Life’s Not a Fairy Tale (No Matter How Much I Want It To Be) Ch.11 (Patreon)

Alt pushed me back against the bed, obviously taking great joy in being able to touch someone else again. My knees hit the edge and I suddenly found myself sitting. I looked up at Alt as she prowled toward me like a cougar, only now realizing the difference in age and experience between us and how much that turned me on.

“Ready, big boy? Mommy Alt’s gonna make you feel ~real~ good,” Alt purred.

I gulped, “I need an adult.”

“I am an adult~”

I shuddered, watching as Alt sank to her knees between my legs. Alt gazed up at me with a promise of unbelievable pleasure in her eyes. I glanced around the room, looking for anything that could save me from being mommy dommed into oblivion. My gaze landed on Becca where she sat in the corner of the room, watching us and playing with herself with a naughty grin on her face.

“Becca? A little help?” I all but squeaked at her.

Alt undid my pants, not even looking back as Becca giggled and replied, “Nah, choom, this is hot as fuck. I don’t know who your new friend is but her whole ‘blonde cougar’ energy is really doing it for me. I think I’ll just sit back and watch her do her thing.”

“Traitor!” I gasped even as my hips raised automatically to help Alt get my pants off.

Alt shushed me, “Shhh~ Focus on me~ I’m your whole world right now and I’m about to make sure you can’t think about anything else~”

I tried not to whimper. I really did. But then Alt pulled out my cock and I realized I was so hard that I was throbbing. Standing straight up from my crotch, my cock obscured half of Alt’s face. I saw the visible half of her face stretch into a satisfied and excited grin. She purred and pressed her cheek into my shaft.

“Now this is a proper cock~ I bet you know how to use it too. And you didn’t have to chrome it out to get it even half this size like some people. Silverhand, eat your heart out. I’ve upgraded to natural man-meat instead of your pathetic prick~ He must be turning in his grave~

“Mmmmm, nothing beats the smell of natural musk~” Alt moaned wantonly, running her nose up and down my member.

“Fuck,” I groaned. “Is this the best time to be taunting your ex?”

Alt’s smile became a bit malicious, “After all the shit he put me through? Yeah, it is. I think Johnny deserves to be posthumously cucked. Now shut up and let me get to work~”

The warm, wet tongue that darted out and licked along the entirety of my length made me grunt, “Yes’m…”

“Good boy~”

Alt’s nimble tongue circled the head of my cock. She dragged the flat of it from my base to my tip, lapping up the precum that beaded there. The trail of saliva she left cooled in the air and made me shiver. She had to use both hands to fully encircle my shaft, pumping up and down in time with the movement of her tongue. A gasp escaped my lips when she finally latched onto my tip and began to suck.

Alt looked up at me with a twinkle in her eyes and I swear she grinned around my cock. Her cheeks hollowed out, gripping my cockhead with the pliable flesh of her mouth. She bobbed up and down along the first couple of inches of my member, sucking gently with skilled lips.

A voice appeared in my mind as Alt cooed to me through my implants, “Such a good boy~ That’s it~ Just sit back and let mommy take care of you~”

The dirty talk in my mind made me throb inside Alt’s mouth. Her tongue tenderly lashed back and forth on the underside of my cock and she dove deeper. I breached her throat without ceremony as Alt just kept swallowing more of me with ease. Eventually, she planted her lips against the base of my cock with an audible gulp. Her throat stretched and hugged me and I felt like I was falling forward into a sea of sensation.

“You’re so big, baby~ So hard for me~ Do you like my tight~ hot~ wet~ throat?~ Maybe this is why you went into the old net in the first place? To find an old AI fox to suck you dry? Is that it, baby? Did you want me to do this from the moment you met me?~”

“T-That’s not true,” I stuttered and moaned. “I-I just wanted to help.”

“I know, baby, I’m just teasing you~ Let me show you how thankful I am that you came along~”

Alt hadn’t broken eye contact with me even as she swallowed all of my cock and teased me in my mind. She slowly dragged her mouth up my length, staring into my eyes the whole time. The feeling of sliding out of her throat left me breathless and shaky. I didn’t know winks could be so sultry and arousing until Alt winked at me.

