Life's Not a Fairy Tale (No Matter How Much I Want It To Be) Ch.14 (Patreon)

Octavia

Stella scoffed, “Satan, you’re just like that stupid, limp-dicked father of yours, Octavia. I had hoped that you would have gotten the proper genes of a Goetia but it seems I was poorly mistaken. Though I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re as much of a lost cause as this whole arranged marriage. What a shame…”

“Don’t talk to my daughter like that!” Stolas yelled, his shadow growing with his rage.

“Yes… she is your daughter, isn’t she?” Stella sneered.

Octavia shrank in on herself. Even after years of fighting, she never really got used to it. She’d learned to mostly ignore it but sometimes she was dragged into a fight between her parents, usually by her mother. At those times, she found that it was impossible to ignore and all she could do was make herself as small as possible to avoid attention. And this time, that strategy wasn’t working.

It was still Extermination Day but you wouldn’t know that from inside Stolas’ palace. The Exorcists didn’t dare come here and neither of the two residents ceased their endless fighting for the occasion. Words and objects thrown by Stella mimicked the chaos outside. Not that Octavia would know much about the chaos of Extermination Day. She’d thankfully been sheltered from that unsightly part of Hell. That, at least, was one thing her parents could agree on.

This particular fight had started over something mind-numbingly stupid. Stella’s weekly tea party had been canceled, for obvious reasons, and to top it off, the mansion was out of wine. To be honest, Octavia thought her mother had just started the fight because she was bored. Seriously, who planned a tea party on Extermination Day and why did she expect anyone to risk their lives to get some bitch more wine? But thanks to the lack of alcohol in particular, the fight had quickly devolved into name-calling and toxic vitriol from Stella directed at anyone in view.

Stolas’ voice took on a dual-toned, guttural quality, “I think you should leave…”

“What, so you can keep influencing the girl into being a cheating, Imp-fucking scumbag like you?” Stella waved her hand dismissively. “Puh-lease, Stolas, we both know she needs a mother more than she needs… whatever you are…”

Something inside Octavia snapped at those words and she spoke up for the first time since the fight started, “Fuck you, bitch! I can’t believe I ever had any respect for you at all! Bltizo is more of a mother than you! At least he spends time with Dad. You haven’t spared either of us a moment of your time that wasn’t for yelling or fighting for my entire life!”

Being compared to the Imp Stolas was cheating on her with had Stella sputtering in rage, “Y-You no good, d-dirty tart! How dare you talk to your mother like that!? I swear no one in this poor excuse for a family has any class except for me! Hmph, I should see you disciplined until you learn to respect your betters.”

“If you touch a single feather on my daughter’s head, I will end you…” Stolas growled, flickering in and out of his full Demon form.

The practically visible anger radiating off of Stolas made Stella flinch and take an involuntary step back. Her dumb confidence quickly rebounded. She drew herself back up and poked a finger into Stolas’ face.

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t coddle the girl so damn much, Stolas,” Stella ranted. “Her poor temperament for a proper Goetia is entirely your fault! What would your venerable father think if he saw her and you now?!”

Stolas clearly struggled to control himself, “You’re right. It is my fault. Because you weren’t a part of her life! As for my father, I couldn’t care less! Neither of you has any say in how I raise my child! So shove that stick further up your ass and get out!”

Stella shook with rage and indignation, “And where do you expect me to go?! If you haven’t noticed, Stolas, there is a Satan-damned war going on outside! My brother shall hear of this!”

Stolas deflated and almost slumped, “I don’t care where you go. I just need you out of my sight. I am beyond done with you and your bullshit, Stella… Oh, and tell Andrealphus to suck my cock.”

“Aaaggh!” Stella screamed her dissatisfaction.

She seemed to realize that Stolas was done arguing though. She stomped her foot and stormed out but not before throwing one last thing at her ex-husband and daughter. The vase shattered into hundreds of pieces against the wall beside Stolas’ head. Stolas didn’t even flinch, just summoning a shadow to catch the shards of pottery and handing them off to a waiting servant. He let out a ragged sigh and collapsed into a seat.

“Dad?” Octavia asked, hesitantly reaching out a hand for her father.

“Oh, my dear Owlette, I’m so sorry you had to see that,” Stolas said, grabbing her and pulling her into a tight hug.

