Ring of Lust Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Helluva Boss parody: Christmas Special

Ring of Lust
This was where it happened, where things took a striking turn. Blitz wished to spy on M&M’s date, but in order to get into Ozzie’s he needed a date. So he called in a favor, calling Stolas not realizing how this night was gonna change things, for the both of them.

AN: To make things in order Blitz’s name as written is Blitzo and he says the O is silent now, but he still writes his name with the O, so while it is written it will be Blitzo and when spoken it’ll be Blitz, the exceptions being when characters say his name despite his feelings on it or not knowing the o is silent now.

Chapter 1 Ozzie’s

Blitzo and the imps Moxxie and Millie had just finished a big job in the living world. Loona opened the portal and brought them home. Blitzo was eager to celebrate, wanting to take M and M out for drinks, but as it happened it was their wedding anniversary.

One year together, ups, downs, lots of love and happiness. Loona was distracted having her own plans for tonight.

Ozzie’s was a club in the Lust Ring, it was a really popular place, being booked months and months in advanced. Moxxie had this planned. “So Sir, I’m taking my wife to Ozzie’s.”

“Okay I’ll see you two lovebirds there.”

“Blitz this is our anniversary.” Millie said, trying to be clear and respectful.

“Uh huh!” He nodded.

“Why don’t you call Stolas up, you can go out and drink with your boyfriend.” She sing songed.

Blitzo twitched in annoyance. “Millie for the hundreth time, he’s not my boyfriend, what we have is business!” Moxxie rolled his eyes. His boss’s issues aside, he just didn’t want anything spoiling this night for them.

“Sir you aren’t coming.” He said. “This is just for the two of us!”

“Yep, I’ll see ya there.” He said and left.

“You know he’s gonna follow you right?” Loona said.

“Yes…” Moxxie groaned. Millie kissed him, taking him to smooch city before they headed to Lust.

Blitzo did indeed follow them, though he ran into trouble at the club. Blitzo had no reservation and no date, so he wasn’t allowed inside. ‘Satan fucking damn it!’ There was someone he could call, but he didn’t want to.

He liked to tell himself that their relationship was just a transaction, a fuck for favors. It was like a security blanket he clung to.

Blitzo tried to flirt with the bouncer and promptly got tossed in the trash. If he wanted to get in, he had no other choice. He called Stolas.

“Hey Stolas...you aren’t busy tonight are you?” He was not. Stolas was lounging about watching some Hella Novellas and eating cereal. “Can you meet me in Lust? There is a club I’d like us to check out.”

“Are you...asking me out on a date Blitzy?”

“Well...I...yes...yes I am!” Stolas’s feathers ruffled in delight.

“I’ll be there in a bit, see you soon Blitzy!” Stolas got ready, dressing rather dashingly.

He opened a portal and made it to Lust in a flash, the time he took was purely getting ready. Stolas strutted out with all the confidence and swagger he could muster as a prince of hell.  ‘Wow he looks...good...Did he get all dressed up for me…’ Blitzo shook his head. ‘Focus Blitz!’

His tsundere switch was flipped. “Looking quite fancy there Stolas?” He crossed his arms.

The bird demon’s confidence crumble like a feather. “Oh well I just wanted to dress nice for you.” He played with his collar. “This is our first date after all.”

Blitzo’s eyes widened. “Right...so it is…” Something gnawed at his insides.

The bouncer tried to bounce Blitzo out of there, but upon Stolas intervened he bowed and let them pass. The imp couldn’t help himself and he flipped off the bouncer.

They were sat at a table, their waitor was a succubus. “Shall I get you off...I mean...start you off with some wine.” Blitzo was totally distracted trying to spot Millie and Moxxie.

‘Gotcha!’

Stolas ordered for them, getting both white wine and red. He tried to make small talk, which distracted Blitzo from his goal of spying. ‘Why is he talking to me about my day? Does he care? Of course not!’

“How did you kill them?” Stolas knew enough about Blitzo’s work, he got punishment/revenge for sinners, going to the mortal realm to take lives. Was this legal? It was a bit of a gray area, as demons messed with mortal lives all the time, apparently cherubs did this kind of work though it was blessings.

