The Red Priest and Blue Slime Chapter 29 (Patreon)

There was always something funny about poking Rimuru in any of her forms. As no matter if she was in her human form, or her slime form. She always had a soft squishy feeling to her.

And of course when she was in her human form. She would always give the most... Teeth rottingly adorable pouts at having her super squishy cheeks poked.

"Honestly Jake... Treyni has been acting weird, she keeps asking about those regeneration and healing potions you made." Rimuru muttered and my I blinked at hearing that.

I tilted my head to the side slighly as I muttered. "Huh thats rather odd, I haven't seen Treyni since the Jura alliance meeting and I was named Prime fucking Minster with her just running off!" I finished a bit hotly.

As I didn't want to be the Prime Minister! I wanted to do my alchemy, practise my magic, and of course do lewd things with the Kijin I named that would literally die for me!

It was bullshit!

Rimuru seeing my face chuckled nerviously as she said lightly into her cup of tea. "Well, Treyni is rightfully scared you are going to burn down parts of her forest or herself for throwing all the management and paperwork at you."

I gave Rimuru a gimlet look that made her giggle but I just rolled my eyes and said. "Hmph, well she ain't getting any of my potions until she comes on out and says some apologies for making me the leader... You should have been the leader! You are the cheaty cheat who can steal and combine Skills!" I said dramatically while pointing at Rimuru.

There was a moment of silence and my face twitched seeing her cheeks balloon outwards slightly as she drank too much tea as she was laughing her ass off and avoiding me getting more angry.

A set of hands landed on my chin and then my head was pulled back with a literal 'Boing' ringing out as Shion pulled my head between her breasts and then she squeezed them around my face with her saying softly. "Shhh my lord... Listen to my heartbeat and breathe. Thats it, in and out. You will be a great leader, Lady Rimuru is only good for eating things, has a smaller chest, and is too short to be the leader of our people."

Rimuru slammed her cup of tea down with a loud clatter as she gritted out her teeth and snarled out as she stood up with her hands slammed onto my dinner table. "Who are you calling short, cow tits!?"

'Uh oh. Shion hit Rimuru's berserk button on her height. Wait why didn't she take issue with the other bits?' I thought wryly and then my brain stuttered as Shion proudly retorted. "If my lord wishes to milk me like his beloved cattle that is his choice... Or if he wants to do anything else with me hehehe." Shion giggled perversely at the end.

And that was the last straw for Rimuru as she yelled in fury with her collapsing into her slime form and then violently pouncing at Shion with her slime body growing out larger than a blanket to encompass the room room.

"This is my life now," I said dully as with a plopping noise my head escaped her tits and she ducked under Rimuru and then with a wet splattering noise I, and my chair were slammed backward into the ground. With my head thankfully being cushioned by Rimuru wrapped around me possessively in her cool slime form.

"Thats right Shion! Run away haha!" Rimuru crowed out dramatically and entirely too smugly as I rolled my eyes.

Finally, I called out impatiently to end the bickering between the two. "Alright Rimuru, let's get going Shuna has already made dinner."

And as though to win the argument Rimuru shifted her form back into her human form with her looking at me with a pout as she crossed her hands together to look at me with shining eyes. "Can you carry me?"

A sigh rang out and as Shion pouted again at seeing RImuru get her way I carried Rimuru in a princess carry with my hands holding Rimuru with one hand holding her up around her legs and the other on the small of her back with Rimuru's smaller chest pushing into mine as she childishly pulled down one of her eyelids and stuck her tongue out at Shion who had a tick mark from on her eyebrow.

And so I carried Rimuru out of the meeting room that she was goofing off in apparently with Shion leading the way as we headed back over to the kitchen area in the back side of the house so where Shuna was cooking and had probably plated up some food.

Coming into the kitchen I was happy to be proven right as the first thing I saw as I came into the dining room that was attached to the kitchen was Shuna's blinding smile as she said. "Jake the food is down!"

'Ahhh... The smile of a maiden wearing an apron and telling me her almost certainly delightful meal is ready is just too much for a man!' I thought as I put Rimuru down and taking in the spread I grinned seeing a large bowl of scrambled eggs along with fried rice that had a bunch of vegetables. and several slices of bacon like meant, sliced ham-like meat, and of course a nice tall glass of milk.

"Thank you very much Shuna, this looks honestly delightful," I said respectfully which made Shuna elegantly hide the lower half of her face behind the wide long sleeve of her robe as she responded with false humility and obvious pride and satisfaction.

"Oh, it was nothing my lord! I would do this for you every day three times a day should you wish of it!"

And this time both Rimuru and Shion threw the pink-haired Kijin dangerous looks as I kept my head down and began eating the non-eldritch cognitive hazard that wasn't Shion's cooking... Or Rimuru trying to cook and somehow using her cheat slime body to make fucking instant noodles of the all damned things.

When I reincarnated, literally the last thing I expected the reincarnated super cheat waifu to make me for breakfast after a long hard of work through the night was fucking instant cup noodles with a microwaved egg and gas station quality salsa mixed into it for flavor.

But damn... That was some good ramen I couldn't lie though.