Octavia couldn’t help but relax into her dad’s warm embrace, “It’s okay, Dad. I’m used to it…”

“And that’s the problem, Via. You shouldn’t be used to it. It’s a failure of both of us as parents, especially when we drag you into our fights.”

She shrugged in her father’s arms, “Eh, what can you do? It’s not like she’ll just up and disappear…”

They could hear Stella stomping around, screaming, and breaking stuff from deeper in the house. There was the sound of breaking glass and Stella screamed extra loud before going silent. Even the stomping disappeared in an instant. Stolas let out an exasperated sigh.

“Will one of you go check on her? I am doing something much more important right now,” Stolas said, addressing the few servants lurking at the room’s edge. One of them nodded and started walking in Stella’s direction.

“Let’s hope she managed to trip and off herself,” Stolas absently muttered.

Octavia suppressed a giggle, “Pfft… C’mon, Dad, don’t even joke about that kind of stuff. It’s ‘unbecoming of a Goetia’.”

Stolas barked a laugh at Octavia’s impression of her mother, “Ha! Yes, quite… I wouldn’t want to disgrace the family name.”

“I don’t think you can disgrace the family name any more than you already do, Dad,” Octavia said as her giggles burst through her impression. “But who cares what they think? They’ll never be happy no matter what you do. I say screw them.”

Stolas hummed, “Indeed… I’ve given ‘the family name’ some of the best years of my life and gotten not a scrap of gratitude in return. But you make it all worth it. You’re the only thing from that family that I truly treasure, my little Owlette.”

Octavia buried her face in her father’s plumage to hide her blush, “… I love you too, Dad.”

They sat like that in silence for a little while, enjoying each other’s presence in a way they weren’t normally able to. Octavia felt something that might have been happiness settle into her breast. She had missed her dad’s hugs. A normal family may have been a pipe dream but at least she had one parent who cared for her.

Their cuddle time was eventually interrupted by the servant from earlier returning, “Sir? The mistress seems to have gotten herself into a… predicament. I believe you will want to come and see it for yourself.”

“Is that necessary? Can’t you see I’m busy?” Stolas huffed.

The servant bowed, “My apologies but I’m afraid I must insist.”

Stolas slowly disengaged himself from Octavia, “… Very well. Where is she?”

“In the foyer, Sir.”

Octavia curiously followed her father as he got up and walked out of the room. This was certainly a bit odd. Usually, the servants knew better than to interrupt her time with Dad. Whatever Stella had done must have been decently serious. Octavia wasn’t a bad person if she took just a bit of joy in that idea, right? Whatever she expected did not prepare her for the reality of the situation though.

Under a grand and gaudy chandelier that Stella bought, stood two people. Octavia recognized one of them as Blitzo, boss of I.M.P and Stolas’ lover. The other was a stranger. He was young, probably about the same age as Loona, and very nice to look at. He had this aura about him that made her think everything was going to be okay for some reason. If Octavia didn’t have so much going on in her life, she might have wanted a boyfriend like him. She especially liked those piercing eyes that seemed to shift color in the light.

The most shocking thing about the scene, though, was the Demon-sized cocoon of white light that hovered in front of the stranger. It was connected to him by a thin strand of the same light so Octavia assumed he was the one responsible for it. It sat there, floating by the stranger while the occasional weak thump resounded from inside.

“Blitzy?” Stolas asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

“Stolas! Heyyyyy… Happy early divorce?” Blitzo said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Octavia blinked. She’d never seen the Imp act nervous.

“Why don’t you give your lover the good news, Blitzo? I’ll tell our resident teenager,” the stranger offered, laying a reassuring hand on Blitzo’s shoulder.

Blitzo took a fortifying breath and stepped up to Stolas. Octavia and Stolas both cocked their heads to the side slightly in a bird-like manner. It was odd to see the normally bombastic Imp acting like this. The stranger walked up to Octavia and introduced himself.

“Hi. I’m Romeo. Blitzo and I met earlier today and I figured I’d help him get his happy ending. I already had a talk with him about his feelings for your dad. What I just did should help their relationship as well.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow, “Octavia. And what did you just do?”

“I should have brought Loona with me to help break the news,” Romeo winced and muttered. “I, uh, eliminated your mother from the equation.”

