Blonde Daze (Patreon)

Blonde Daze - Deeping Down: https://www.patreon.com/posts/blonde-daze-down-96407107

...

In the midst of a roaring crowd, the band "Iron Shred" was tearing up the stage. The lead singer, 32 year old Mark "Mauler" Jensen, a man known for his towering stature and thunderous voice, was in the middle of belting out a new song. The crowd roared and sang along wildly to one of his hits

"Blondes with brains so light, they float away, can't even get a single word right every day."

But as these words echoed through the venue, something incredible happened. Mark's muscular frame began to shrink and contort, and within moments, he stood transformed into a petite, skinny 22-year-old blonde woman, wearing a pink short top, a tight skirt, and her hair styled into two blonde pigtails.

The audience, however, seemed not to notice. Because of a curse from an old woman who despised Mark's mockery of blondes, reality itself had shifted. In this altered world, Mark "Mauler" Jensen was always "Glitter Candy," the poppy blonde bombshell due to the curse he received for his stereotypical song

Stunned, he tried to continue, but his voice came out high-pitched and airy, “I’m... I’m not... What the-?” His voice, once deep and booming, was now high and airy, bubbly tone. The audience, however, seemed oblivious to the dramatic change, cheering and chanting a new name, “Glitter Candy! Glitter Candy!”

"Like, oh my gosh, this is so weird! I'm not Candy, I'm... I was Mark... I mean that i'm, like, 'Mauler'!" the crowd picked up the words of Mark, who did not expect such a response to his words, which he uttered in a manner completely alien to himself. "Blonde Daze! Blonde Daze! Blonde Daze!" they chanted the name of the song from Candy’s repertoire and cheered loudly when the music finally turned on, very different from Mark’s usual repertoire. It was a melodic pop backing track light, with a very simple poppy beat.

He opened his mouth to explain, to shout out his confusion, but what came out were lyrics to a song he had never heard before and with each verse he received more and more shock not only from the fact that for some reason he knew the lyrics of the song, but also from the meaning of the text that described his new life.

...

(Chorus)

"Like, oh my gosh, this is, like, so weird!

Not Candy, no, I was, you know, Mark, it's smeared.

Called 'Mauler', now in pink, I'm geared,

In this blonde world, it's just as I feared."

(Verse 1)

Once rocked stages, now twirl in skirts,

Life's so flipped, it's like, totally berserk.

Heels and gloss, where I, like, lurk,

For my bad boy, goin' totally, like, irk.

(Chorus)

Like, oh my gosh, can't believe, like, I'm here!

From Mark to Candy, it's so, like, unclear.

Mauler's gone, in this blonde sphere,

In a world of giggles, drowning a tear.

(Verse 2)

Fantasies wild, with my bad boy toy,

In this blonde life, it's a new kind of joy.

Once a man, now just a coy,

Living this dream, like a girly ploy.

(Bridge)

Like, hearts and stars, in my eyes swirl,

In his arms, I'm just a blonde girl.

Deep inside, memories unfurl,

Mauler's shadow in a blonde whirl.

(Chorus)

OMG, like, what's even real?

Was Mark, now Candy, it's such an ordeal.

From rock to pop, it's a new feel,

In this blonde world, spinning a wheel.

(Outro)

Like, steamy dreams with my bad boy,

A fantasy life, like a new toy.

Inside, a man's past, a decoy,

In this blonde life, it's a different ploy."

...

As the last notes of "Blonde Daze" faded, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause, but Candy, formerly Mark "Mauler" Jensen of Iron Shred, stood dazed and confused. Inside, she still Mark, it overwhelmed him. He liked that they sang along with him, but at the moment he suddenly felt uneasy. He looked down again to see that the breasts that were constantly dangling during his ridiculous dances were real. Those were tits, his tits! The two pigtails still tickled his shoulders unpleasantly. It was kind of crazy.

The crowd was ecstatic. The song he had just sung, though truly one of hits, felt like a humiliation of his true self - Mark "Mauler" Jensen. Gathering his thoughts and with a hesitant voice, feeling strong emotions of indignation, Mark decided that he needed to end this and leave the stage, and holding the microphone in his hands he had to explain to the audience, because this is all complete nonsense. "Like, okay everyone, I've gotta be super real with you, alright? I'm, like, totally not feeling this whole 'dumb blonde' vibe, you know? 'Cause, like, inside, I'm actually Mark, and this is, like, so not me!"

The crowd of spectators recognized the first lines of the next hit Glitter Candy and cheered loudly while the unthinking Mark looked towards the exit from the stage. His eyes stared at the smiling guy who was looking at Mark and making a gesture as if he was slapping Mark on the ass. Mark's eyes opened with indignation and surprise, but the downside of the new song had already begun.

"No, like, seriously! This is, like, super weird for me! I'm, like, look sooo stupid now, like a pop princess!" the crowd roared even louder and Mark was about to throw the microphone, but suddenly he felt that he needed to say even more. Making a serious face as if he were cool and standing in a strange pose, more like a caricature of a cool rapper, Mark began to the beat of the music to say what he was thinking and was once again shocked inside by this

(Chorus)

"Yo, yo, listen up, I'm like a princess, not plain,

Living as a blonde, with my fame, my reign.

But, like, for real, this is so not me,

I'm a diva, a queen, not just free and easy!"

(Verse 1)

"Like, I love my makeup, and my skirts, oh so mini,

Being rich and blonde, yeah, I winnie.

My guy, he pays, 'cause I'm his bunny,

A cool, dumb blonde, with my sweet, sweet honey.

Like, shopping spree, in my high heel shoes,

I'm the blonde gangster, making headline news.

He gets me cool gifts, I can't refuse,

Thanking him later, with my blonde muse."

(Chorus)

"Yo, yo, like, really, I'm a princess, not just some chick,

In this blonde world, I'm the top pick.

But, like, honestly, this is so not me,

I'm a star, not just a blonde, can't you see?"

(Verse 2)

"Like, my man's so rich, gives me all the bling,

Makes me feel special, like a spring fling.

I'm his doll, his blonde, cool thing,

Living this life, like I'm in the ring.

Like, I thank him, 'cause he's my king,

For every gift, for every shiny ring.

I'm living large, under his wing,

Being a dumb blonde, it's my thing."

(Bridge)

"Like, living as Candy, it's all glitter and show,

But deep down, there's more, just so you know.

I'm not just a blonde, I steal the show,

There's more to me, than just a blonde glow."

(Chorus)

"Yo, yo, like, seriously, I'm a princess, not a bore,

In this world, it's me you adore.

But, like, for real, this is so not me,

I'm a queen, a diva, not just blonde and free!"