Tutorial Rewrite 28 (Patreon)

Oh, uh, um, I was just, ah…

He takes a step towards me and with an agility I didn’t know I had I pull out the final bit of the sword, leaping through the air and forming myself into a ball as I do, hitting the ground in the perfect fetal position.

And from a worm’s perspective, I have an interesting view of how the big goblin starts looking around, startled, without even the slightest indication that he might know where I am. For some reason, I had hoped I’d never need to use this ability. But here I am, and being in the fetal position just feels right. I’m hugging my legs to my chest, putting pressure on my wound, stifling the bleeding just a little. I can’t really meditate here, but…

Uh oh. A small goblin is walking towards me.

B-, but, I mean, divinically speaking, it can’t smell, hear, see or taste me, so I should be fine. Yup. Totally fine. The fact that it’s walking towards me is just a coincidence. In fact, I can clearly see that its eyes are focused on something completely different. It might just be me, but it feels a little like the small goblins don’t understand the situation too much. The big one has pulled his Excalibur from the ground and is currently in a battle-ready position, looking around like he might be attacked at any moment, and the small goblins are sort of just… being. Except for this one that’s walking towards me. Getting closer. And closer. And…

—And it just stumbled over me!

“Ah!” it cries as it stumbles and falls.

Damn it, invisible or not, I guess I’m still tangible! Flying to my feet, the FPB is undone, and the cry of the little goblin alerted the big one, so now I’m in a bit of a pickle.

I glance back at the goblin that stumbled on me. Or am I?...

The big goblin charges at me, sword raised high, but not even he could see this one coming, because I deftly leap back, grab hold of the little goblin, and hold it up towards him. As expected, his sword stops mid-swing, just a few inches above the small goblin’s bald head. Haha, gotcha! Can’t attack me now, can ya?

“D–derecho…!” Oohh, now it’s growling at me, how sca~ry. What’re you gonna do next, try to bite me or something? But, no, he quickly turns his head and meets the gazes of all the small goblins. “Trie, friie! Friie, par und!” And as if on cue, after a single moment of glancing at each other, all the small goblins start running away into the woods. Are-, are they running to get reinforcements? Hey, not fair! I’m outmanned 8-to-1 and you’re still not happy? Cruel beasts!

But as long as I have this little goblin, he can’t attack me. Hehe.

<The God of Combat

is appalled.>

Huh? Who the heck asked y-,

A tiny foot smashes into my family jewels and I instantly buckle over. You… little… Flea…!

The tiny goblin that was previously in my arms runs away.

Attacking a man while he’s distracted, huh?... H-, how cowardly…!

“Haaah!” the big goblin shouts as he raises his sword once more, the blade falling right towards my neck. But if I’m anyways on the ground…

I pull my legs into my arms and his sword suddenly loses direction completely. But due to the momentum already garnered, it slashes into my left arm anyways, slicing right through the skin and flesh and making a huge gash before getting stopped by my bone.

<You have learned:

Slashing Tolerance Lv.3>

<You have learned:

Slashing Tolerance Lv.4>

D-, damn it—!

Leaping back to my feet, his sword slips out of me. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. I need to kill him fast, before those small goblins are able to call over five hundred more goblins. In pure combat, he’s my obvious superior. For one, he has a real sword. But I think there’s one thing I have that he doesn’t. Namely, an inventory. How can I tell? Let’s just say that if he had an inventory, he wouldn’t need a hilt.

That’s the only way I can defeat him. Through sheer surprise.

I grin and ready my hands. The moment he attacks, I’ll begin my fight back.

But he isn’t attacking, and neither am I. We’re both as tense as drawn bows, but neither of us will fire our arrows. Carefully, we begin to rotate, around and around, looking for weaknesses in each other's defences. Unfortunately, he has one huge advantage. All he’s trying to do is buy time, while I’m desperate to kill him. The longer he waits to attack, the more he wins. Damn it.

As much as it hurts, I need to be the one to attack first. But I know exactly how to do it, and exactly what to try.

At a random instance, guided less by an actual opening in his defences and more so by simply making up my mind, I leap at him. As expected, his sword quickly stabs into my abdomen, in through my soft belly and out through my back, skewering me on it. But I can survive that, and he knows it. He’s trying to pull his sword back out for another attack, but it isn’t hard for me to force it further in, threading my entire body on it like a piece of shishkebab, and once I get him within reach, I put one hand on his face and the other on his shoulder.

<[Touch of Reversed Slashing Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Piercing Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Heat Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Dehydration Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Falling Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

The hand that touched his clothed shoulder didn’t do anything, but for every finger that touched his face, I could apply one TRT. I grin.

He stares at me. He mostly looks confused.

Uh. Huh. Um.

He blinks at me.

Okay, so, it seems to me, that TRT might not be especially stro-,

With a mighty push, he throws me off of his sword, in the process also slashing open my entire side. Ow. Ouch. Owowow. Ok. That’s. Not good. Shoot. Heck.

A little bit of my intestines is spooling out. Not good. I’m on the ground again. Also not good. I don’t want to die like this. Not against some damn goblin. Shoot. This is really bad. It hurts. Mommy, it hurts. I don’t want to be here anymore.

“Friie mit tu, grathtet derecho.”

Oh, come on, don’t speak like you’re the hero here, what’d I ever do to you? Nothing! That’s exactly what. Nothing at all!

Growling, I reach for his ankle. It’s exposed. My fingers can touch him. If five tolerances wasn’t enough, then… How many will do the job?...

<[Touch of Reversed Organ Rupture Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Coma Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Hypothermia Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Poison Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Choking Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

He stumbles.

“Hef…?!”

Yeah, take, that…!

I grab his other ankle with my other hand.

<[Touch of Reversed Fracture Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Necrosis Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Hallucination Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Blindness Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

<[Touch of Reversed Nausea Tolerance (Lv.1)]>

He stumbles again, falling backwards, grunting as he does, before finally dropping to the ground, his body twitching a little. “Hef ut myr—?” He’s mumbling something. I don’t care. The TRTs can’t kill him, but I don’t need them to kill him.

I crawl on top of him and put my hands right below his chin, just above where the mane starts. And then, gleefully, I squeeze. None of his bones are fractured, he isn’t blind, not one part of his body is experiencing necrosis, he isn’t puking and he isn’t seeing anything that isn’t actually here. But I can tell that he can feel something wrong inside of him. And that’s all I need. He’s stronger than me by far, but this isn’t my first time choking.

<You have learned:

Choke Lv.1>

Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.

You took everything from me.

Die. Die Die. Die

Because of you, I have nothing.

Die. Die. Die.

My home, my family, my title.

Die. Die.

Everything.

Die.

His eyes turn dim.

<You have learned:

Choke Lv.2>

<Goblin (Lv.10) Defeated.>

…No level up, huh? Guess not. Shame.