Octo Luffy 2.0 Chapter 4 (Patreon)

One Piece parody: Mermay Special: tier 1

Chapter 3  https://www.patreon.com/posts/37719949 

Chap 4 Catering Job

The Baratie was growing more and more popular, to the point they were even offered catering jobs. They'd send two cooks to a cruise ship and would run the party and get paid. Since they were the toughest cooks on the sea they also acted as security for them against pirates. It was a new business venture, but with their staff, it would be easy.

So to be fair Zeff put up a job rotation sheet, much to Sanji’s displeasure. “Why am I not paired with Luffy, you old geezer?”

“The job rotation is completely random!”

“I want to be paired with Luffy!”

“What don’t you trust him?”

“I trust him completely its the other fools I don’t trust!” Zeff had to admit, the second Sanji was busy with something some of the chefs tried to flirt with Luffy, much to the blonde’s annoyance. There was also the guest who tried to make a move on him. He understood Luffy’s desires, just as he understood that Sanji would get a little jealous.

A catering job took time, going to a place hosting the event, and the trip back. This job was for some fancy cruise liner that wanted something extra in the food department and some protection in the case of pirates. “I don’t want to be away from my Luffy for so long!”

“Scared he’d find someone better?” Zeff teased, knowing full well Luffy would never leave Sanji. The mind flayer loved Sanji on a deeper level than anyone could really understand. The chefs knew they couldn’t take Luffy away from Sanji, and Luffy already said they weren’t his type so joining the harem also wasn’t possible. It didn’t mean they didn’t enjoy Sanji’s reaction.

Even if Sanji left the chefs would die before letting some random guy run away with the merman. “Can’t you just switch Luffy in?”

“If Luffy wants to go with you fine, but you’ll have to convince Patty to agree, and without violence!” Sanji grinned.

“That won’t be a problem.”

-x-

“Can I please go with Sanji on this catering job, I’d like to stretch my tentacles a bit!” Luffy pleaded with Patty, giving him that look. Patty caved like a souffle after a huge crash.

“We can switch...” He shot a glare at Sanji who was grinning from ear to ear.

He chuckled. ‘No one can say no to Luffy, not when he lays on his natural charm.

“Yay!” Luffy hugged Patty, and the two got ready for the job. Taking the ship out they met with the cruise liner before they set off. The guests weren’t nobles or anything super fancy like that but they had money, every guy was wearing a nice suit, every lady a fancy dress, gold, jewelry, and loose cash, this was like a pirate buffet.

‘No wonder they hired us, our five-star food and extra security against pirates.’ Sanji thought as he prepared for everything. Luffy was on server detail, he had a tray full of hors d’peuvres and was making his rounds.

“A real-life mermaid, er merman!”

“How special!”

“A rare sight, I’m so glad I came!” Luffy was a big hit with the people, but of course, there just had to be a few snobs.

“A fish serving food, is this a joke?” one rich lady said behind a fancy fan.

“I wonder how long it took them to train him to do that.”

“Probably not long, they have small minds but they can handle simple tasks.” a small group of rich pricks took turns insulting Luffy. Sanji was ready to kick the bastards minus the woman, but seeing the rich dicks get kicked should show her some manners.

“Those jerks...” Luffy caught him.

“Sanji, it’s fine.”

“But Luffy, they are insulting you.”

“They can say what they want, they don’t know me, and I don’t know them, so I don’t care what they have to say about me. It’s not worth getting mad over.” Luffy smiled at him and Sanji’s heart melted.

“If you say so,” Sanji kissed the back of his hand. “You are so special!” he whispered making the merman blush.

“Oi get back to work you!” the captain said.

“Right!” Luffy went back to making his rounds.

The three jerks got their comeuppance, as an orange-haired stud made his rounds. This lad was dressed nicely and had the charm befitting of a host club. Though men and women could be dazzled by his looks, they’d miss that mischievous glint in his eyes.