It was thanks to Stolas’s book that allowed Blitzo access to the living world. The grimoire had some serious magical mojo, Blitzo didn’t know it but he had some serious dark magic. They only used it to open portals but it wasn’t meant to be in the hands of anyone but him. “I dunno bullets, a chainsaw or two, it was a mess...in a good way...it was awesome!”

“You know...I remember...well…” He rubbed his neck.

“Remember what?” Stolas blushed.

“We were kids, it doesn’t matter.” Blitzo began to panic.

‘Oh shit, does he know I stole from them?’

“It does matter, what is it?” Stolas smiled at him.

“You said you would hire me.” Blitzo blinked.

“Oh...ohh...ohhh!” He remembered now, it was after the “pirate game”. The little imp ran his mouth talking about what a big shot he was gonna be one day, that once he had a big office, he’d run an awesome business and be the best boss ever. “Right…”

“Well, do you think I’m qualified?”

“You wanna work for me?” He pointed between them.

“I think it’d be fun!”

“Don’t you have royal, important, galactic, phenomenal, cosmic stuff to do?”

Stolas chuckled. “Well yes, but I can do my duties and have plenty of free time. Now that Octavia is mostly grown, Stella and I are separated I have lots of free time on my hands.” Too much time honestly.

Blitzo’s tsundere switch was flipped again. “Uh-uh no way, I can’t have some horny bird working for me, we run a serious business!”

“I understand, I could certainly contain myself, especially if we can have nights like these.” He took Blitzo’s hand, making the imp blush.

Before Blitzo could give a proper answer, Fizzeroli took the stage. “Oh no, not him!”

“Isn’t that the chap the robo Fizzie at Loo Loo Land was based on.” Indeed it was. Fizzeroli and Blitzo had history. Not plesant history at that.

What’s more, this club had the big Ozz himself, Asmodeus was in the house, the Lord of Lust! Hearing that had Stolas panic a bit. He may have been demon royalty, but he was no match for a Lord of Sin.

Asmodeus was observing his club, like Bee, the Queen of Gluttony, he could feel the emotions in the air. All lusts were like flavors, ever hear someone call someone else vanilla, it’s because it literally is vanilla. That’s what it tastes like to the lord, and the hellborn Incubi and Succubi. All the other kinks in the world had a flavor and Asmodeus could tell them all apart.

If Kinks were flavors emotions were the sprinkles/fixins on top. He could tell by it all what’s what.

‘Could things possibly get worse…’ Blitzo face palmed. He shouldn’t have even thought it. Of course it could.

Not only was Asmodeus in the house, so was Blitzo’s ex Verosika Mayday. ‘Fuck me!’

“One of the best succubi singers we got in hell, she’s gonna be headlining tonight.” The crowd cheered, and she struck posses as cameras flashed.

Moxxie grimaced. “Oh no, not her!” M&M remembered her, she got into it with Blitzo, and yeah their break up sounded crazy. Things only got worse as she took his parking space, and had her crew jump Moxxie, so Blitzo challenged her.

Because of her, a giant monster fish was unleashed, to avoid getting in trouble in hell she gave in, letting Blitzo win. They did get in trouble in the human world, but nothing sucking a lot of dick didn’t fix. “Oh crumbs...I hope she doesn’t try anything.”

Moxxie had signed up to sing, the club offered an open mic, for people to sing their hearts out. Fizzeroli introduced him and he got up on stage.

His song was quite lovely. Some might believe a love song in a lustful lounge wouldn’t fly, and only some might be right. For Succubi and incubi what they do was what they existed for, it was their job, and they sure as hell enjoyed their work. Loving someone, truly loving someone, it was rare for them.

So having a love song fill the air, they could taste it. Pure and sweet love. Night after night people sung out their desires, giving all manner of flavors to the club, it helped get people randy, spurring on feelings and desires to get it on! Every now and then you crave something different.

Moxxie’s love for Millie was sweet, ultra sweet even. It had the incubi getting all cudly. Imps, Hellborn, and Hellhounds alike were getting swept up by the song, the drums of lust were still beating out just seasoned differently.

How was Asmodeus taking it...well…

Fizzeroli was up in his booth and he pulled the imp close. “Ozz?”

“Shh!” Fizzeroli couldn’t help but grin and cuddled into the large sin.

The two were secretly dating, but often had to hide their relationship for reasons. Fizz cuddled into Asmodeos’s large body, feeling the man sling an arm around him.

