I Believe This Message Was Sent to Lady Sith in Error (Patreon)

To: All Empire HR Staff

Subject: Lady Sith's Tea-Slaughtering Habit

We regret to inform you that Lady Sith's latest Tea Slave has met an unfortunate end, bringing our current Tea Slave count down to zero (again). It seems that Lady Sith's tea-making demands have become so high that even the slightest mistake (or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time) can result in a swift and deadly punishment.

This has caused quite the dilemma for us in HR, as we're running out of new Tea Slaves faster than we can find them. Therefore, we've decided to implement a few new recruitment tactics and incentives to help with our Tea Slave shortage:

1. Switch to Coffee - We've been thinking, maybe Lady Sith would be happier (and less murder-y) if we just switched to coffee? It's worth a shot, right?
2. Encourage Remote Tea-Slaving - We're exploring the idea of hiring remote Tea Slaves, to avoid having to be in the same room as Lady Sith (and her lightsaber).
3. Improved Training - We'll be providing Tea Slaves with top-notch training and education, in the hopes of reducing the number of fatal tea-making errors.
4. Sign-on Bonuses - We'll offer a generous sign-on bonus to any Tea Slave that survives their first month on the job (because, let's face it, that's impressive).
5. Recruitment Outreach - We're branching out beyond our usual recruitment channels and reaching out to tea-loving planets across the galaxy. Who knows, maybe we'll find the perfect Tea Slave on Alderaan (oh wait...).

We understand that this is a difficult situation, but we're confident that with these new tactics and incentives, we can find and retain more Tea Slaves for Lady Sith's tea addiction. If all else fails, we may have to resort to just cloning Tea Slaves (because that's a totally ethical and not-at-all-weird solution).

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and may the Force (and Lady Sith's tea) be with us all.

Sincerely,

[HR Department]