This young man was a thief, though he didn’t come to pilfer the party-goers the trio of ass holes were frankly asking for it. He was surprised to see someone of merfolk descent here, so he thought about bailing due to personal reasons, but hearing how a couple of rich snobs just ragged on him when he wasn’t doing anything annoyed the orangette. He heard what Luffy said to Sanji, having sharp ears was a necessity for a thief.

He toyed with the trio, flirting with the men and the woman, getting in close to pick their pockets. Giving Luffy some cash as a tip. “Here ya go cutie!” he winked at Luffy, before walking off.

“Thanks!” Luffy had no idea. Neither did the thief if they knew that Luffy was a pirate, things would have gotten complicated.

-x-

The thief wasn’t after the passengers, their real target was pirates. Sanji was right, this cruise liner was like pirate bait, the thief got on board to steal from any pirates that went for the hook. It wouldn’t be long before someone took the bait.

Alvida was in the area and her pirate group had spotted the cruise liner. “Go get em boys, and rob em blind!” her men cheered, while one gave a weak yeah.

-x-

“Oi Luffy, can you go down to the galley and bring me some apples, I’m gonna whip up some fruit treats.”

“Okay!” Luffy left the room and went down below, humming to himself along the way.

The attack of the Alvida pirates came suddenly, Alvida and her men swarmed the ship. “Get moving Koby!” she kicked a small pink-haired boy across the way. He rubbed his sore rear, but there was little time to wait as Alvida came swinging with a giant club/mace. “Bring me their valuables and if they can’t pay they’ll pay with their lives!”

Koby didn’t want to be a pirate, the poor boy got caught by Alvida and her crew when he got on the wrong boat to fish. He’s been their whipping boy for two years now. “You better bring something good Koby or it's your ass!”

“Yes Ma’am...” he thought food might be good so he headed down to the galley.

Alvida’s men raided the party room. “Excuse me, sirs, do you have an invitation?” Sanji asked.

One of her men pointed a sword at him. “Back off Blondie, empty your pockets and hand over all your valuables, and we might let you leave with your life!” Sanji kicked the sword out of his hand and then kicked him hard in the face.

“Oi oi, you fool you know we are pirates right?” Sanji rushed in and began kicking the crap out of Alvida’s people.

“To bad for you, so am I!” with no weapons, just his powerful legs Sanji began to wreck Alvida’s crew. “Bad Manner Kick Course!”

-x-

The thief took this chance to slip over to Alvida’s ship and began to rob them of their treasure. Koby met Luffy down in the Galley. “Who are you?”

“A merman!?” Koby gasped. “Listen you have to get out of here, this ship is being raided by pirates.”

“Pirates huh? Are you with these pirates?”

“I am, but I don’t want to be, I actually want to be a marine.”

“A marine, I may not look it but I’m a pirate too, though I’m training a bit while I raise money for a ship.”

“No way!” Koby gasped. “Are you robbing this ship too?” Luffy sat Koby down and treated him to some food.

“Nah, I’m employed by a former Pirate named Zeff, I’m learning a lot from him. He owns a sea restaurant and this liner requested his new catering work.” he made a nice meal for Koby. “Eat up!”

It looked so good Koby dug in without thinking. “Wait this is no time for eating, you have to hide Alvida’s men will be here any second.”

“I don’t think so, my boyfriend is here, and I’m sure he’s taking care of them.”

“B-b-b-boyfriend!?” the pinkette gasped and blushed.

Sanji had indeed mopped up Alvida’s men, leaving them alive, but beaten and a few bloody. With the men down it was up to the captain to handle this blonde fighter.

-x-

Koby told Luffy his sad tale of how he came to be on Alvida’s ship. Luffy shared his dream of going to the Grand Line one day and fighting to become King of the Pirates. Koby became pessimistic saying that was impossible and that he’d just end up dying, so Luffy smacked him. He was apparently used to it.

“Why don’t you run away?”

