AuthorPalt

Tutorial Rewrite 27 (Patreon)

Published:

2023-01-07 16:25:57

Imported:

2023-03

Content

I feel it before I smell it. Soft grass beneath my bloody, bare feet.

I smell it before I taste it. A waft of pollen in the air, fresh flowers, earth.

I taste it before I hear it. The slightest hint of fresh fruit, touching my tongue before fluttering away.

I hear it before I see it. Birdsong, wind rustling the treetops, off in the distance, barking, and the sound of children laughing.

And now my eyes open.

It’s a forest. A luscious, green, fresh, earthy, massive, bright, forest. It’s more green than I may have ever seen in my life.

Maybe on a field trip, or a family trip, or some other sort of trip, I might have seen something similar. But even that wouldn’t have been enough green. It might be because I haven’t seen proper green in so long, but it’s making my eyes water a little. Or it’s how bright the sun is. Or some other negligible reason.

I wipe at my eyes, my head swinging from side to side to make sure nobody could see the pathetic display. Thankfully, I seem to be alone. Good. Sniffle.

And just as my body calms down a little, a message pops up in front of me.

<Tutorial stage,

Hell Difficulty Third Floor:

The Aching City>

<[Clear Condition]

Escape the forest.>

There it is. The forest in question is obviously this one, but it can’t be as simple as just darting out of it at full speed, right? If I want to completely clear the stage, I’ll probably need to defeat all enemies, as usual.

In a forest, I assume the enemies in question would be the wildlife that exists there. Hm. Do bugs count? I mean, maybe if it’s a spider, but… On that note, do the trees also count as enemies, since they’re technically blocking my way to the exit—wherever that is? I’m starting to feel very confused by the whole situation, but considering that this tutorial place was clearly designed by someone, it makes sense that the rules might change a bit between the stages. I suppose.

But, first up, there’s something I really need to take a look at.

Because I can still hear it.

Children’s laughter. Sticks hitting sticks. Talking. Squeals of joy. It’s not that far away, either.

Without really thinking at all, I move towards the sounds.

I love the feeling of grass beneath my feet. I’m leaving a little trail of dried blood but that’s okay. Should I take off the leopard skin? I don’t want to scare them. The rustling of the trees and the soft winds are so nice. It feels like summer. Warm. Not cold, not hot, just pleasantly warm. Not so warm my leopard skin feels too hot, no, it’s just right.

As I draw nearer, I start to think. It’s always interested me a little, but all children sound the same. No matter the language they’re speaking in, they all have the same accent. It’s weird. You can always tell when the voice actor is a real child and when it's a woman pretending to be one. Maybe that’s just one of the many wonders of the human ear, but that’s how it is. You can just tell.

And that’s why it’s such a surprise when I finally reach them, and I step out from within a brush, that what I’m met with isn’t children at all.

There’s about seven of them. They’re small, and green, and all dressed in the kind of clothes you’d see on peasants in the middle ages. Brown and beige wool, little wooden shoes, stuff like that. And now they’ve noticed me.

A lot of them are carrying sticks. Not clubs, just normal sticks.

One of them is bigger than the rest, to the point where he’s even a touch taller than me, which may or may not be unlike common goblin archetypes. He has a bald head but a fluffy, dark green mane around his neck and upper back, and he’s currently on all fours on the ground, pretending to be a horse of some sort, with two of the smaller goblins riding on top of him.

I have no idea what to say or do. I mean, it’s goblins. Standard enemy, relatively standard appearance, and I’m ready for a fight. My body is basically itching to fight. I want to. I really want to. I’ve got a lot of pent-up energy from those damn bullies in the chatroom. And that one big goblin has a pretty high level, even higher than mine, so he’ll be great for levelling up, but…

They aren’t attacking.

Maybe it’s some old instinct in me, some pacifistic need for peace, but I don’t want to attack first. Until now, I haven’t had to attack first. The vultures descended anytime, the ladies were basically courting me first, and the three beasts… Is that the test for this level? To be able to take the initiative?

