Lith's Diary - February (Patreon)

Dear Diary,
I just glanced at my last diary. That trip seems so long ago now! I guess that means I've been pretty busy. Which is true, there's always been more to get done, and when I manage to find time for myself I tend to jump into playing something. One way or another, every day has been packed! No wonder I've been feeling tired.

Just the last few days... hmm. It's hard to find friends when you're out of school. You grow up being constantly thrust into social situations with lots of different people on a regular basis, and it's easy to meet some folks and maybe make a few friends. But after that, we get set in our ways and only tend to meet so many people... I mean, I still have lots of... friends... just not the kind for sharing my more geeky interests in. Mostly.

So it was very strange --the more I think about it, the more strange it seems-- that when I went to get some fast food the other day, the guy behind the counter asked me out of the blue if I played Magic. It's a card game for nerds, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before. I guess I've just got that nerd look? And the truth is that I used to play it a lot, but for lack of appropriate friends lately, my collection had been collecting dust... And that's what I told him. Next thing I know we're going out to play a couple games, and I really missed the game. It felt great to take my old decks for a spin!

Well, we only played for maybe two or three hours, but that was enough. When I got home, I pulled my collection out again, and since then, what free moments I've had I've been dedicating to sorting through all the cards I'd been meaning to put into decks. I'd kept buying cards for a while before I realized there hadn't really been a point with nobody to play with... ah haha. So for a few days I've just had stacks of cards everywhere I could put them halfway safely, bits and pieces of this deck or that I really hope to play someday. It might seem silly to spend so much time on that when I've hardly played any actual games, but in a way, building decks is my favorite part of the game.

I'll try to keep this simple, since I'm not sure if you know anything about the game. I've heard some people actually have lives! Well, usually when you build a deck, a normal person would get powerful cards that work well together and try to make, say, a really fast deck, or a slow deck that stops fast decks while building up to overwhelm them. There's tons of variety past that, but you'd usually just go for what's most powerful, right? Lots of people do.

Me, I like to build... weird things. I have some of the newest cards, and some of the oldest cards, cards that were never meant to be played together, but sometimes I can find really interesting combinations. Sometimes they're powerful, sometimes they're versatile, sometimes they can win the game instantly, but come at high risk. I love to build decks around ideas that I find interesting for redefining how the game works, or where every card builds atop all the rest to thrust my side toward victory at an odd angle just a little off from the norm. I don't look at cards just for their power level, but for how they might interact with any of the other cards in my collection to create something greater than the sum of the parts.

So in a way, I guess building decks is sort of a... a creative outlet for me. I take an idea from a few basic pieces, build and build on it, then refine it, taking out all but the most important pieces, until I have a deck that's really good at doing something completely different from every other deck I have. It's kind of like... some players build decks like they're racecars, and I'm building my decks like they're catapults, or rockets with seatbelts. They'll get there, probably, but they'll do it their own way. And it's a lot of fun to me, every step of it. Even if it is really slow and boring sorting through hundreds or thousands of cards.

Anyway, that's just been the last few days for me. What else... Hmm. I mentioned my other friends. I don't talk about them much, do I? Well, they've been doing well, as far as I can tell. Very... healthy. I um... Haha. Maybe there's a reason I don't talk about them very much. I can't really think of anything to say that d-doesn't, um...

S-so, yeah! Things have been going pretty good overall, I guess. Keeping really busy, even when I'm having fun, um, one way or another. Still feel like I need to find more time to just relax and think, but these days whenever I try that I tend to just fall asleep pretty quick. And then when I'm trying to fall asleep, I lie awake thinking instead. Drives me nuts!

I hope you've been keeping busy in a good way, Diary. I've been thinking about it, and that's actually something I find I hope for a lot. When I was younger, I liked the idea of just getting to be lazy all the time, but when I'm reading or watching a movie, I actually get really excited just relating to characters that get the chance to really put their abilities to good use, to accomplish great things through a mix of talent, cleverness, and determination. To feel like you're really making a difference. I dunno. Maybe I'm just getting kind of boring with my dreams. But it's good to feel like you've accomplished things, like you've spent your time and abilities well...

Well. If nothing else, I know you've been helping me out. I do appreciate how you've been there for me, and how you've helped keep things going. I'm... not super thrilled with what's going on through that glass door right now, but um. It does look like we have things to accomplish. Goals to meet. Hopefully, together, we can do what needs to be done. I'm pretty... uneasy... about all this, but at least I've got you with me. That counts for a lot.

So, thank you, Diary. Keep on being great in everything you do, okay? We'll talk again soon.

-Lith