Octavia’s other eyebrow joined her first, “You killed my mother?”

Romeo hurried to deny that, “No, no, no, not killed. She’s still alive in there. Just… she won’t be bothering you or your father anymore.”

“Oh… cool. Thanks for that I guess,” Octavia said after thinking for a moment.

He was visibly surprised by her plain acceptance, “Wow… I think I was underestimating how shit of a mom Stella was…”

Octavia snorted, “You obviously didn’t hear the fight we just had. I’m sure I’ll need even more therapy because of you but considering what my life has become? That’s not saying much.”

“Do… Do you need a hug?” Romeo asked with sincerity that Octavia didn’t expect from someone who just ‘removed’ her mother.

She glanced over at where Blitzo and her father were having a similar conversation. Then she glanced back into those sharp, expressive, and most of all caring eyes. An idea made a mischievous smile grow on Octavia’s face. One that she knew Stella would hate.

“Yes… Yes, I think I would,” Octavia said slowly. “Any way you can make sure she sees this? Watching her daughter hug anyone who isn’t ‘high-class’ would drive the bitch wild.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Romeo chuckled.

He held his arms open and Octavia sunk into the embrace with a sigh. Behind her, though she couldn’t see, a hole opened up in the cocoon and Stella’s muffled protests could be heard. But once she was in Romeo’s arms, Octavia found herself not paying her ex-mother a second thought. He was so warm. It felt so right. Like everything was okay and that the future would always get better. It reminded her of a simpler time, a time when she still had Hope for a normal family…

Octavia’s hand came up behind her and she flicked off her ex-mother. The smothered screams of indignation made her giggle into Romeo’s chest. It was surprisingly easy for Octavia to start thinking of her life without Stella in it. Her parents were already getting a divorce. The only thing that changed was that it was happening a bit faster than they’d anticipated.

And it helped that Stella was about as bad a mother as someone could be. Octavia couldn’t remember a conversation with Stella that didn’t include yelling. She was also pretty sure that Stella hadn’t held her in her arms since Octavia was a baby. Maybe not even then. It seemed more likely that Stella had just handed baby Octavia off to the servants and went straight back to drinking and socializing with her ‘high-class friends’.

Octavia gave Romeo’s torso a small squeeze. He divined her meaning as if he could read her mind. The small window in the cocoon closed, leaving Stella completely cut off from the world once more. Octavia sighed. Letting her ex-mother watch the hug had been petty but the little bit of revenge was satisfying as fuck. She held onto Romeo for a bit longer before slowly letting go and stepping back.

Octavia met Romeo’s questioning gaze with a smile, “That was… nice… Thanks. I think I really needed that.”

“Anytime,” Romeo said, matching her smile. “You don’t know me but I hope we can be friends. Maybe you, me, and Loona can hang out sometime?”

Octavia ducked her head to hide the slight blush on her cheeks, “I… I think I’d like that.”

She didn’t have any real friends. It came with being as sheltered as she was and a member of the Goetia family. Her ex-mother only let her hang out with people of ‘equal standing’. So at the many parties that Stella threw and forced her to attend, Octavia was constantly surrounded by shallow, rich assholes to whom she couldn’t relate.

The closest thing she had to a friend was Loona. Octavia considered the Hellhound a friend but she was aware that they’d only had one real conversation and that normal people didn’t become friends that fast. She didn’t realize that Loona was in the same boat she was, though with different circumstances.

“So we’ve got an hour until this thing is finished,” Romeo said, gesturing at the cocoon and changing the subject. “And Blitzo and your dad deserve some privacy. Wanna listen to some Human music with me?”

“I’m down to roast you for your shit taste in music,” Octavia teased, perking up at the mention of Human music.

“Don’t knock it ’til you try it. You might be surprised what you end up liking.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, dude…”

Charlie

“Tell us… how does it feel to be such a total failure?”

Charlie quailed as the whole room started laughing at her with Katie Killjoy. This was… not going to plan. Nothing was. She’d come on the show after Extermination Day to promote the hotel and all she’d gotten for her troubles was scorn and mocking laughter. It seemed no one believed in Charlie’s vision.

No one believed in happy endings… Something inside Charlie shifted at that idea. Fine, they wanted to play hardball? Charlie could play too.

