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Sailor Moon Parody: Tier 1

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Guardian of the Moon

Usagi is the guardian of the moon, the reincarnated Moon Princess. In her past life she didn’t like to fight, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to protect her people. She learned healing and purification techniques that passed to her when she reincarnated. She is the guardian of the moon, and she will protect her home and family from evil.

Chapter 1

In ancient times a beautiful kingdom existed on the Moon. It was a time of peace and synergy with the Earth. The princess of the Moon fell in love with the prince of the Earth. Their union would have united the Moon and Earth Kingdoms together.

However a war broke out, tearing the two lovers apart. Many lives were lost as the dark powers sought to destroy. The Moon Queen Serenity used her powers to banish the dark forces and weaken their evil. Using the last of her strength she tried to save as many lives as she could using Moon Light Reincarnation.

The lost lives would go to Earth and live their lives once more. ‘I pray you will have strength to face the trials to come.’

-x-

Usagi Tsukino was just a normal 18 year old high school senior, she just wanted to have a normal life. She had no idea of the true power that laid inside her. While she could be a ditz, she had a pure heart.

Her day was starting off like normal, late for school, missing breakfast, almost forgetting her lunch. She ran as fast as she could, but noticed something strange. A few kids were messing with a stray cat. “Hey stop that!” She chased them off. “Poor thing, did they do this to you?” The cat had a bandage on her head, when removed it revealed a crescent moon mark.

The cat jumped from her arms and eyed her cautiously. “Ehh, well you are okay now so later!” she ran off.

She was late again and had to stand in the hall. “Not again, honestly. What was with that strange dream I had…?” she trailed off as her mind began to wonder.

Usagi’s Dream

She was in some kind of palace of some sort, a beautiful place like out of a famous portrait. Venturing deeper she found she was in a luxurious bed, and she wasn’t alone.

“Princess...” A man whispered into her ear. “I love you!”

“My prince...I love you too!” She was naked…

And he was naked!

They were naked in bed together, and they were doing things…

The kind of things that made Usagi’s heart flutter and her cheeks burn. It was a very intense dream, but for Usagi it felt all too real. ‘I can still feel his lips against mine, the heat of his skin, the way his muscles pressed against me. The way he moved was so strong and gentle...and he was so big!’ Usagi couldn’t help but drool a little. The dream went on and on, ending only in a grand climax. It was no wonder she didn’t want to wake up.

The way he touched her made her feel warm, the way he kissed her gave her the feeling of love she craved. His thrusts made it feel like they were one. Just as he made Usagi moan, she could make him gasp and cry out in pleasure. It was a dance, each of them making a move, every action trying to draw out pleasure from the other.

Between the sheets, she didn’t want their time together to end. Of course it did, all dreams end, be it by alarm clock, the sun, or your parent or guardian coming to wake you up.

Usagi blushed and shuddered. ‘Ugh maybe I had that dream because I still don’t have a boyfriend.’ she shook her head to snap herself out of it. Her dreams have always felt real, but that rather erotic dream was a first. “To be with a man that loves me, wouldn’t that be nice.” The man in her dream was so handsome, kind, strong, loving, and giving!

It was weird, it was as if she knew him, but also she didn’t know him. “Talk about confusing!” She sighed aloud.

They had a pretty detailed sex ed class last year, but her dream was like having a true experience. “But a dream is just a dream after all...” She sighed again.

Usagi had a more pressing issue, her grades. She may get her homework done which was fine, but when it came to tests well...it was like she was seeing a different language. To make matters worse, once the test was over and she re-read it she knew the answers no problem. “Ugh not again, another 50 pointer, I knew this one...that one...ugh this is so stressful.”

Her friend didn’t know what to tell her. “Maybe you should get a tutor, one that can help you deal with test anxiety.”

“Tutors haven’t worked out in the past.” They usually talked too fast or treated her like she was dumb, which didn’t make learning from these assholes fun or stick. Even when she told them about her issues they simply scolded her, saying she wasn’t trying hard enough.

Naru tried to take Usagi’s mind off it, by telling her about the latest Sailor V news. “Sailor V? Who is that?”

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard of her, she took on a couple of thieves and has been bringing down the crime numbers.”

“You don’t say.” She had no idea the girl was so popular, they even added a video game about her at her local arcade. “So there are people like that, huh...”

-x-

After school Usagi and Naru went to her family’s jewelry store. The place was packed, apparently everything was on sale, almost insanely so. Naru’s mom was selling 500,000 jewels for only 30,000 for example. It was crazy! “Hi Naru’s mom!” Usagi called.

“Mom you remember Usagi don’t you?”

“Of course dear, welcome.” When she shook Usagi’s hand, everything went cold. A chill surged up Usagi’s spine.

‘No...this is wrong...who is this...’ Naru’s mother pulled away and tried to sell Usagi something, but only got pushed out of the way by the mob. “Naru...is something off with your mom?”

“Hmm, well she’s been kinda weird since yesterday, why do you ask?”

“Oh it’s nothing I must not be feeling well is all.” She chuckled and left. With her latest test, and what little allowance she had, no shopping today. ‘This sucks, stupid test, stupid anxiety, I hate feeling like this.’ She walked home passing by a strange guy wearing shades.

