorical pitchforks were turned onto them as well.

The Sinners might not have been individually skilled but quantity had a quality of its own. There were a lot of them and some of them were even armed with Angelic spears that the Exorcists had discarded. Despite her cheerful nature, Millie was well aware of the realities of their situation. And she was more than ready to fight to get her boys out of there.

Her darling, always the sweetheart, tried to give the Sinners one last out, “You guys sure you don’t want to just let us go?”

“Fuck you, pipsqueak!” one of the Sinners yelled. “You’re the one that killed us! This is your fault! Let’s see how you like dying, you little pansy fuck!”

Millie’s focus tunnel-visioned on the bull-like Sinner and an angry frown formed on her face. The fuck did he just call her darling!?… Oh, she… Yeah, those were tits, not pecs. Damn, that was one ugly bitch. Even fuming as she was, she felt a little bad for the cow. A cruel grin grew across Millie’s face. She’d just have to do the bitch a favor and rearrange her face for her. No one called her MoxxieWoxxie a pansy except for Millie!… And even then only in the bedroom when Moxxie wanted to indulge in his humiliation kink.

The Sinners around the cow joined her jeers and shouts like sheep. The mob mentality was strong with this crowd. The cow brandished an Angelic spear like it was a club, accidentally sending another Sinner to the ground without an arm. The mob kept advancing, pushing Moxxie and Millie into a situation similar to Blitzo’s.

“Mox, throw me.”

Moxxie’s back went rigid at Millie’s order. He knew what it meant when she took that tone. He swallowed nervously and Millie saw him subtly adjust the front of his pants. She smirked internally. Moxxie’s subby boner would have to wait though. She grabbed her husband’s hands with both of hers. The mob seemingly ignored what the pair was doing, pressing forward with no idea of how much danger they were in.

She gave Moxxie a grin and wink. Already knowing what to do, Moxxie spun her around and whipped her into the crowd. Millie soared over the mob, reorienting herself in mid-air. Her claws glinted in the light, bared and ready alongside her fangs. Before anyone in the mob could react, Millie landed on the face of the cow who insulted her darling.

The result was… not pretty to say the least. The cow screamed bloody murder as Millie tore into her face with reckless rage. Flesh and blood flew through the air, landing amongst the dumbstruck mob. It was over just as suddenly as it started. The cow fell dead to the ground, her body still twitching. Millie stood atop the corpse with the cow’s Angelic spear in her hand, turning to the rest of the crowd with an eerie and malicious smile.

“Who’s next?” Millie twanged with her tail swishing back and forth like a whip behind her.

The numerous nervous gulps Millie saw only made her grin grow wider and crueler. The mob never got the chance to run or respond. In a flash, Millie was upon them, savagely tearing through their ranks with the spear. She heard the telltale bangs of shotgun fire from over by Blitzo but put it out of her mind in favor of permanently putting down the mob. Sinners fell like blades of grass in front of her new Demon-reaping spear.

Eventually, Millie spun to a stop, her spear whipping out to taste blood that wasn’t there. The miss jolted her out of her murderous rage. She blinked and looked around at the pile of bodies she now stood on top of. Her eyes found Moxxie. He gave her a thumbs-up and a smile that warmed Millie’s heart and made her giggle. Moxxie pointed over to where Blitzo should have been.

When Millie’s gaze followed Moxxie’s finger, she saw a scene that was eerily similar to hers. A nearly identical pile of bodies sat in front of her boss. And atop that pile of bodies was an odd-looking Demon woman with a manic grin on her face that Millie recognized from the mirror. Considering the many bullet holes in the corpses beneath her, Millie absently noted that the woman was the source of the shotgun shots.

Millie locked eyes with the woman and a sort of understanding passed between them. Both of their smiles grew wider. She was short like Millie. Maybe another Imp? But her skin color and features were all wrong. She had pale, almost ashen skin and no tail or horns. She certainly had the right temperament for an Imp though. Daddy would love her.