“Yeah, well… How does it feel that I’ve got your pen, huh? Bitch!”

After she said that, many things happened in not so many moments for Charlie Morningstar. The news studio went completely silent. You could have heard crickets creaking or, ironically, a pen dropping. Charlie stuttered out an oops and dropped Katie’s pen back on the desk. The news anchor stared at her, her face twisted into an angry frown.

Katie Killjoy loomed over Charlie, seemingly cloaked in shadow.  Charlie could only make out red eyes that glowed in the darkness as the studio’s lights flickered with Katie’s Demonic power. The news anchor’s silhouette contorted and warped as she shifted into her full Demon form. Charlie could see the other Demons in the room make themselves scarce, including Katie’s co-host. Only Vaggie stayed and she was too busy facepalming to be of any assistance.

Oh, dear… Oh, bother… This was certainly a pickle. Charlie looked back and forth for a way out without fighting. There didn’t seem to be one… What would Mom and Dad do? Back-to-back visions of both of her parents appeared in Charlie’s mind, giving her advice.

“You are the Princess of Hell, Charlie. Act like it. They will not respect you. You must make them. Surely you will not allow this lowly Sinner to insult you so?” the vision of her mother said.

“Do no harm but take no shit,” the vision of her father added faux-sagely before his true personality came out with a grin. “But also… fuck this bitch! Kick her ass for me, baby!”

Katie Killjoy growled as two scythe-like limbs grew from her back. With a shout, the bitch lunged at Charlie and Charlie reacted. Tom Trench had been hiding behind the news desk, already knowing how this would play out with Katie being who she was. Charlie’s Demonic power flared and the other news anchor was set ablaze. Tom Trench panicked and ran around the room, screaming as his soul was immolated by concentrated Sin.

The prettier and bitchier news anchor tried to claw Charlie’s eyes out as Charlie held her at arm’s length away by her face. Charlie was pushed back against the desk. Katie’s additional limbs tried to sink into Charlie’s flesh, sending Katie further into mindless, bitchy rage with each miss. Charlie’s flat heels slammed into Katie’s midsection with meaty ‘thwacks’.

Charlie felt her face shifting as she gave herself over to the fury and adrenaline of the catfight. Her mouth widened and sharp teeth were bared with a hissing snarl. Demonic flames burned in her eyes. Passion and Pride flooded her veins as her Demonic side came out to play, already snapping at the bit to kill this bitch!

She’d show the bitch what it really meant to mess with a Princess of Hell! Her parents’ ghostly advice rang in Charlie’s ears. She hissed in Katie’s face, flipping them so Katie was pressed against the desk and she was straddling the bitch. Kneeling over her like that, Charlie was sure she looked like every Human story of Demons and so much worse. Her eyes burned and her chest heaved.

With a Demonic growl, Charlie lashed out with claws and fists. Every impact upon the bitch’s face felt like catharsis and satisfaction. The bitch squealed like a pig and tried to defend her face with her hands. The extra limbs futilely tried to scratch Charlie’s skin. Charlie shrugged off the frantic strikes with ease and rage befitting a Princess of Hell, her bearing and station as a noble Hellborn Demon coming out to play.

The optimistic, perky Charlie Morningstar wasn’t home at the moment. Her inner Demon, the daughter of Lucifer, was answering the door. Charlie’s thoughts twisted more and more as she let her anger pour out of her. Anger at Angel Dust for breaking his promise. Anger at Sinners and how they behaved. Anger at yet another Extermination Day slaughter of her people. And most of all, anger at the bitch and everyone else for laughing at her dream.

A Demonic roar escaped her throat as Charlie’s world tunnel-visioned onto only the bitch beneath her. Her whole body flared with Demonic power and flames. Her hands came together above her head like a hammer ready to pulp the bitch’s face like a grape.

Then her surroundings disappeared in a burst of white light. When the light faded, Charlie blinked and her optimistic side came back to the fore. The white light left her filled with Hope and energy and a reminder of her dream. The world regained a sparkle that Charlie’s eyes had temporarily lost and for the first time, Charlie felt her dream was truly possible and only just out of reach. Her Demonic side fell back into the background, grumbling about not getting to kill its prey.

“Damn, girl,” an unfamiliar male voice whistled. “That was way more violent than I thought it’d be from the show.”

