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Hunter x Hunter parody: Tier 1

 

Chap 4 Hunter Exam Opening

Those that had passed the exam disembarked when the ship landed at the port. Other examinees who had passed were arriving as well, now it was time to find the exam site. Dolle Harbor was packed, but to be expected.  

“Thank you for the ride,” Gon said politely giving a courteous bow to the captain.  

“You are welcome, as a token of my appreciation I’ll give you a tip.” he takes out his pipe and points. “See that big cedar tree on the hilltop?”

“Uh-huh,” he nods. Past the city, past forest and atop a mountain. “You should make your way there first, it’s a shortcut to the exam site.” the captain said, little did the two know someone had overheard.  

“I got it, so I just need to head towards the cedar tree.” he bows again thanking him.  

The captain winks at Gon. “Best of luck, do be careful lot of hunters around and they won’t think twice harming a magical creature or two.” Gon nods again, giving him a smile.  

“You take care to!” he slithers off, waving good bye.  

‘Rest easy, Ging. Your son has grown up to be a good kid.’ the hunter overheard about the shortcut and proceeded to follow after Gon.  

Gon met Leorio and Kurapika at the map board. “Huh...That’s strange.” Leorio says.  

“Why?”

“According to the notice I received, the exam is supposedly being held somewhere in Zaban City.” he showed them the notice. He points to the map, showing that the cedar tree was in the opposite direction.  

“Could you have misheard him?” Kurapika asked, Gon shook his head. “I see...”  

“And this notice isn’t any help!” Leorio grumbles. “It doesn’t even say where in Zaban City we are meant to go?”

“That’s it, our task is to fing the exam site using limited amount of information.” Kurapika states. “Another test before we are even allowed to take the exam.”  

“I-I knew that! Man they sure do like weeding people out.”  

“Anyway, I’ll go have a look.” he starts to slither off. “I believe in the captain, and trust his tip.”  

“You’re serious!” Leorio gasped. “But Gon the bus to Zaban is about to leave.”  

“That’s okay I wouldn’t have fit on it anyway.” the two sweat drop at his carefree response.  

“Man...he can’t just go around trusting just anyone he meets.” he runs his hand through his hair.  

“He trusts you doesn’t he?” Kurapika says. “Hey!” Leorio glares. “Gon’s behavior interests me more than the captain’s advice.” he starts following after Gon. “I’m going with him.”

Leorio huffs and walks the other way towards the bus. “Well it wasn’t very long, but it was nice meeting you.” He passes by an alley.  

“So it was a trap...” his ear twitches. “Seems none of the buses made it to Zaban city.” two men were talking behind some crates. “Rookies usually fail this part because they’re too naive.” Leorio began to sweat.  

He quickly turned around and rushed towards the direction of Gon and Kurapika. “Wait for me!” He caught up.  

“I thought you were taking the bus?” Kurapika asked.  

“Nah, I knew Gon would be lonely without me.”  

“In your dreams.” Kurapika chides. Gon chuckles, and the move along the long road. It seems they were coming up to another city. The group was being followed, but it did little to slow them down.  

The city however appeared to be deserted, outside of crows. Caw Caw, their noise seemed to echo in the empty streets. “What a creepy place.” Leorio says, not seeing anyone but his companions.  

“There are people here, they are close.” Gon’s ears twitch. Their follower tenses thinking he was caught, but no Gon was right there were people in this town. A building’s doors opened and out came people clad in white robes wearing masks. They blocked the traveler's path, some were carrying instruments. “Who are these guy?”   

Among the weird group was an old woman. “Exciting…”Leorio gulped. “Time for the exciting two-choice quiz!” she shouts. Those with the instruments began to play.  

Gon, Leorio, and even Kurapika were stunned. “You boys are headed for the lone cedar tree on the hill, correct?” she says. “To reach it, you must pass through this town. I will pose a single question, and you will have 5 seconds to answer.”  

“What the...” Leorio didn’t like this.  

“Answer incorrectly, and you’re disqualified. You will have to give up on this year’s hunter exam.”  

“I see...so this to is apart of the Hunter Exam.” Kurapika says. ‘Just one question, only five seconds to answer.’  

“So that’s how it is.” Leorio sets his case down. “I happen to be a quiz expert. Wait, just one?”

“That’s right, your answer will be either the number 1 or 2.” she explains. “Any other answer will be seen as incorrect.”  

“Hold on, so all three of us share one question?” he points at Kurapika. “So if he gets it wrong I’m disqualified to?”  

“Unlikely.” Kurapika says crossing his arms. “It’s more likely you will make that mistake.”  

Gon chuckles. “Now now, let’s not fight we just have to answer the question then.” he rubs the back of his head. “To be honest I’m not the best at quizzes. It’ll be nice if just one of us knows it.”   

“Oi,” everyone turns. “Hurry it up.” he steps up. “Or I’ll answer the question first.”  

“Who are you?”  

“He followed us here all the way from the port.” the male looks at Gon. ‘So he did sense me, no matter.’ the trio let him answer the question first, stepping aside. The masked people bring out a podium with one of those big game show buttons on it. ‘Fools, once I get through I’ll set all sorts of traps, even if I didn’t overhear I’d still follow you, a lamia skin is worth big money even if I dropped out of the exam I’d be rich.’  

“Here is your question...” they played their instruments and a crow cawed. “Rogues have captured your mother and your lover, you can only save one, who will you save?” 1 for Mother, and 2 for your lover. The question itself surprised the trio but the follower didn’t hesitate.  

He smirked and hit the button. “The answer is 1.”  

“Oh? Why do you say that?” the old woman asked.  

“Because you can’t replace your mom, I can always find another lover.” Leorio glared at him.  