She drove her head back down with a wet ‘ghluck’. Her oral muscles seemed to twist and turn around me as her throat engulfed me once again. My hands fisted in the sheets below me. Experienced lips milked me up and down as a lithe tongue painted all of the erogenous zones of my cock with liquid fire.

It was too much. Alt was too good at this. As someone with only two previous sexual partners, I knew I was completely outclassed. Alt was a vixen, a sex demon, a complete and utter digital goddess who was blessing me with her attention. She had decades of sexual expertise and experiences with literal rockstars from before she ‘died’ and it seemed as if she hadn’t forgotten a thing.

I didn’t stand a chance. Sticky Fingers and Sexual Calibration didn’t help much when you were on the receiving end of things. My eyelids fluttered and my core clenched as Alt pushed me higher and higher. Even the control I had over my orgasm was wavering. Alt masterfully controlled my pleasure, pushing me to the edge over and over again while I barely held on by a thread. All Coherent thoughts fled my mind.

“G-Gonna… cum!…” I gasped.

Pulling back so my cockhead rested on her tongue, Alt purred in my mind, “Let go, baby~ Let yourself be washed away by the pleasure~ Give mommy Alt all of your thick~ cream~”

Given no other choice but to cum, I did. An unintelligible groan tore from my lips. My entire body pulsed as a wave of white-hot ecstasy ran from my brain down my spine and into my throbbing cock. My muscles tensed as if I was struck by lightning. Alt looked up at me with eyes that implored me for my seed and hummed around my cock.

The vibrations were what broke the dam. A raging torrent of thick jizz rushed up my shaft and into Alt’s mouth. The air was forced out of my lungs. My cock jumped and throbbed, shooting easily half a dozen ropes of cum to paint the inside of Alt’s mouth white. She swallowed dutifully while her lips and tongue continued to milk me for everything I had.

Even as she swallowed down my load, Alt kept dirty talking into my mind, “Mmmmm~ So good~ You should be careful with loads like that. You might knock someone up~”

“Can’t… Unless I want to… Perk of the job…” I grunted.

Alt blinked in surprise, still suckling on the tip of my cock, “Why didn’t you lead with that? Complete birth control is just as good of a pitch as giving me a body back.”

I chuckled as my afterglow faded, “Well, you needed a body to get pregnant in the first place. I guess it just didn’t seem all that relevant.”

Alt’s lips popped off my cock and she spoke verbally for the first time since she started ‘thanking’ me, “You know You can’t just say that and not expect me to test it out, right? Especially since you haven’t gone soft. I hope you’re ready for the ride of your life, big boy~”

I didn’t get the chance to respond. Alt rose to her feet and stepped into me. She straddled my lap, landing with her crotch pressed against my still-hard cock. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her seductive eyes looked into mine. I couldn’t look away. Alt’s gaze promised to teach me pleasure beyond my wildest dreams.

In an instant, Alt’s jeans disappeared into the digital ether. Her arousal dripped down the length of my cock as she ground herself against me. A slick heat hugged the underside of my shaft, stroking up and down with Alt’s motions.

A foxy smirk was painted onto her lips as she raised herself so she was perched at my tip. She slowly pushed her hips back and down onto me. My cock sank inside her with my cockhead forging the way and stretching her walls around me. We both shuddered at the penetration and each other’s body heat.

A rod of velvety steel split Alt open. A silky vice engulfed my member. She sank until her hips collided with mine. Her inner walls fluttered around me when I bottomed out in her.

“So full~” Alt moaned in my head.

Alt began to move and my hands instantly gravitated to her hips. They rolled atop me, grinding my cock into her deepest places. My body automatically followed her movements, trying vainly to get even deeper inside her. Eventually, Alt started to bounce and ride me. I could see the muscles in her thighs and core flex and relax with each rise and fall. It was hypnotizing.

