Death Stranding: All The Way To The Outhouse (Patreon)

DAY-TONAAAAAAAAA. It's done. I have completed the body disposal. They all doubted me, the whole stinkin world said it was impossible, and for any other man they would have been right. But i ain't normal. I'm the genetic freak. My dogged tenacity and stubborn commitment to even the most pointless of bits is unparalleled in the gamer-sphere. 

I'm sure you were all getting as tired of this dour detour as i was. But next time you see this stupid game it'll finally be something different. Like a fun pizza mission or some wacky zany cutscenes. Then, on one glorious morning, we'll all wake up to find that the game is over and never has to be seen again. Probably just in time for the sequel. 

The best part of this entire game is Troy Baker hamming it up as the bad guy, and instead of showing any of that i had to carry two bodies across the earth for 6 episodes. But that's okay. That's just a little lesson in finishing what you start. I am a damn role model, after all.

Okay that's enough of looking at this patreon shit for one day. It's time to like... do some other stuff. Like... the dishes or something. Or maybe i'll just go drive around and have an adventure. Real life shit. This chair hurts my butt and I'm sick of sitting in it.