Life’s Not a Fairy Tale (No Matter How Much I Want It To Be) Ch.12 (Patreon)

“Ahahaha,” Alt laughed maniacally. “Eat shit, Silverhand!”

Becca giggled along with her while First and I just watched with amused smiles on our faces. This is what happened after Alt had found out that she was functionally immortal — even more so with Warranty Plan. It was obvious she had some unprocessed trauma from Cyberpunk’s Keanu Reeves lookalike. It was something I made a note of for the future. I might have to help her track down Johnny’s engram and deal with it when we returned to Cyberpunk.

Not long after Alt’s cathartic outburst, the Fae returned. It returned with nothing in its hands but I could practically feel the borrowed power it now held. The power that was rightfully mine. It grinned at me and I realized I was sort of getting used to its fiendish appearance. There was anticipation and something that could have been mistaken for delight hiding behind its inhuman outer shell.

When it spoke, I could tell it was teasing me, “Contractor, I come bearing gifts~”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, yeah, get on with it. Most of this was already mine. You just kept it from me.”

The wide stretched grin faltered ever so slightly, “Yes… That is true… It’s times like these that I regret trying to be diplomatic with my kin… No matter. What shall we do first?”

“Warranty Plan,” I said firmly.

The Fae’s grin returned in full force, “As you wish~”

We were currently stranded between worlds. Space and time didn’t work the same way here. But what the Fae did next was unnatural even for this dimensional limbo. Time and Space or whatever passed for them here froze around me, Becca, and Alt. I only remained aware of what was happening because of a vague, nameless connection between me and First that had always been there without me noticing.

I watched the Fae approach my girls as I struggled not to struggle. The fact that First wasn’t frozen and his calm disposition were the only things that kept me from bucking against the Fae’s hold over me. My inhuman Patron reached out to Becca and Alt. I saw two beads of undefined light gather on its fingertips. With a single touch, the lights disappeared into the girls’ souls.

Then the Fae turned and floated over to me. It smirked at my frozen face, seeming to know that I was aware and awake. The same process was repeated and as the light disappeared into my forehead I felt something settle into my soul. The light inside me reached out and connected with the lights inside Becca and Alt. And then everything resumed and we could move again.

“Please don’t do that again,” I said. The Fae just grinned at me.

“Do what?” Alt asked.

“Just something to make the perk installation procedure easier, dear,” First explained. “Don’t worry about it too much. It’s kind of like anesthesia. Romeo here wasn’t completely affected due to me being his Patron. In a dual sponsorship situation like this one, neither Patron can take unilateral action or have unilateral control over the Contractor.”

“And we will have to do it again for the Shroud. Unless you want to feel every second of it melding to your very being,” the Fae added.

“I’ll feel it all anyway,” I grumbled.

First asked a very good question, “Yes, but do you want your girls to go through the same thing?”

“No…” I was doing my best not to pout. Becca’s giggles weren’t helping.

“If you want, I can do the next two perks,” First offered. “I have a… gentler touch than your other Patron.”

I all but leaped at the offer, “Please do.”

“Alright, I’ll do We Will Meet Again first. It’ll be much easier and faster than the Shroud,” First said.

And he was right. Installing We Will Meet Again was the work of seconds for him. He didn’t even have to physically touch me. It just served to confirm that my Fae Patron was a bit of a theatre kid. Or it just liked fucking with me too much.

The perk settled into place and it felt like something opened up behind me. When I turned to look, nothing was there. But I could still feel it. It felt like an open door. A path of breadcrumbs I could follow back to safety. It felt like a haven I could return to and that knowledge warmed my heart. I may never be able to go back to my birth world, but now I would never be locked out of another world after I left.

“Now for the big one. I can freeze time for Becca and Alt so they don’t feel anything if you want,” First offered.

Alt refused decisively, “No. We’ll feel everything Romeo does.”

Becca refused as well, “Yeah, choom! Just stick the whatever in my whatever!”

First looked at me with a question in his eyes and I shrugged, “You heard the ladies. Get on with it.”

“Alright,” First chuckled. “Then we’ll switch things up slightly. I’ll give Romeo his Shroud. It will bond to his body and soul. Then it will be up to him to share it with you two. A lot of things will be happening at once. Romeo’s Shroud is basically eight perks in one. Don’t panic and just let it happen. You’ll all be fine.”

We nodded our consent and First began the Shrouding process. He reached out and took hold of the fabric of reality in this place between worlds. His hands pulled, peeling a thin cloak of what felt like pure magic away with them. The cloak gathered in his hands, waving and fluttering in an imperceptible wind. The magic fabric of the cloak shifted between various colors and natures before settling on a glowing white color with lines of code that flickered through it.