The crow cawed. “You may pass.” she says.  

“What?” Leorio gasped.  

“Hehe, you just have to tailor you answer to what the old lady wants to hear.” he says.  

“How was that the right answer!” Leorio snapped. “I won’t put up with this sham, I’ll find a different route.”  

“It’s too late!” Leorio turned back. “Refuse to take the quiz and you will be disqualified.”    

“What?!” Leorio growled. “This is ridiculous, different people would give different answers. There is no right answer, there never has been!”  

“No right answer...” Kurapika realized. “Leorio!”  

“Stop!” the old woman interrupted. ‘The cat-eyed boy has figured it out.’ she laced her fingers. “Not another word from you, say anything but the answer, and you’ll be immediately disqualified.”  

Leorio was fuming, Gon was quiet thinking heavily. ‘Leorio calm down.’

The question was given, this time choosing between your son or your daughter. “She messing with us!” Leorio hissed. He walked over and found a piece of lumber, he swung it testing it’s weight. He was getting ready to attack the old woman.  

The count down began. ‘Go ahead and count down.’ his hand tightened on the wood. “Buzz, time’s up!” she says and Leorio snapped jumping up and launching an attack on her. He didn’t make it as Kurapika blocked the strike.  

“Don’t stop me, Kurapika!” he snapped.  

“Stop Leorio, calm down, we passed.” he says, and Leorio blinked.  

“We passed?” the old woman nodded.  

“Yes you passed.” she says.  

“We gave the right answer.” he put his weapon away. “Silence was the correct response.”  

“Silence? What do you mean?”  

“You said it earlier, there is no right answer, there never has been.” the quiz had no right answer, but since they could only answer 1 or 2, so the answer was silence.  

“What about the other guy?”  

“She never said that he was right, just that he could pass.” Up ahead the male’s body would be found dead, the wrong road to the hunter exam could be quite deadly.    

The old woman smiled. “Precisely.” She showed them the correct path to take. “This leads directly to the tree.” she explains about a couple living beneath the cedar tree, they would guide them to the exam site.  

Gon sighs. “Oh man I just can’t figure out the answer.”  

The two chuckle. “You can stop now.”

“Huh? How come?”

“Gon we passed this test already.” Kurapika says.  

“The quiz is over.”  

“But what if I do have that situation?” that surprised the other two. “One day I may face a situation when I can only save one. What should I do?” the two shared a look realizing the power behind the question.  

The old woman smiled. ‘He’s figured out the true meaning of this quiz. Fate can be cruel, and tough choices hunters must face and decide. What’s abstract now may become cruel reality later, one must be ready for such crossroads in life.’

Leorio apologized but the woman simply chuckled. “Meeting people like you is why I do this.” she said. The trio headed off, going towards the tree.  

It took them a little over two hours. They came across a sign that said beware magical beasts. They reach the house beneath the tree but all was quiet. “Anyone home?”  

“Are they out?” Gon asked, Leorio opened the door and everyone gasped. The room was trashed, an injured man was laying on the ground bleeding. A large furry beast was holding a woman. The magical beast turned, eyes glowing red

“A magical beast!” everyone got into a fighting stance.  

“It’s a shape shifting magical beast called a Kiriko, they can take human form!” Kurapika explained. “Be careful they are extremely intelligent beasts.” Gon’s eyes narrowed.    

“He’s got a woman!” The beast fled.  

“Please my wife, save her!” the injured man shouted.  

“Leorio stay with the husband, see to his wounds.”  

“Got it!” Leorio opened his case. Kurapika and Gon gave chase. The lamia boy was quite fast, zipping through the woods, with his eyes the dark didn’t hinder him.  

“There!” He struck the tree the Kiriko was about to jump on causing it to shake and he lost his balance dropping the woman. Kurapika caught her.  

Gon followed after the beast, leaving Kurapika with the woman. “Darn you, you won’t get me!” Gon was shocked that he could speak, but he quickly slithered after him. Using his fishing rod he was able to land a hit on the beast.  

The beast seemed to vanish, only for one to attack Gon. He was caught between a cliff and the beast. “I’m gonna kill you,  no hard feelings even if you are a lamia, you hit me so I gotta make you pay.” The beasts claws were right in front of his eyes.  

“Umm who are you?” the beast froze. “Are you friends with that other Kiriko?” the beast started to laugh.  

“Honey come quick you won’t believe this!” No one had ever told the two apart, this husband and wife duo. Meanwhile Kurapika made his own discovery. The girl wasn’t who she said she was, she had tattoos that said she took a vow of chastity so she couldn’t be married.

Then “Leorio” showed up, to which Kurapika hit him. It was a Kiriko in disguise. “How did you know I was a fake?”  

“I didn’t completely, but if you were Leorio I’d have struck you for leaving your post.” he aimed his weapon at the girl. “Now who are you?”  

The Kiriko gathered. “It’s amazing you were able to tell us apart.” the husband and wife stood side by side with their kids.  

“Can you tell them apart?” Leorio asked.  

“Not at all.”  

Gon smiled. “The one Kurapika and I chased is the husband.” the two sweat dropped sharing a similar thought. ‘And which one is that?’  

This family of magical beasts were testing them. Gon passed of course, not only showing great physical prowess, but his skills and intuition were top marks. Kurapika saw through their disguise and showed great intellect as well as power. Leorio didn’t see through the disguise, but the level of kindness and caring as he treated his wounds earned him enough points to pass.  

The male breathed a sigh of relief and the trio shared a collective fist bump. The Kiriko were their ride to the exam site, two had to carry Gon because of his size, the other two carried Kurapika and Leorio.  

To be continued...Run Slither Run!  

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