Murder in the House of Mystery - Finale (Patreon)

EPISODE TEN: ???

EXT. CITY STREET - DAWN

EDWARD: (struggling) Well, here I am... the great Edward Henry Nygma, dying after being hit by a double-decker bus. (tries to laugh) Constantine was right: this was a bad idea. Ugh... In my final breaths, I can still hear his barely passable Scottish accent grating my ears, chiding me.

CONSTANTINE: Edward... Edward...

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

CONSTANTINE: Edward!

EDWARD: Hmm?

Edward is back with everyone. The party hasn’t started yet.

CONSTANTINE: I said, you’re not goin’ in there, are ye? That’s the House of Mystery.

EDWARD: Is it? I thought the... (uncertain) invitation was lying.

CONSTANTINE: Don’t go in there, Edward Nygma. It is an evil place, ill winds blow on anyone who dares set foot within.

EDWARD: …(echoing) dares set foot within.

CONSTANTINE: This is my last warning - you will find only death within.

EDWARD: Hmm... I really want to tell you off, but something’s telling me you might have a point. Hey guys? Guys? Do any of you have your heart set on this thing?

JON: Eh?

WAYLON: Why’d ya ask?

JOKER: Who wants to know?

EDWARD: I just... I think I’d rather just go somewhere else and get plastered. How about drinks on me at the Iceberg Lounge?

OSWALD: My dear boy, if we’re going to the Iceberg Lounge, you’ll need some REAL coin. Drinks are on ME tonight!

General approval.

INT. INTERVIEW PARLOUR.

EDWARD: I can’t help but feel I just avoided a... horrible thing.

INT. INTERVIEW PARLOUR.

CAIN: Fuck John Constantine.

ABEL: Right in his thistled arsehole.