Health Problems & Diagnoses (Patreon)

Hi, guys. 

Y'all have... obviously noticed a change with how things have been going with the comic. In the past, I've been pointing my finger mainly at my current position on the Animaniacs reboot as the reason for these changes, but to be perfectly honest that's been something of a half-truth, and I would like to apologize for misleading you in this way.

Something that every content creator on the Internet has to deal with is how much of themselves they choose to share with the public, and generally, health and wellness are very personal and private issues, but when it begins to interfere with my obligations and delivery of content to you, I think that's when I need to start being honest and transparent with you. 

---

Obviously, Yoko has been no stranger to health problems in the past, but it was only relatively recently that she discovered that her multitude of issues may have a singular source. "Tumor" is a very big and very very very scary word, and it is absolutely and completely understandable that she had to have some space to both deal with this issue as well as her other very big and IRL responsibilities. This is why the colors of the comic have recently been flats-only.

After a whole 30 years on this earth and an entire complicated childhood of refusing to acknowledge Mental Health and Illnesses, I finally started going to therapy late last year. I was 85% percent sure I had an anxiety disorder, but the specialist I was seeing needed some time to formally arrive at a diagnosis... which contained an additional fun surprise that I, similarly, find very very very frightening. 

---

Geez, you'd think I'd've learned by now. How many times have we done this already? It doesn't make it any less scary for me, but here goes:

I need to take a break again.*

*Frankly, taking breaks, hiatuses, missing updates, and so on and so forth, always frighten me because I want so badly to see this comic all the way through to its end. Long-time and loyal followers are aware of another comic I did not finish and had to abandon before its completion, and my worst fear is repeating that experience.
However, I also spend a lot of time thinking about how isolated I felt working on that first project, vs. just how many people are involved and who are so invested and affected by this current project (which includes you who are reading this post right this second).

---

What I would like to spend this break doing is to find and secure a Temporary Colorist to fill Yoko's position while she is taking care of herself. 

This would give me time to not only REST and further [deal with/come to terms with/focus on] my own issues without distraction, but also be proactive about the comic project as a whole and secure a means of motivation to work ahead on it in a way that isn't too creatively draining. This time without Yoko has taught me that I can't work on a project entirely by myself. I need to have someone to work alongside and who I feel is depending on me (because I won't do something solely for myself, I guess? Oh, Depression, I've got your number now. I know your tricks). 

I'm not sure what will happen from here, but it does feel like DotL is on the verge of some sort of big change. Yoko may or may not decide to return to her position on the comic due to circumstances outside of her control and/or for personal reasons stemming from Real Life responsibilities, and although that is a scary thought, it is understandable and can be dealt with.

---

Daughter of the Lilies has always been about Mental Illness to a certain extent, whether or not I realized it at the time I started the story, and Book II is largely about Thistle being honest with herself and others about her issues, learning about herself and them, and learning to reach out for help. So if anything, this feels like an appropriate and well timed thing to happen in my own personal life. It also... pretty much guarantees that my personal investment in writing and telling this story remains strong and hearty. 

The only reason DotL exists as it does today is because of the work and help of many people, including but certainly not limited to all of you teaching me when I need to acknowledge my own limitations and (let's be real) you giving me permission to rest when I need to. 

Okay, I spent a lot of time talking here, so I'll try to wrap this up quickly:

• I'm not sure how long this break will last, but I'm hoping it'll only be a month.
• I will be sending out cold-call emails to people whose style I think would be a good match for the comic. If y'all want to share any leads or people you think would be worth looking into, you can absolutely send those along to me at any time.
• I will update the site tomorrow with this comic, but with our health information blotted out because there are still some people IRL that I haven't told about my own situation yet, along with a general call for Filler Submissions.
• I will continue to update the site regularly with Filler Content during my absence. 
• I will do my gosh diddly darn best to keep you all informed as to what's going on with me during this time, but I will absolutely and completely understand if you choose to step away yourselves and support me here once comic updates resume.
• How interested are you guys in seeing the Spider-Man comics I've been making to fill this gap?

Thank you very, very much for reading, and your incredible patience with me during this entire time. I'm really looking forward to your feedback.