My hips bucked upward as the pleasure crept into my muscles. The sounds of our bodies coming together, again and again, filled the room. Our moans were almost in harmony. I pulled her down onto me harder and her fingers dug into my shoulders. Nails scraped across my skin and I made sure to do my best to leave behind marks on Alt’s body. Alt’s head came down and nipped at the skin of my shoulder, making me groan and up the pace.

Alt’s gratitude was intense. It was passionate and fiery and the way she showed it only exemplified those qualities. I felt like I was burning up, both physically and mentally, as Alt’s body pushed me to the brink once more and she whispered dirty nothings in my mind.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled her down, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tight to my chest like she was a lifeline in a sea of euphoria. I buried my head in her neck and whined as I came. Unlike my first, this orgasm was slow, almost languid, but no less intense. Pleasure seared my mind as a seemingly constant stream of cum poured out of my cock.

Alt came on top of me at the same time. She shuddered and quivered around me, letting out a breathy sigh as a deeply satisfying climax wracked her frame. She never stopped cooing to me and calling me a good boy. She even stroked my hair sensually in a way that only further intensified my orgasm.

My muscles spasmed and twitched as the last few spurts of cum trickled into Alt’s womb. I felt so drained and relaxed by the flood of feel-good chemicals in my brain. It was as if the world had stopped turning and time had frozen on this moment. All that mattered was the semi-digital woman in my arms and our combined orgasmic afterglow. I allowed myself to fall backward, pulling Alt with me so she landed atop my chest with our crotches still connected.

We were silent for a while until Alt finally sighed, “Hahhh, I needed that… I wish I didn’t feel like such a cradle robber though…”

I snorted, “There are worse things in this world than a little bit of an age gap. Especially since we’re both consenting adults.”

“‘A bit of an age gap’? I’ve got to be, like, 60 years older than you,” Alt chuckled.

“I don’t mind.”

“Is that so?… Heh, mama still got it.”

“Goddamn, choom! What a show!” Becca said, reminding me and Alt that we weren’t alone.

I addressed the elephant in the room, “Ah… Becca, this is Alt… Alt Cunningham. Yeah, that Alt Cunningham. She’ll be… joining us. Alt, this is Becca. She’s my mainline…”

Alt turned her head to face Becca and raised an eyebrow at her, “You don’t mind me fucking your boy toy?”

Becca thought for a second, “… Not really, surprisingly. You seem pretty chill, you’re hot, and you’re a certifiable legend. If anything, it’s kinda sexy that Romeo managed to pull someone like you. As long as you let me join next time, I’m cool with it.”

Alt turned to me, “You’re still hard, aren’t you?”

I shrugged and flexed my cock inside her instead of replying verbally, “Does that answer your question?”

Alt moaned and glared at me, “It does… I might need Becca to join us if we want a chance at satisfying you.”

Becca grinned, “Nova! Move over, choom, and let me take a crack at our boy!”

Alt groaned as she rolled off of me and my cock slipped out of her. Becca stood up and took a running leap at me. I had to sit up suddenly to catch her.

But something happened before Becca could land in my arms. The room around us flickered and reality cracked. It felt like something grabbed me behind the navel and pulled. The world disappeared around us in a blur of colors that quickly faded into black and white. We were ripped out of reality and into the void between worlds in a single moment. First, still wearing my body, stared at us as we appeared with a gentle smile on his face. Beside him stood the Fae with its inhumanly expressive face.

“Uh… Romeo? Choom? Why are there two of you? Becca asked, glancing between me and First.

“And what the fuck is that?!” Alt added frantically.

I sighed, “Really? You couldn’t have chosen a better time for this?”

The Fae’s smile just grew wider as it took pleasure from messing with me, but First had the decency to wince, “Sorry, Romeo. They were getting impatient and since you were basically done with that world, I couldn’t convince them to wait to summon you.”

The Fae spoke in rhythm and rhyme, “A deal was struck with a man down on his luck. One life changed that day but now comes the time to pay.”