Then a man swooped down from somewhere to land next to the woman. His arrival made the woman break eye contact with Millie and turn to her possible Companion with an even brighter smile. The man was handsome, all studly with a calm energy that contrasted nicely with the woman’s murderous enthusiasm, and shared many of the odd features with the woman. His skin was darker, a rich, almost caramel that looked like it would taste delicious on her and Moxxie’s tongues, and like the woman, he lacked horns, a tail, or any other mutation common amongst Sinners. He looked almost… Human. But that was impossible, right?

“Romeo! Did you see that shit, baby?! I felt like I went full cyberpsycho on those gonks! 30 Demons flatlined in like 30 seconds! Without a combat drug in sight!” the woman said, jumping into her Companion’s arms and kissing all over his face as she rambled.

Millie’s already good impression of the woman shot up even higher. She was a woman after her own heart. She had a man she was very obviously in love with and she got the same after-battle horniness that Millie got. They reminded Millie of her and Moxxie, though admittedly the man was sexier than her husband. She’d still choose her hubby any day of the week but that didn’t mean she couldn’t window shop and talk to Moxxie about ‘buying’ when they were alone later.

Loona soon joined the pair of strangers and Millie realized that they’d all flown here. Or at least Loona and the man did. She was a bit busy when the woman made her entrance so Millie couldn’t say for sure that she could fly as well. That was another point to them not being Humans though. They must’ve been just a couple of weird-looking Demons.

“Loony, My Baby! You’re safe!” Blitzo cried, forcing himself up from where the mob had crowded him to the ground and leaping at his adopted daughter.

Loona growled and stiff-armed Blitzo mid-flight, “Fuck off, Dad! This whole thing is your fault, to begin with!”

Millie stood off to the side, watching the ‘touching’ family reunion. She giggled when Moxxie was pulled into it by Blitzo as well. Whatever Loona had gone through seemed to have mellowed her out a bit because she barely snarled at Moxxie at all! That was a nice development. Millie wasn’t the Hellhound’s biggest fan but that was mostly because of how she treated Moxxie.

At some point, the woman sidled over to Millie without her noticing, “Hey, nice killing back there. I’m Becca. It’s nice to meet a fellow woman of culture like you.”

Becca’s words startled Millie a bit, “What? Oh! Howdy! I’m Millie. The other Imp over there is my husband, Moxxie, and the taller one is our boss, Blitzo. The ‘O’ is silent. You seem to have met Loona already.”

“What ‘O’?” Becca asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.

“Thank you!” Blitzo shouted, somehow hearing Becca’s question from over with the others before going back to babying Loona.

“Right… forget I asked,” Becca said with a chuckle.

“Good choice,” Millie drawled. “I’d compliment your killing as well but I was a bit too preoccupied to watch.”

Becca’s manic smile returned to her face and Millie couldn’t prevent a similar smile from spreading across her face as well, “Thanks! It’s the thought that counts. I’m loving this whole Extermination Day thing! I don’t get to completely let loose like this often. It’s a blast!”

“First time? Congratulations, you’re a natural!”

“You know it, choom! Hell doesn’t stand a chance!”

Becca held a cocky pose for a few seconds before she and Millie burst into simultaneous giggles. They naturally fell into positions that supported each other as they laughed away the after-battle adrenaline. When they stopped, they were leaning together with one of each of their arms around the other’s shoulders.

Millie wiped a tear from her eye, “I think we’re going to be good friends, Becca.”

Becca grinned mischievously, “Just wait until I convince you and your husband to give my mainline a ride. You’ll never want us to leave!”

Blitzo (the ‘O’ is silent!)

Despite his outward easy nature, Blitzo was watching the strangers who saved his Loona very closely. Was he thankful for them rescuing Loona from what would have been certain death? Yes, of course. Was he also still suspicious of them? Uh, duh. They came out of nowhere and the fact that Loona was absolutely smitten with the guy, Romeo, didn’t help either.

Mox and Mills seemed to be warming up to them quickly, but Blitzo couldn’t bring himself to trust them so easily. Not when his Loony’s happiness was at stake. Oh sure, they were both hot as sin and that shortstack bitch could murder with the best of them. But that didn’t mean he’d let that Human-looking motherfucker get his stupid, hunky hands on Loona’s heart. It might have already been too late though…

“A vacation?” Blitzo gasped as if he’d been shot.