It was a common misconception that lust was absent of love, or they were polar opposites. While Lust didn’t NEED love to happen, that didn’t mean it didn’t want it.

Now some patrons were bored with Moxxie’s soft core song, but didn’t say anything, many of them had lost, sold, or traded their ability to love away, so the song couldn’t reach them it was what it was. However for one, the song was annoying.

Believe it or not, it wasn’t Blitzo. Moxxie’s song was simple, pure, honest, full of all the love he had for his wife. It was something he wanted, something he yearned for. After getting a big heeping dose of Truth Serum, Blitzo had to get in deep with his emotions. Some of them scary...Moxxie and Blitzo had promised each other they would do better going forward.

He looked at Stolas, who was shedding a tear, clearly enjoying the imp’s song. The song of love was speaking to him. ‘Blitz…’

‘Stolas…’ Blitzo stared at him. ‘Don’t...you know it’s not true, why would he love you, as if we deserve love. He’s just some royal ass hole who enjoys getting fucked by a peasant. I’m just a novelty...his play thing...I’m...nothing…’

“Blitz?” As Blitzo spiraled, he was pulled back by Stolas and Moxxie’s song.

His hand took hold of the imp’s, giving it a comforting squeeze. “I...I’m fine…” He whispered. Despite what he said he didn’t pull his hand away. ‘Don’t...you can’t fall in love with anyone...you know why...’

Mayday was sickened. She didn’t believe in love, she surrendered herself to sin, and sadly not just Lust. Wrath, Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, she was drowning herself in sin to fill the void she had inside.

She thought such a sappy song would ruin the atmosphere, but she was wrong. ‘Ugh!’ Those on dates were feeling the love vibes. Making out, feeling all warm and fuzzy. Moxxie had an early time slot, so Ozz and Fizz took this song to sneak in a make out session.

Verosika drank more Beelzejuice, trying to drown the feelings she was having. ‘This lovey dovey shit, makes me sick!’

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Moxxie was strumming his heart out.

A female voice over shadowed his, singing along but in a mocking way. “I love you, I love you, I love you, are you kidding me right now!” The crowd began to cheer as Mayday took the stage. “I remember you, a limp dick loser, who can’t handle his drink, do you even have a kink?”

“I um what?”

“Do you know where we are little man, this is the ring of lust, from the groin to the bust, in lust we trust, you’re in the house of Asmodeus.” She began to laugh as she sang. “Singing love songs in this lustful lounge, don’t make me laugh, don’t pull my leg, unless you can make me spread ‘em!”

“This lovey dovey crap doesn’t have me excited at all, but I’m sure you’re used to that being so small!” She got the crowd laughing and cheering. “You don’t have what it takes on the stage or in the bedroom, so run along little imp boy, run home to your wife, get back to your pathetic married life!”

Moxxie backed away from the Succubus. “Unless you think you can give me a thrust...show me you’re a man and give me some lust!”

“Give me a thrust!” She gyrated her hips. “Can you feel it...I wanna feel it...is it in yet...come on give me a thrust!”

Sadly for Moxxie this was hell, the ring of lust, and Verocika was not only popular, but she knew how to manipulate a crowd. She had her fans cheering for her, and sucked in the rest of the crowd.

Blitzo growled, he could tell Moxxie was uncomfortable and starting to panic. He tried to play, but was fumbling. “How pathetic, no thrust no satisfaction, this imp’s got no action. I’d feel bad for him, but I feel worse for his wiiiiiife!” She had the crowd hooting and hollering.

Millie was ready to cut a bitch!

“Knock it off Verosika, just because you wouldn’t know love if it bit you in the holes!” He stood up for them. “I’ll have you know I’ve watched these two fuck lots of times, and they got more passion and drive.

“Blitz?” Moxxie gasped.

“Blitzo…” Verosika growled.

“The O is silent now, you fucking bitch!”

“Blitzo…” Fizz growled.

“Easy froggy.” Asmodeus held him back.

Fizz took a breath. “He’s an ass hole and a piece of shit, I’m not gonna get involved in his dating life drama.”

“Listen up folks, me and this clown used to date, I gave my all to satisfy!” She sang. “But when it was my turn!”

“My turn, my turn!” The crowd called.

“He didn’t reciprocate, a selfish imp in the sheets and even worse in the streets.” She shoved Blitzo and tried to get in his face.