“You know,” First mused, staring at the Shroud in his hands. “As far as custom elements go, you could certainly do worse than Hope. I feel like Cyber was a given thanks to your heritage but choosing Hope as your main element? Well, it’s unique, to say the least. You’ll have a lot of work to do if you want to master it but your choice will eventually pay dividends.”

I was practically vibrating with anticipation by now and it felt like First was just stalling, “C’mon, old man, don’t leave me hanging!”

First sighed, “Very well… Here is your Company Binding, Romeo. Welcome to the big leagues.”

He absently tossed the Shroud into the air. The cloak reoriented itself in mid-air, seeking me out and making a beeline for me. It instantly wrapped itself around me when it reached me, engulfing and compressing my whole body. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but I could feel the magic fabric pressing down into my soul. The magic quickly permeated my whole being. It was like a heavy blanket was being draped over my soul and melding with my body.

I could feel the Company binding being branded into me, ready and almost begging to be used. The Shroud purred, rumbling happily as my elements settled in as well. My secondary Cyber element felt like jacking into an electrical outlet. A jolt of lightning was sent straight to the core of my being. My primary Hope element felt like a bunch of things all at once. An eternal flame, flowers blooming after a deep freeze, glimmers of light at the end of a tunnel, A rainbow stretching across the sky after a thunderstorm, and the closure of a happy ending. Most of all, it felt like the stories of my childhood. Like my mother’s words and her smile.

Moving the Shroud came to me instinctively. It flexed and relaxed with my will, responding to every twitch of my mind, body, and soul. The initial manipulation of my elements came just as easily. Cyber felt almost eager with how quickly it sunk into my other augments. Hope burned in my chest like a torch, lighting up the darkness between worlds.

First nodded, “Good, you’re taking to it well. Now for the girls.”

Giving Becca and Alt the Shroud was simple and straightforward. They were both already bound to me — Becca through her confession and Alt through whatever immunity First had granted her — so we didn’t have to wait for the Shroud to finish an unnecessary binding process. I just had to wrap them up in my Shroud and let it seep into their bodies and souls. Alt went first and Becca and I watched her form change to accommodate the Shroud.

“Hmm, kinky~” Becca hummed as Alt was engulfed in a cocoon made out of my Shroud.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. Becca’s thirst was understandable. After all, we had been ‘abducted’ in the middle of a heated moment. Still, her horniness would have to wait. We would be deploying to a tier-10 setting as soon as this was all finished. I was sure that Becca wouldn’t have any problem putting aside her desires in favor of a murder/capture rampage.

Alt’s Shroud settled into place within her and I felt an empathetic bond follow it. I could feel her emotions, from wonder at the Shroud and her new opportunities to lingering anxiety about leaving her world and the Company. I felt her power increase as the Shroud shot her up to a tier-8 — one tier higher than my current max of tier-7. She’d be much more specialized than me — only more powerful in hacking/netrunning and other non-physical pursuits — but having the girls’ tiers as high as possible felt good.

Becca’s Shroud was implanted in much the same way. Another empathetic bond came with it, connecting me and Alt to Becca. Becca’s emotions were practically all excitement and energy. She was eager to get going and eager to cause some trouble in the multiverse. She also got the 2-tier increase, bringing her up to tier-7 like me.

With the perk stuff done and taken care of, we spent a little bit of time developing our game plan for Extermination Day. We’d be dropped into the setting right as the clock and countdown hit zero. We would then have to spend at least 24 hours there, with extra time being optional or reserved for future visits.

Our goals were to capture enough targets to pay off my debt without compromising my morals. Which considering the setting, should be a cakewalk. I wouldn’t have a problem selling almost anyone from that Hell. The only ones on my no-sale list were the main casts of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

A basic combat formation was established as well. Alt, as our weakest combatant, would be relegated to her digital form. She would be playing a support role and acting as a field commander for me and Becca. To no one’s surprise, Becca ended up in the vanguard/berserker role. And since I was the most flexible member of our little squad, I would be shoring up any gaps and watching Becca’s back.

And with that, we were as ready as we were going to get. There wasn’t much more we could do to plan, especially not in a setting like Extermination Day. We could have used more time to practice with our Shrouds, but we’d just have to learn by doing. I turned to where First and the Fae were watching our impromptu planning session.

“Well… Good luck,” First simply said.

“That’s it?” I asked, surprised. “No secret mission this time?”

First shook his head, “No, not this time. You need to focus on paying off your debt. If you do, I can show you some of the more fun things you can do with Company-granted freedom.”