“Yeah, after Extermination Day is over,” Loona shrugged. “I think I deserve it after all the shit you put us through. Don’t make me remind you that this whole thing was your idea.”

Blitzo’s lip quivered, “B-But what would you do? Where would you go? What would we do without you?”

“I don’t care!” Loona said, throwing up her hands. “Just because you adopted me doesn’t mean you get to rule my life! I-I just need a break and Romeo and Becca have been nice enough to offer me a place to stay and things to do.”

“That pretty boy isn’t good enough for my daughter!”

“You don’t even know him! At least spend some time with him before saying something like that.”

“Fine! Maybe I will!”

“Fine! I’ll ask him if we can bring you guys along. Romeo was planning on kidnapping the V Overlords next anyway. But you can’t stay!”

“Fine! Let’s go kidnap the… Wait, what?” All the steam Blitzo had built up disappeared as his mind caught up to what was said.

Loona smirked at him, “Yeah, you heard me. Think you’re up for it, ~old man~?”

Blitzo quickly regained his bluster, “Who do you think you’re calling old, young lady!? I stole a grimoire from the Goetia! I think I can handle a few jumped-up Sinners.”

“Yeah, a Goetia that you’re fucking,” Loona scoffed.

“Not important!” Blitzo shouted, pointing an accusing finger at his daughter. “Why are you guys even kidnapping Overlords in the first place?”

“Interdimensional slavery,” Loona said, shrugging.

Blitzo blinked, “Interdimensional slavery?”

“Interdimensional slavery,” Loona confirmed.

“Huh… Maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all,” Blitzo mumbled to himself. Loona sent him a smug smirk and he was instantly back up in arms. “That doesn’t mean I trust him! Look at him! He probably runs a homeless shelter with the money he earns from slavery. Fuckin’ gold-hearted bastard…”

Loona rolled her eyes, “Whatever, Blitzo. You coming or not?”

“Of course I am! I’m not going to leave you with someone as nice as that! What if he reverse-corrupts you!? What if you start…” Blitzo paused and shuddered. “Volunteering?…”

Loona sighed to hide the fond chuckle that she wanted to reply with, “I think you’re overreacting. But thanks… for looking out for me… Dad.”

“Everyone ready?” Romeo walked up and asked, ignoring the subtle hiss Blitzo sent his way.

Loona’s blushing stutter made Blitzo hiss even more, “Y-Yeah, we’re good. Actually, can Blitzo and M&M come with us?”

Romeo looked at Loona for a couple of seconds like he was staring straight into her soul, making her blush brighter and making Blitzo bristle, before he smiled and replied, “Yeah, I don’t see why not. I don’t expect this to be very difficult. We’ve got the advantage of surprise and… other things on our side. I doubt they’ll even slow us down.”

“Worry about yourself, bucko,” Blitzo hissed. “We’ll be fine.”

Romeo easily shrugged off Blitzo’s hostility, “If you say so. I’ll go round up the others. Loona, you good to carry your pops?”

“Carry?” Blitzo scoffed as Loona nodded. “These ‘old’ legs still work fine, asshole.”

“Ugh, shut up, Dad. You’re embarrassing me,” Loona sighed, picking Blitzo up by the scruff of his neck and holding him in the air.

Blitzo squirmed and struggled a bit before going limp like a cat. He pouted up at his daughter but she wasn’t even looking at him anymore. Blitzo followed her gaze and found himself looking at Romeo’s ass. He rolled his eyes and pouted some more.

The sound of Millie squealing with excitement reached his ears. Blitzo looked over to see his shortstack enforcer jumping onto the back of another shortstack, Becca. She was practically vibrating and giggling with the other murder-happy midget. A squeak pulled his attention over to where Romeo had swept Moxxie up into a princess carry. The femboy Imp was blushing bright enough that it showed even on his red skin.

‘What a bottom,’ Blitzo thought, rolling his eyes at the scene.

“Alright, girls,” Romeo said. “We’re off.”