“Enough!” Stolas stood up, Verosika backed off as Stolas went over to help the imp up.

“Oh? Ohohoho~!” She pointed at Blitzo. “You and him? Are you serious?”  She started laughing, and the spot light fell on them both.

“Is that Stolas?”

“On a date with an imp?!”

Fizz and Ozz flinched. “What a riot!”

“My dark lord, how the mighty have fallen!” Verosika shook her hips. “I hear you had it all, power, legions, a hot wife, a loving daughter, did you really give it up so you and him could get it up!”

Her words were striking a nerve with the lord of sin and his clown lover. “You sold your life for a thrust, that’s the spirit of lust!” She touched herself all over. “From the groin to the bust, in lust we trust, in the House of Asmodeus.”

She had the crowd cheering. Fizz was taking this hard, as this was what he always feared about his and Ozz’s relationship. “A demon prince and an imp, are you some kind of simp? This has got to be a joke, how much crack have you smoked? Blitzo surely can’t compare, my dear dark lord are you not aware!” She was really tearing into Blitzo.

“You don’t know anything about me or him!” Stolas snapped. Verosika wasn’t as powerful as Stolas, but she was a succubus in the lust ring, in Asmodeus’s house, she didn’t think she could be touched here.

“Are you actually gonna defend him, isn’t he just a cheep thrill, a plaything?” Blitzo flinched at that.

“No…” He stood up and got between her and Blitzo. “You think I traded my life away, you don’t know the hell I’ve been in. Then he came back into my life, my first friend, and I felt alive for the first time in years.”

Blitzo looked at Stolas in shock. “Are you saying you actually have feelings for this asshole!” The crowd gasped.

“Such words are not meant to be said in the heat of the moment, not to justify your accusations. I am on a date with him, and I’d like to get back to it, without your interruptions.” He looked to Moxxie. “Little one if you would please.”

Moxxie bowed. “Yes, your highness!” He began to strum his guitar.

“Stolas, what are you doing?”

“I’d like us to dance, your little friend is quite musical.” He pulled Blitzo close as the spotlight changed from red to purple.

Blitzo blushed. “Stolas...everyone is staring…”

“Blitz...just look at me, focus only on me right now...I got you!” Blitzo began to move with Stolas, dancing to the melody Moxxie played.

The whole club began to fill with stars and planets as if Stolas pulled them into space. Moxxie and Millie got to cuddle on a crescent moon as he played.

Blitzo was lifted up by stars, allowing him to dance with Stolas on equal footing. “I don’t care if you are of lower station, you are more to me then some dark temptation.” Stolas began to sing.

“Oh how I long to hear your voice, even with you here, in my arms I am overtaken, with feelings so clear!” Blitzo felt his heart fluttering as the two moved through space. “I am terrified, petrified, so dearest I shall give you this choice!”

‘What is he saying?’

“I am here, I can give you anything you need, or do you want to hear me plead.” Blitzo could feel Stolas trembling. “Just look my way, see me, not one of noble station out of reach. I am here!” He held Blitzo’s claw and snaked an arm around him, the two twirling through the stars.

“There is so much that I don’t know, so tell me before we both grow cold. You don’t seem to understand, let me explain!”

“Stolas…”

“The nights I’ve cried, you’ve made me laugh again. I’ve been so cold, doing as I was told, but you make me WANT for myself. Words like knives have cut me deep, my sloth consumption helped me sleep, but never dream. With you I can dream again!”

“All I’ve known is deals and contracts, so I tried to keep you close with what I knew, this was my mistake. Forgive me, I didn’t want you to vanish away, I wanted to hold you, know you, to understand you…”

‘What is he saying, is he tossing me away?’

“Can you forgive me, for my selfish request. I know now I must give you the choice. I will try to make amends, for letting you feel like means to an end. I’ll look your way!”

Blitzo blushed.

“I’ll look your way!” Moxxie let the song end, and as he did Stolas leaned in close and whispered something into Blitzo’s ear.

Tears spilled over the imp’s cheeks. “Stolas...I…” He placed a talon over his lips.

“You don’t have to say anything right now...I just...wanted you to know…” The grand space they were dancing in faded back to Ozzie’s.

“That Stolas...poor guy is soft like chocolate.” Asmodeus said.

To be continued