I ran my hand through my hair, “… Fine. Alt? Becca? These are my Patrons. The one who looks like me is First. The… other is one of the Fae. I don’t know its name. Becca already knew about this but, Alt?… I told you they wouldn’t be normal.”

“You did…” Alt grudgingly admitted. “I just wasn’t expecting something out of my childhood nightmares.”

“We resent that,” the Fae rasped. “The one you saw in your nightmares was probably Pam, not us. She’s a bit of a bitch…”

The rest of us looked at the Fae with bewilderment. I just could not nail this creature down. One second it was all riddles and cryptic shit I would expect from a fairy and the next it said things like that.

First cleared his throat, “Ahem… Moving on. Perhaps we should tally up everything and see how Romeo is doing on his debt?”

“Very well,” the Fae nodded. “For our sponsorship, the one known as Romeo owed the Fae a total of 944 Company points. Thanks to our partnership with First and his contribution, 354 points have been taken off of that total. Romeo will maintain his status as a Wage Slave until the debt has been paid off in full. The progress of the debt is as follows…”

The Fae took out a pair of reading glasses, ones you would expect to find on a secretary or librarian, and slotted them into place on its face. A folder appeared in its hand, which it opened and began to read, “Romeo handily completed his primary mission objectives, as set by us, in the world of Cyberpunk. He managed to collect and capture a large amount of technology and ‘toys’. Jerry will be pleased. In addition, Romeo captured several entities that will prove to be profitable should we collect them, including a plethora of AIs and two Named targets known as Rebecca and Alt Cunningham.”

Both Alt and Becca seemed uncomfortable with that but Alt was the one who spoke up, “Collect? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Romeo already promised to help me. I’m not going to let you just up and kidnap me.”

The unnatural smile on the Fae’s face grew wider before First butted in, “Ah ah ah, You’re overstepping. They should both be safe from ‘involuntary seizure’. They belong with Romeo now.”

“That wasn’t the deal, First…” the Fae growled.

“Actually, it was. Our deal was that I would grant immunity to one person Romeo captured from that world. The exact wording implies that immunity applies only to people Romeo captured. And technically, Becca here captured herself with a confession. The immunity slot is therefore still open and I imagine Romeo would like to give it to Alt.”

I nodded firmly to First’s assumption. Having someone in my corner when negotiating with the Fae did wonders for my confidence.

The Fae let out a frustrated laugh, “Ha! You truly have learned from working with us, First. Good, good… I will observe the terms of the deal. Wording matters, after all. You would do best to learn that quickly, young Romeo…”

Alt still didn’t look completely happy with the deal, “What about the other ghosts? If Romeo gives them their bodies back, they’ll just end up being taken by this guy. I thought I’d be able to negotiate for myself.”

“You still can,” First said. “You’ll just have to do it through Romeo and me. I’m sure I can manage to get them and you safe places as Company employees. You’ll still technically be Romeo’s Companions but at least you won’t be straight-up sold. And if you object to being Romeo’s ‘Waifu’, I can appoint you as his secretary or assistant for now. It’s just a title but it comes with a bit of legal leeway where the Company is concerned.”

I laid a hand on Alt’s shoulder, “I promised I would do my best to help you. I didn’t lie but obviously, I didn’t completely think it through. It’s a good thing you were more cautious than me. We can reconsider how to help them when I’m not a Wage Slave to the Fae anymore. If First can’t get them jobs at the Company, I’ll buy the island perk and they can all stay there until we can figure something out.”

“We believe that a reorganization of our partnership is in order to prevent future loopholes like this. We would rather work together than be continuously stonewalled from making any profit at all by you and First. Perhaps something like a commission? Or a fee and exclusivity deal for any Companions you wish to sell to the Company in the future?…” the Fae mused.

When I glanced at First, he nodded at me, so I grunted, adding my own two cents, “Fine by me. I’ve got things I want to negotiate with you as well. Like purchasing We Will Meet Again and getting what I paid for regarding my Shroud.”

“That can be arranged…” the Fae said. “But at least let us finish the nitty gritty point business before getting into that.”

“Nitty gritty?” Becca mouthed to Alt, making the semi-digital woman shrug.