All carrying someone, Romeo, Becca, and Loona started to rise into the air as one. Blitzo did a doubletake, looking between his daughter and the ground getting farther away from them. That was… new.

“Since when can you fly?!” Blitzo asked in disbelief.

“Since Romeo,” Loona simply replied before going back to ignoring him.

They flew over the chaos of Pentagram City, practically brushing the pentagram above. Blood and death painted the city below them. Dark smoke rose in pillars of ash from various fires and explosions. The death cries of Sinners reached their ears. An Exorcist even peeled off from the main group to go after them but a flare of light from Romeo sent it reeling away before it got too close.

The light passed, leaving Blitzo feeling like he’d just taken a long, relaxing bath. Like all his worries and fears for Loona were temporarily washed away. Like he could just Hope, sit back, and watch her grow. Like the light had filled the cracks of some long broken and empty hole inside him.

Blitzo watched the light have a similar effect on Moxxie and Millie. Loona, it seemed, was already used to whatever magic Romeo could do. She didn’t perk up like the rest of I.M.P but she did sigh and send Romeo a certain type of look. Blitzo grumbled at that. His little girl was growing up so quickly. Sure, she was 17 and 11 months old when he adopted her but it was the thought that counts! It seemed like he couldn’t do anything to stop it and Blitzo wasn’t even sure he wanted to stop it anymore…

Loona could certainly do worse than a guy who could drive off Exorcists after all. And if this little Overlord kidnapping detour was any indication, his mind was in the right place as well. It wasn’t killing people but kidnapping and interdimensional slavery were respectable professions in Hell. Judging by the ‘interdimensional’ part of that, Romeo also had a method of getting to the living world at least. Maybe even a way to get to Heaven as well. Blitzo was quickly running out of reasons to protest.

He was so caught up in the introspection that Romeo’s light had caused that he almost didn’t notice them arriving at their destination. Loona coming to a sudden stop in mid-air brought Blitzo out of his head. He looked up to find them hovering outside of the penthouse of Valentino’s Porn Studios. Blitzo could see the three V Overlords through the office building’s pink-tinted, wall-length windows. No one said anything. Moxxie and Millie looked like they were in shock that they were really doing this and Romeo and Becca looked laser-focused on their goal.

Eventually, Blitzo got tired of the silence, “So… what’s the plan? I say we go in there guns blazing. After today, I could use some R&R, and shooting up a bunch of whores in a porn studio sounds right up my alley!”

Loona snorted but didn’t say anything. Romeo hummed, “Hmm, I have a better idea. Alt? You know what to do?… Try going after the one with the computer for a head. For some reason, I think that’s where you’ll be most effective… Yeah, we’ll be right behind you. We just need you to provide the initial distraction and get the heaviest hitter out of the way for us.”

“Wha-?…” Blitzo sputtered. “Who the fuck are you talking to?”

“Just watch and wait. You’ll see,” Romeo said, nodding toward the window.

Blitzo turned back to the window skeptically. Nothing had changed. Vox, Velvette, and Valentino were still just sitting there, dead to the chaos going on outside their building. They were, respectively, a computer-faced Demon in a dapper suit, a clown-Demon chick who was even crazier than she looked, and a pimp-looking Demon straight out of the 80s. Velvette, the clown chick, leaned onto Vox, the computer Demon, holding her Voxphone up to take a selfie. Something about the scene changed when the shutter on Velvette’s phone clicked and the flash flashed.

All of a sudden, Vox went rigid. Velvette recoiled and leaped away in surprise. Vox began to seize and glitch, with little arcs of lightning shooting uncontrollably out of his body and head. The screen that was his face showed static and disparate colors. Then Vox doubled over like he was throwing up and something poured out of his screen/face.

That something coalesced in a wave of ones and zeros. It all seemed to stream together, building a humanoid form from the ground up. The intruder stretched, her form flickering into clarity to reveal what looked to be a Human. She had shoulder-length blonde hair and statuesque features. Her skin-tight white bodysuit flashed with lines of code before suddenly exploding outward.