Charlie blinked again as she realized she was now straddling thin air. The bitch had disappeared at some point during the flash of light. Charlie stumbled to her feet, looking around the ruined studio. The pile of ash that must have been all that remained of Tom Trench made her wince briefly before her eyes landed on something much more interesting.

“Oh, wow! A Human!” Charlie exclaimed before cooing at the grown man like she would a small animal. “What are you doing down here in Hell, little guy~”

She saw Vaggie facepalming out of the corner of her eye and the stranger laughed, “That’s adorable. You know, you’re the first one here in Hell to recognize me as a Human.”

“Wait, you’re really Human?” Vaggie asked in disbelief. “How do you explain all… that then?”

Charlie looked over to where Vaggie had indicated and cocked her head to the side. She wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. It looked like a weird cocoon or some kind of pod but it was made entirely out of the same white light that had blinded her earlier. The light still radiated an almost overwhelming feeling of Hope that made it so Charlie couldn’t be too worried about any danger it might pose.

The man smirked, shaking out a pair of jazz hands, “Magic~ How else do you think I got to Hell?”

Charlie clapped her hands excitedly, “Oh, how fun! Is it based on faith?… No, dreams! No… is it Hope?”

“Bingo. Good eyes, Miss Morningstar,” he said, shooting Charlie a pair of bisexual finger guns.

Charlie grinned at that. It was always nice to meet another person of the most cultured orientation. Vaggie just scoffed in her usual ‘gruff lesbian’ way, “What are you, some kind of white mage?”

“I prefer paladin or cleric or even warlock if you must. Considering my Patrons, that last one is kind of appropriate… Though I’m not really big on the whole ‘faith’ thing… It’s complicated,” The man shrugged, sticking his hand out for an introduction. “Romeo. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“Likewise! I’m Charlie! And this is my girlfriend and partner, Vaggie! I’m a bard and Vaggie’s a barbarian!” Charlie said, latching onto Vaggie’s side with a hug.

Romeo chuckled, “Based on that song of yours, I guessed as much. It was catchy by the way.”

“You liked it?” Vaggie and Charlie said at the same time in very different tones of disbelief.

“Sure, what’s not to like?” Romeo matched Charlie’s eager grin. “People should burst into song more often. Life’s too short to not be a musical.”

“Exactly!” Charlie exclaimed eagerly. “You get it, Mr. Romeo!”

Vaggie just gave an unconvinced hum, “Mhmmm… So is this something you do often? Just show up out of nowhere with your weird pod thing and de-escalate situations? I call BS. What’s even in that thing anyway?”

“Ehhh, not really,” Romeo replied, waving his hand in a ‘so-so’ motion. “But I saw everything go wrong on the news and figured I could help out. You could say I’m a fan of happy endings and this is just me doing my part. As for the Shroud… that’s Katie Killjoy.”

Vaggie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously and Charlie gasped, “Truly? What will happen to the bitch?”

Romeo shrugged, “Nothing she doesn’t deserve. She’ll be removed from the equation. I’m sure someone will be willing to take her in. I guess you could say it’s something like… rehabilitation.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up and Vaggie groaned, “Now you’ve done it.”

“You believe in rehabilitating Sinners too?!” Charlie asked intently, getting all up in Romeo’s face in her excitement.

“At least partially,” Romeo didn’t flinch away from her enthusiasm, continuing when Charlie curiously cocked her head. “I believe some Sinners can be rehabilitated. Hell’s too big to only be full of the unrepentant. The key is knowing when someone is worth your time and when to cut your losses.”

Charlie nodded along, whipping out a notebook to take notes, “You’re the first one I’ve met other than Vaggie that believes in rehabilitation at all! How wonderful! Tell me more!”

“Uh, Charlie? Hon? We still gotta go find Angel Dust at some point here,” Vaggie’s interruption made Charlie pout.

“I can walk and talk,” Romeo offered before waving to the Shroud cocoon. “She should be about done cooking in there and I have some free time.”

The offer made Charlie perk back up with a smile on her face, “I simply must pick your brain then, Mr. Romeo!”

“Just Romeo is fine if I can call you Charlie,” Romeo said with a little chuckle.

“Spectacular! Now… Say, hypothetically, you have this hotel…”