My face scrunched up skeptically, “You’re not going to take me on a dimensional panty raid or something, are you?”

“Come back in one piece, pay off your debt, and find out for yourself,” First laughed.

I turned to address the Fae, “Any last-minute words of advice from you?”

The Fae chortled at me, “No, but we will be watching your progress eagerly. Happy hunting~”

And with the Fae’s ‘encouragement’, we were sent flying through the space between worlds.

Loona

The scent of blessed gunpowder burned her sensitive nose. A haze of smoke obscured her vision as she ran through the chaotic streets of Pentagram City. A cacophony of screams and gunshots deafened her and she could taste death on her tongue. She ducked and dodged as best she could, darting down alleys here and there in a futile effort to escape her pursuer.

It was that time of year again. The time when Hell descended into chaos and no one in the Pride Ring was safe. People had locked themselves indoors in preparation for Extermination Day. The 24-hour purge had begun. Only the dumb and suicidal stayed out today. Loona didn’t consider herself either and yet she still found herself here, running for her life from Exorcists and the odd Demons who were taking advantage of the chaos of Extermination Day to appease their sadistic desires.

Loona blamed her adopted father. For some reason, Blitzo had decided that today was the perfect day to do a little bit of grass-roots advertising. Loona didn’t often care much about her boss/dad’s schemes, but she would be having words with him if they both survived this somehow.

The group had been separated almost immediately after the Exorcists descended into Hell and shit hit the fan. Loona had spent the last hour since then barely escaping with her life. With the way things were going, she knew her chances of surviving the next 23 hours were miserably slim. And those chances got even slimmer with the hunter she’d somehow picked up along the way.

Curses that would make a sailor blush rolled off Loona’s tongue as she ducked under an unlucky Sinner’s flying, dismembered body. Even being chased by an Exorcist, Loona took the time to avoid the vile blood spraying from the flying Sinner. If she was going to die, she would do it with clean fur.

She heard the Exorcist behind her getting closer. It took its time, pausing to purge any other unlucky Demons who got in its path before continuing to stalk her. Loona recognized what was happening. She sometimes did it to her prey when she was in the mood. It was playing with her. These things were awfully sadistic for Angels. Loona growled and ran faster.

The streets and alleys began to blur together. Her mind fell into a focused fugue of self-preservation. Everywhere she went, she found murder and carnage. And through it all, that damned Exorcist followed her. It kept its distance, lazily waiting for Loona to tire herself out or corner herself.

An Imp’s brain exploded out the back of its head in front of her. Loona kept running.

She watched as another Sinner was disemboweled and hacked into chunks. Loona kept running.

Exorcists circled overhead, smiling down at the denizens of Pentagram City with creepy, frozen masks. Loona kept running.

An explosion and a collapsing building forced her into a dead-end alley. Loona stopped running…

She turned back as her pursuer floated into the mouth of the alley. It hovered there, just watching her. Vicious Black horns curved back cruelly from the top of its head, holding up a spiked halo. Its eyes glowed white under the crimson-tinted darkness of the pentagram that gave the city its name. The blessed black steel of the Exorcist Angel’s blade glinted in the low light of the alley.

The hand that wasn’t holding the sword raised a pistol and let off a single shot. Loona watched the smoke rise from the barrel with heart-clenching dread building in her chest. The Exorcist didn’t look at where it shot but Loona knew another Demon was now dead. It didn’t say a word, letting the chaotic sounds of Extermination Day speak for it.

Loona desperately looked left and right for anything that could save her. There was nothing. No place to run. No place to hide. No chance of fighting back. This was where she was going to die. Her eyes squeezed shut and a single crack rang out. All other noises faded into background static as a chilled heat radiated from somewhere on her abdomen.

She didn’t even realize she was falling until she hit the ground. Her eyes flew open and the breath was forced from her lungs for what was possibly the last time. Crimson stained her silver fur, spreading and pooling there until it spilled onto the ground beneath her.

‘So much for dying with clean fur,’ Loona absently thought, rolling her eyes. ‘And of course, that bastard won’t let me die in peace.”

Loona watched with blurry eyes as the Exorcist took its sweet time floating over to her collapsed form. With the way it brandished its sword, it was obvious what it was about to do. When it finally loomed over her, it paused, staring down at her with that impassive mask before raising its blade high. With no air left in her lungs, Loona couldn’t even sigh, but she at least kept her eyes open this time.