The other two Overlords in the room never had a chance to react. One second everything was fine. Then their friend and companion had a digital seizure. Not even a second later, some stranger appeared from Vox’s body and something shot out of her to engulf the TV Demon. Once the strange woman started to consume Vox, Romeo and Becca sprang into action.

Blitzo didn’t even notice that Loona was now holding Moxxie and Millie until Romeo and Becca burst through the window without the couple in their hands. They flew forward so fast that it looked like they teleported. Only the shattering of glass betrayed that idea. The next thing Blitzo saw from the two of them was Romeo and Becca standing in front of the other two Overlords in the room with the same something stretching out to consume.

And still, neither Overlord had processed things enough to react. They just stood there with dumbfounded looks on their faces while they were swallowed whole. Becca’s something looked a lot like the mystery woman’s. Romeo’s, though, was reminiscent of that flare of light from earlier.

“Uh, Sweetie… Did you know about this?” Blitzo asked Loona.

Loona nodded, “Yeah, pretty cool, right?”

“It’s, uh… certainly something,” Blitzo muttered.

Back in the penthouse, Romeo, Becca, and the mystery woman stood casually in front of three Demon-sized cocoons. Romeo checked to make sure their captives were secure before waving Loona in. Loona followed Romoe’s gesture, flying through the broken window and setting everyone down in the room. She then hovered over to Romeo and introduced herself to the mystery woman.

“Alt Cunningham,” the woman greeted her back. “You heard about me earlier but it’s good to meet you face to face. These three’s capture should be finished in an hour so we have plenty of time to get to know each other. I understand you’ll be accompanying us for the foreseeable future?…”

Loona and Alt stepped off to the side with the cocoon containing Vox following close behind them. Millie grabbed her husband and skipped over to Becca. The pair of women immediately started talking at a mile a minute while Moxxie was pulled along for the ride. With everyone else occupied, Blitzo grumbled and made his way over to Romeo.

“So… that was pretty slick for a youngin…” Blitzo begrudgingly admitted. “I guess Loona can take her… vacation with you guys.”

Romeo hummed, “Thanks... You know, you’re a pretty broken person, Blitzo.”

“Who the fuck?-” Blitzo bristled. “You think you’re better than me or something?!”

“Nope,” Romeo said, popping the ‘p’ and shrugging off Blitzo’s sudden hostility. “Not judging, just pointing it out. You seem to think you can control the lives of the people you love. That you deserve more of their time than you really do. It’s a very one-sided arrangement.

“And from what I’ve seen, you struggle with personal connection as well. Your relationship with Loona is… not ideal but at least you’re trying there. That’s more than I can say for some of your other relationships.”

“H-How…” Blitzo stuttered and then yelled. “You don’t know me!”

Romeo ignored him and pressed on, “So I have a question. Why don’t you try when it comes to Stolas?”

“T-That’s none of your business!”

“It is. Your relationship with your Goetia boss/lover affects your happiness, which affects Loona’s happiness in turn. I’ve come to care about Loona so I wanted to confront your issues before they begin to infect Loona’s happy ending.

“In truth, we’re all broken people. Me, you, Alt, Stolas, Loona… The most well-adjusted of us are Moxxie and Millie. Even Becca can be considered well-adjusted if you squint enough and that’s setting the bar pretty damn low. But I believe our trauma shouldn’t affect our chances at a happy ending. That’s why I’m bringing this up.

“I get that your relationship with Stolas is complicated. But he cares about you. He really does. You know he’s loved you since you were kids, right? And I think, deep down, you’ve come to care about him too. The least you could do is make an effort. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. At least you’d be able to say you tried. A chance at happiness is always worth fighting for…”

“Just think about it,” Romeo said before walking off to join Moxxie, Millie, and Becca.

Romeo’s words left Blitzo feeling lost and he was sure it was showing on his face. It was like sucker-punch after sucker-punch to his heart. Was he really so transparent that a stranger could dissect him like that after only a couple of minutes together? And the worst part was that Blitzo couldn’t find a way to refute Romeo’s points. He fell onto the couch in a daze and just sat there thinking until they had to leave…