I waved for the Fae to continue and it did, “For the multiple tons of captured equipment and technology, we are willing to offer 100 points. For the 12 captured AIs — 10 tier-5s and two tier-6s, we are willing to offer 180 points for a total of 280 points taken off of your 590-point debt.”

“Don’t forget the mission,” First added.

“Ah, yes… the mission… You show this boy a fair amount of favor, First…” the Fae observed.

“Mission?” I asked in confusion.

“I took it upon myself to give you an additional Company mission for the Cyberpunk world,” First explained. “It was a pretty simple one. You just had to explore Night City, become an edgerunner, and pull off a couple of heists. I figured you would do all of that anyway so I took the opportunity to get you extra points. Completing it also came with a perk of your choice… I may have taken the liberty of choosing for you… Sorry.”

I sighed, “I mean, it’s free stuff. Can I even complain?”

“You totally can, but I don’t think you’ll want to. I didn’t choose anything invasive, just the next upgrade for your heritage tree. You are now the proud owner of an Evolutionary Engine Array.”

“I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t do it again. You might be helping me out and mentoring me, but I still want to be mostly in control of my life. Especially when it comes to the Catalog.”

First nodded, conceding to my opinion, “I get it, bud. I was just trying to help but I’ll admit I got a bit too overexcited there. It’s… been a while since I mentored someone I like as much as you.”

The Fae cleared its throat, sounding like gravel grinding together, “Quite… Now back to business. The mission’s primary reward was the perk of your choice. The rewards for the secondary objectives you completed were additional points — 40, to be precise. Would you like to apply those points to your debt or save them as ‘spending money’?”

I considered my options for a moment before answering, “Can I spend 15 of those 40 points on We Will Meet Again? And then put the rest into the debt?”

“We will allow it,” the Fae nodded. “Your current debt total is 285 points. Congratulations. You’ve made a sizable dent in the debt and proved to us that you are more than capable of completely paying it off. Considering that, we are willing to grant you some… allowances. We also have another proposal for you concerning future payments.”

“Allowances like what?” I asked somewhat cautiously.

The Fae had proved that they weren’t completely malicious toward me — or at least this one had. They’d given me a fair price for my Cyberpunk loot and hadn’t tried to subvert First and his deal with them. Well… they hadn’t tried much. Still, I figured I could at least listen to what they were offering, especially with First here to curb the creature’s worst habits. Honestly, First was quickly becoming a necessity if I wanted to negotiate with the Fae.

“We believe that granting you the Shroud would be… beneficial to both of us.”

“You mean the thing I was supposed to have from the beginning?” I rolled my eyes. “Gee, you think?”

The Fae shrugged, sending a shiver down my spine at how Human the action looked, “You were unproven. We were just employing suitable caution.”

“And now that I’ve proved I won’t pull a runner — which I doubt I could have done anyway — you’ll give me something that I should have already had?”

“Yes,” the Fae answered frankly. “Also, the loaned stamp made it easier to claim everything you captured. Some of my kin can be detrimentally greedy.”

“Whatever,” I scoffed. “Just give me my Shroud and let’s hear this proposal of yours.”

“The way we see it, you have two options, Romeo. You can either play it safe and spend multiple jumps paying off your debt or risk it all and pay it all off in one jump. We have a vested interest in making sure you choose the second option. This is where our proposal comes in. We are willing to throw in a sort of bonus if you choose the risky option.”

“How risky are we talking here? And what’s the bonus?”

“A tier-10 world. But we think you will find the bonus worth the danger. Warranty Plan. A guarantee on your Companions’ lives. Paid upfront. All you’ll have to worry about is keeping yourself alive.”

Damn… the Fae was right. That bonus was well worth the risk. Especially since it would apply to the tier-10 world as well. The Fae knew it was something I wouldn’t refuse.

“… What’s the world?” I asked after several moments of silent consideration.