Keeping her eyes open quickly proved to be the best thing Loona could have done. Something vaguely person-shaped dropped behind the Exorcist without it noticing. The thing stood up and something shot out of it. They were like tendrils of liquid light that latched onto the Exorcist and completely engulfed it in an instant. Loona should have been terrified by the scene in front of her, but all she could think about was that the Angel had it coming and how nice the light made her feel. It warmed her soul, pushing away the chill that must have been death, and making her feel like everything would be okay.

The cocoon of light writhed and struggled for a few seconds before the Exocist inside seemed to go limp. Another humanoid figure floated down from wherever the first came from. A strand of light stayed connected to the cocoon as the first figure made its way over to Loona.

The figure spoke to its companion, “That capture should only take an hour. Finding an Exorcist by itself was a good catch, Becca. Now, let’s see about our victim.”

‘Hubba, hubba,’ Loona thought woozily. ‘What a voice~’

Her vision cleared as the figure got closer. The person who came into view made Loona think it was a shame she was dying. He was tall, with mocha-colored skin and grayish-white hair. Blue-green eyes seemed to sparkle at her. His face had a boyish charm to it and his body looked like it had been sculpted by the god of studs. And then Loona’s blood-deprived brain realized something. Was he Human?

The other figure coming into view somewhat answered that question. She also looked Human and seeing two of them helped Loona’s brain accept the impossible slightly better. Her hunk of a savior was a Human… in Hell… He looked down at her. Recognition flashed through those beautiful eyes but Loona’s brain was too far gone to make anything of that information.

“Oh shit,” the stud cursed. “Do I have your permission to heal you? You’ll come out fine but you will be irrevocably bound to me.”

“T-Tie me up, Daddy~” Loona slurred.

Her savior sighed, “Not that kind of bound, but I think that’s as close to consent as I’m going to get.”

The other figure, a short, petite woman, giggled, “She’s cute~ Can we keep her?”

“I don’t think we have a choice,” the guy said. “She’s not someone I would feel comfortable selling but I’m not about to let her die like this. Hopefully, we can use her as an in with other targets.”

“You can get in me~” Loona’s death-drunk words were ignored.

“I thought you didn’t want to capture the ‘main cast’. Did you change your mind?” the woman asked, curiously cocking her head to the side.

“No,” he shook his head. “I meant we could use them to get to our targets. I don’t see how else we would get to targets like Stella or Paimon and they’re worth good points so I definitely don’t want to skip them.”

The woman shrugged, “You’re the boss, choom. I’m having enough fun just wasting all of these Angels.”

“Whoooo! Yeah! Fucksh ‘dose bashardsh!” Loona’s dazed cheer brought the pair’s attention back to her.

The hunk kneeled next to her and Loona got a deep whiff of his scent that made her eyes flutter, “Shit, I should probably get to healing you before you bleed out. Stay still for me. This won’t hurt unless you struggle.”

“Yesh, Daddy~” Loona barely managed to form the words. Her tongue felt so heavy and dry in her mouth.

Her vision started to fade again even as she felt her savior reach out and place his hands on her stomach. A white light filled the bottom half of her blurry vision before it slowly started to creep upwards. Eventually, all she could see was white. It felt good, warming her chilling body as if the light was a blanket. She felt herself get hugged from all sides and she leaned into the feeling.

The cloak of white light around her thickened until it was almost physical but it never became oppressive. Loona never felt like she was in danger. If anything, she felt comforted. She felt held and safe and loved. An emotion she wasn’t very familiar with leaked from the light into her mind and soul: Hope.

It burned as a steady flame in her chest, pulsing and gaining strength as she felt her heart start beating again. Loona’s body was revitalized and her exhaustion seeped away. She felt whole. Like something that had been missing her entire life had just slotted into place. And then she felt somehow more than whole as she was connected to something greater than herself.

A connection formed, linking Loona to the Shroud around her. And through that link, Loona felt the owner of the Shroud. Almost instantly, information flowed down the connection and she knew the hunk who saved her. She knew his emotions, his fears, his hopes, and his dreams. She knew what he meant when he said ‘irrevocably bound’ now and honestly? She couldn’t bring herself to hate it.

Loona felt what could only be described as her soul rubbing up against his and two others. She was linked to them as well, but those connections paled in the face of the bond she felt with her savior. She briefly wondered where the unseen bondmate was before quickly deciding it didn’t matter right now and basking in the sensations of the bond.

All too soon, her time in the Shroud ended and the light began to recede. Loona blinked away spots as she landed on her feet. The world came back into focus and she found herself face-to-face with her newly bonded savior. Wow… Loona quickly decided that her nearly-dead self was right. He was an absolute studmuffin. She immediately felt the usual anxiety-in-the-face-of-hotness creep into her mind.

She fidgeted and played with her hair, “So… Uh, you, uh… come here often?”