He was eyeing the jewelry store ominously. ‘What a weird guy, he is kinda handsome though.’ She shook her head. ‘Who am I kidding, I’m no one special, what guy would be interested in me.’

Every guy in school knew Usagi Tsukino, she wasn’t the smartest, or the most athletic, and her reputation as a ditz had carried from Middle School. Naru knew the truth, Usagi may trip and fall but she always got back up, and she tried to study, but if you saw how homework only made a fraction of her grades, her failed tests crippled her academic curve. ‘Usagi you try too hard sometimes, just be yourself and you’ll meet someone special, she tells me.’

Her mother said Usagi could be like her cooking, might look weird on the outside but full of love and goodness on the inside. She didn’t know if she was saying that because it was true or it was just a mom thing to say.

She looked at the Sailor V game poster. “She’s so cool, I wish I could be like her, she seems so cool, confident, and I bet fighting bad guys would make ya feel good.” She walked home unaware of a certain black cat following her.

Usagi wasn’t aware of this, or of the looming threat that was coming.

-x-

When the Moon Queen banished the evil forces it stripped their ruler of their energy, but the soldiers had a plan. They needed the Moon Silver Crystal, but until they found it they decided to steal human energy to replenish their great ruler.

Jadeite was already on the move, hatching a plan to steal energy from people.

-x-

Usagi made it home, and her mother saw her test score. “So you did it again Usagi.”

“Yeah, sorry...” she hung her head in apology.

“I think we need to try the tutor option again.”

“But Mom...” she raised a hand to stop Usagi.

“I know the last few haven’t worked out, but I’m gonna talk to your teacher about this.” She rested a hand on her shoulder. “You are a bright girl Usagi, I think you just get caught too much in your own head. I think with the right tutor, you’ll do just fine.”

“Fine...” She went upstairs to do her homework.

Meanwhile…

The women at the jewelry store were having their energy drained. More and more until they started collapsing one after another. Naru was getting panicked. “Mom...should we call an ambulance, I think everyone is getting sick.”

Naru’s mother cackled evilly, and her head twisted all the way around scarring her.

-x-

The black cat slipped into Usagi’s room. “Usagi Tsukino I have come for you!”

She froze and began to sweat. “Oh man I must be studying too hard, I swear that cat just talked.”

“This isn’t a dream, you saved me earlier, with that bandage on my head my sensory powers were sealed and I lost the ability to talk.” Usagi still couldn’t believe it. “My name is Luna, and I’ll prove to you this isn’t a dream.” She jumped in the air and did a summer-salt and summoned a magical broach. “This is for you.”

Luna warned Usagi of a dangerous enemy. “I need your help, please become the Guardian of the Moon and transform into Sailor Moon!” Usagi was still thinking this was all a dream, her dreams felt so real to her so why not just play along.

She transformed and became Sailor Moon! ‘Wow this is so cool, I look just like Sailor V.’ she thought with a chuckle. Upon transforming she felt knowledge flowing into her. Luna had a bad feeling Usagi still didn’t believe her.

“Listen Sailor Moon, we need your help to find the other guardians and the lost princess.”

“Sure I’ll help you, why not!” Suddenly she sensed a chilling force.

“Someone please...help me...” the charms in her hair were picking up the distress call.

“Naru is in trouble!” Sailor Moon rushed to the jewelry store where she found people drained of their life energy and her friend Naru was held by the throat by a monster. “Stop right there monster!”

“Who the hell are you?” the monster glared. She was just about to kill Naru and intending to kill the mother in the basement.

“I’m the Guardian of the Moon, I shall protect these innocent people, and in the name of the Moon, I’ll punish you!”

“What a joke?!” the monster laughed, her claws extending. “Die!”

“Moon Light Shield!” Sailor Moon cast, creating a glowing shield between Naru and the monster.

“What the hell is this!?” She slashed at the shield but it wasn’t budging. “Who the hell are you, you bitch!” the monster turned all the drained girls into zombies. “Get her!”

“Moon Purification!” Her powers began to shine, undoing the spell, and making the monster hiss.

“What is this power?” She charged at Sailor Moon. The guardian dodged her attacks.

“Sailor Moon you gotta fight back.” Luna called out.

“But...Wah!” she dodged an attack and tripped.

“Die!” she managed to get a scratch on Sailor Moon.

Luna gave Sailor Moon some help. “Moon Tiara Action!” She threw her tiara, her magic turning it into a disk that cut through the monster, reducing her into dust. “Oh wow I did it!”

“Not bad for her first time.” A man in a tuxedo left the room as all the energy stolen was returned.

-x-The Next Day-x-

Usagi couldn’t believe that wasn’t a dream. She still had a scratch and a few scrapes from the monster attack. “So am I really doing this?”

“The enemies will keep coming.”

“Well I guess I won’t be doing this alone.”

“Once you find the other guardians you certainly won’t.”

“Usagi...your new tutor is here.”

“Great...” she went down stairs.

“We pulled some strings and found a college student with some free time. He agreed to help tutor you so be nice!”

“So long as he is I will be.”

The door opened. “Mamoru Chiba, nice to meat you meatball head!”

To be continued

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