The Fae’s grin stretched unnaturally, “Dealer’s choice~”

That prompted another few moments of consideration. What world would give me the best chance of survival and success? Most of the tier-10 worlds I knew about instantly went straight out the window. 40k, CthulhuTech, SCP, and all the cultivation worlds would see me dead on arrival. And if they didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to make any progress on my debt. Targets would be outside of my power range or just unavailable.

I looked to First for help. He gave me a small nod before an option appeared in my mind. I looked at him askance. Hell… He wanted to send me to literal Hell. Sure, it was the Hell of a pretty comedic series, but it was still Hell with all the horny Demons and suffering that came with that. First nodded again, more firmly this time. Fuck… I was just going to have to trust him on this, wasn’t I?

A long exhale left my lungs, “Haaaaaa… I choose Hazbin Hotel… on Extermination Day…”

Thinking about it some more, the choice did make some sense. It was a low-average-power world with a high power ceiling. Most of the Demons were under tier-6. I only had to be there for a day. And hopefully, I wouldn’t be in direct danger. The Angel Exterminators should ignore me and mine since we were still Human and not Sinners or Demons. With any luck, I’d get in, capture some Named targets in the chaos, and get out just as quickly. Plus, I felt like First knew more than he was letting on and he was asking me to trust him.

“Excellent~” the Fae purred with a voice of pure sandpaper. “We will make the necessary arrangements. It shall not take long.”

One of my Patrons disappeared into the void, leaving First, my girls, and I to wait for its return. Silence reigned for a few minutes. I was busy brainstorming ways to keep me, Becca, and Alt alive in Hell. First looked to be patiently waiting. Becca and Alt just seemed confused by everything that was going on.

Eventually, Becca broke the silence, “Okay… I didn’t… get much of that, but I think we have somewhere we’re going next, right? And like a mission or something?”

First took it upon himself to explain, letting me continue making contingency plans, “That makes sense. You two aren’t privy to all the information Romeo has, let alone me. Basically, Romeo is in debt to the Fae because they sponsored his access to the Catalog — that’s the multiversal entity that Romeo uses to buy and sell various things, from people to powers to places. All of the things he captured in your world were put toward paying off that debt.

“That’s not all though. I also sponsor Romeo. I’m not really expecting a return on my investment so I’m free to help him however I feel fit. Like allowing Alt to stay with him, for example.

“Right now, Romeo’s first priority will be paying off his debt so he can gain a modicum of freedom within the Company and Catalog. The Fae gave him a fast but risky way to pay off the rest of his debt and he took it. I’m pretty sure this Fae isn’t trying to screw Romeo over but there’s no saying about the rest of them. They’re basically putting the rest of their investment up as a gamble. If Romeo makes it out of this next world, they’ll double or triple their profit. If he doesn’t… well, you get it.

“Still, I think he made the right choice here. It’s best to get him out from under the thumb of the wider collection of Fae as quickly as possible. He can keep in contact with this specific Fae when he’s free.

“I suggested an option with a decent chance for Romeo’s — and yours, by extension — survival. I won’t lie. It’s quite literally a biblical Hell. But the source material is much less fire and brimstone than what you would find in the Bible and it plays to Romeo’s strengths. He might be able to pick up some magic or magitech, it’s a short-duration jump, and you three won’t be immediate targets. From here, it’s up to you to come back in one piece and earn your happy ending.”

“Nova! We get to fuck up some Demons!” Becca shouted, pumping her fist and grinning ear to ear.

“Is that really all you got from all of that?” Alt deadpanned.

“Ah, how nostalgic…” First muttered under his breath before chuckling and speaking up. “You’ll most likely be fighting Angels actually. They’re the exterminators of that Extermination Day Romeo was referring to.”

That brought Becca up short, “Ah… shit…”

Then she shrugged, “Oh well, I was probably going to Hell anyway. What difference is a dead Angel or two going to make?”

Alt stared at Becca. Her mouth fell open slightly. First chuckled at her expression and said.

“Nah, you’ll be fine. Did Romeo not mention the whole immortality benefit of the binding?”

That made Alt do a doubletake and start staring at First with her mouth gaping open even more, “The WHAT?!”