That might be it. It might also be a test of your will. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but these little creatures happen to look a whole lot like human children. Just that they’re green. And bald. And with huge pointy ears. It’s almost funny, because I’m next to naked, and they’re dressed like typical civilians.

I shake my head. I need to get it together! They’re goblins! I bet they stole those clothes from real human children. Yeah, that’s it. Goblins are… they’re scavengers, and bandits, and looters, and all those kinds of things. Like 99,9% of early-game quests are always kill X goblins, or clear out the goblin lair, or stuff like that. This is no different. I just need to…

One of the smaller goblins is approaching me. For some reason, I can’t move. I think I’m sweating.

It’s so small.

“Kier tu un’lau?”

My hand moves so fast I don’t even have time to think and it strikes plainly across the little goblin’s head, making it fly to the side. I look down at my hand. It’s trembling. Slowly, I clench it into a fist.

<You have learned:

Hit Lv.1>

“Lifrit!!” the large goblin cries as he flies at me, the two goblins on his back tumbling off of him. He’s pulled a sword out of a hilt on his belt and somewhere deep in my brain I feel calm now, because I’m being attacked, which means there’s nothing wrong with what I’m about to do. I summon my little knife. But apparently I don’t move exactly fast enough, because his sword slashes across my vision before I even have time to notice how close he’d gotten.

<You have learned:

Slashing tolerance Lv.1>

A new tolerance! Nice.

He seems to think the fight is already over because his body is visibly relaxing, but I’m way quicker than that, so I stab at his maned neck, already grinning in satisfaction.

But then the world shifts on itself and I fall backwards, flat on my back, and he stabs the tip of his sword towards me like King Arthur sticking the sword back in the stone, and I’m too stunned by the fact that a mere goblin fainted me and kicked my legs out from under me that I do nothing as his sword stabs itself deep into my bowels.

<You have learned:

Slashing Tolerance Lv.2>

Shoot. Okay. That’s not good. I feel light-headed. That’s not good.

The goblin suddenly turns away from me, over to the left, where that little goblin is still lying. It’s pulled itself together into a tiny ball. I didn’t get any message about defeating it so it must still be alive. “Lifrit, kier tu un’lau?...” the large goblin asks as he kneels down and takes the little thing into his arms. New piece of information: goblins bruise purple. Interesting.

But he’s made a critical mistake. Namely, thinking I’d die just from getting a sword to the bowels. Well, I guess most people would die, but I’m a super-special gamer, so I’m fine. For now, at least. Ah, the world looks blotty. That’s a pretty cool effect…

…Argh, gotta stay awake! Okay, okay, yeah, I’ve been in worse situations, I can manage. I think he only stabbed through my intestines, and there’s nothing in them anyways, so it’s fine. I’ve been stabbed before, and there’s a very simple way to undo it. You just pull out the stabby object.

Slowly, with trembling arms, I reach for the grip of the sword. But my arms are too short. Damn it, I guess this is why my parents never let me pick up the trombone. But if I can’t reach, then I just need to bring myself high enough to do so.

It hurts, it makes my entire body give little electric spasms, but I’m rising up. You know when you were in elementary school and you were still agile enough to crab walk on all fours? Yeah, it’s like that, but I’m just trying to stand up. I’m actually able to almost completely stand up until my wound gets stuck on the hilt of the sword. But now I can reach it, so with maybe a little amount of undue confidence, I start pulling at it.

Pull pull pull.

…It’s not coming out of the ground. How hecking deep did he push this thing in?! This guy really is some sort of reverse King Arthur! Damn it, I guess I’ll just have to try to wiggle off of the hilt. This is going to hurt.

Stretching my own wound as far as it can go, I even use the blade itself to widen the wound, making it just big enough to put in one of the crossguards, and then I just need to do a little more, and…

“Gur fra hik…?”

I look up. The big goblin is looking at me. Our eyes meet.