“No way, no way, I couldn’t do that, just the thought of Alvida finding me makes me so scared I feel sick.”

“Ah, so you are an idiot and a coward, I hate people like you!” Luffy said with a laugh, making Koby cry. “Wait a minute Alvida, the captain is a woman?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh oh!” Luffy stood up.

-x-

“Damn it how did things end up like this...” Sanji had a bump on his head, he was stripped naked and tied up.

“Not so tough now are you!” Alvida’s men had recovered.

“No man can stand against me the great Alvida the most beautiful woman in the sea!” She laughed.

Sanji’s chivalry wouldn’t let him kick a woman, even if that woman was an enemy. He wouldn’t run away either, so while Sanji dodged one of her club swings, one of her men got behind him and hit him hard. Alvida pinned him and Sanji got stripped to humiliate him. “Not a bad specimen.” She licked her lips.

“No thanks I have a boyfriend!” Sanji snapped.

“Then it seems I have no use for you, he’s all yours boys!”

Before they could touch Sanji be it to hurt him or do other things… “Get your hands off my Sanji!” Luffy came in, spinning like a twister, smacking the men aside and scooping Sanji up. His tentacles untied him in seconds.

“Luffy!” the two kissed and embraced.

“They didn’t hurt you did they?” Some of Alvida’s men attacked the two but Luffy’s tentacles tossed them away easily.

“No, I let my guard down.” More men attacked only to get swatted away by Luffy’s tentacles. They got knocked out.

“Their captain was a woman, I understand!” he patted Sanji’s head.

“You get me so well!” they kissed again. Luffy’s tentacles conjured Sanji’s intimate parts.

“There you are Koby, what are you doing with this fish?”

“I uh...I...” he looked to Luffy.

“My name is Luffy, I’m a pirate, but due to circumstances I’ve been hired to guard this ship.”

“You a pirate...” Alvida burst out laughing. “Do you even have a ship?”

“I’m saving up for one. I’m gonna have a big ship, with big sails and lots of cannons!” he grinned. “I already got my cook!” he squeezed Sanji who got hearts in his eyes.

“A crew of two, how pathetic. Even if you are a pirate, we are from different crews which makes us enemies. I’ll let you off this time with a warning, but I’ll be robbing this ship!”

“Nah, I’ll just have to kick your ass!”

“You...kick my ass...” she laughed again. “Koby tell this fish who I am!”

“You are...you are...” when Alvida asked who she was you had to respond “The most beautiful woman in all the seas!” if you didn’t you got the club. Luffy’s talk earlier made him want to be confident and brave. He didn’t want to run away anymore! “You are...THE BIGGEST UGLIEST COW IN ALL THE SEAS!” he shouted and Luffy laughed.

“YOU BRAT!!” Alvida raged.

“I said, I’m leaving your stupid crew, and I’m gonna join the Marines, and I’m gonna throw you in jail!!”

“Not if your dead!” she swung her club at him only to have it blocked by Luffy.

“Well said Koby, now don’t lose that conviction!” he tossed Alvida out of the room. Sanji took care of the men, putting on an apron to cover up.

“How dare you, I’m Alvida who else in the world is as beautiful as me?”

“The mermaid princess,” Luffy said.

Alvida saw red. “I’ll kill you!”

“Tsunami Strike!” Alvida was sent flying, getting pummeled by water and tentacles. The marines were called to collect Alvida’s men, but Luffy and Sanji had to make tracks with Koby.

In this situation, Koby would just be arrested with the rest of the pirates. Also, the trio of rich pricks from before who the thief stole from, had heard Luffy and Sanji admit to being pirates, and with their stuff stolen claimed they did it. Thankfully Luffy made sure to get paid for their job when they arrived. They sailed off, just missing the thief leaving Alvida’s ship with all their treasure and supplies.

“Koby, I know you want to be a marine, but how would you like a job?” Luffy asked him.

To be continued