Diaper Update 8/20 (Patreon)

An aspect of extended diaper use that isn’t well represented in diapered smut is the emotional “Proccess” one goes through when becoming 24/7. It’s different for everyone, but for this Month’s update, I wanted to focus on how I’ve processed becoming diapered 24/7.

There’s a lot of excitement at first, especially the first few weeks. I remember feeling so ecstatic that I was finally going through with this secret life obsession of mine. I’ve worn a lot of diapers in my life. Tapping that first Bambino on though when I officially started 24/7? Bliss. It felt right. I was finally able to express this part of me. I didn’t have to hide it. I could be the diaper girl I’ve always wanted to be and feel zero guilt about it.

The sexual excitement too was off the charts. I don’t masturbate every day, but for a solid week after getting into them, I was rubbing myself silly. It was so hot to fill up diapers all day. I have this fetish just as much as you do, so of course using them was going to be a huge turn me on for me. 

That initial burst of excitement started to fade around December.  In no means was I not enjoying my diapers! But that continuous thought process of, “I’m wearing diapers again!” Was starting to morph into, “My regular underwear is diapers now!” Which was an oddly strange feeling to deal with. Most people in this world don’t go from diapers to panties then back to diapers. They typically stay in that panties phase for the rest of their life. Part of me started to feel a little guilty, purely from the social pressure of wearing. What I’m doing is taboo. Wearing diapers in public isn’t a normal act. I’ve had my own mechanisms to deal with these thoughts since December, and I care a lot less now almost 8 months later. But it can still flare up sometimes. It’s just a natural thought process that continues to fade as I keep wearing.

Once February rolled around, I started feeling generally frustrated about my diaper use. I wasn’t seeing the results I thought I would at that point. I thought by month 3 I’d be having accidents at that point, but I was no where close yet. I had some regular close calls while I was drunk, and one or two when sober, but in general I was still just as potty trained then when I first started. That can wear you down emotionally. I spent everyday working on my diaper training. It was rightly frustrating not seeing a whole lot of results up to that point. 

I read a lot of more first account stories at that point. It made me feel better knowing most people didn’t experience loss of bladder control by month 3. It gave me my “Second Wind” so to speak. I doubled down on my diaper use, and to be honest, Covid was a huge help for that. Staying at home 24/7 let me wear diapers all the time, basically every day. That’s really when I started becoming quite the potty pants…

Most of you remember my posts the last couple months. They’ve centered around the latest emotional phase in my diapered quest. Dealing with the fact I’m becoming urinary incontinent. There’s so much I’ve had to process there. The first step for me was just trying to figure out if this was something I even wanted to become. It’s easy to lose your bladder control. You just have to wet yourself into that point. But coming back from that is a lot harder. It’s basically a life choice that follows you around wherever you go.

Most days I’m okay with it. If I had to pick diapers or panties for the rest of my life, I can honestly say 100% in my heart I’d rather be diapered. That is so unlike how anyone else wants to live their life though, and that can be hard sometimes. I have to be strong about it. I have to break down the social norms in my head that make diaper wearing seem taboo. 

In the end, I see myself continuing my diaper journey at least until the fall is over. I have a feeling I’ll keep working from home through least December because of the second covid wave. I won’t be wasting that 24/7 diapered opportunity!!!! We’ll see how my potty training is at that point. At the speed I’m going I’ll probably be close to dependent by then.

My daytime accidents are getting more frequent. For the most part I dribble a little into my diapers almost every day. About once or twice a week I’ll have a quarter-bladder accident. About 3-5 times a month I’ll have a genuine, full bladder accident in my diaper. That normally only happens if I’m drinking a lot though and peeing through diapers like crazy. If I’m drunk, I NEED to be diapered. I’ll pee my pants without realizing guaranteed (It’s already happened multiple times @_@). 

Becoming 24/7 has been a journey of my emotion way than anything else. Your bladder muscles don’t care if they’re strong of weak. It’s all about what you want. If you’re okay with the fact you need diapers instead of the toilet, then the rest will fall into place. I’m working on that last part. But I really think I’m getting there. 

I’m sorry this hasn’t been automatic, my friends! I wish, just like you, that I was completely incontinent by now and writing all about it. This process just takes a lot longer than I think we realize. There’s no magic amulet or wishing star that will put me in diapers forever, no matter how many stories I may right saying otherwise XD. 

Stick with me here, guys! I’m not giving up, and I hope you don’t on me either. I can feel the next two-three months will define my diaper dependence for the rest of my life. 

Thank you as always for reading. Be safe, and as always, feel free to message me if you have any questions or want to chat about my training 😊!

MC