Chapter 44 (Patreon)

The day after the wedding, Chad sat in the backseat of the car while Pam drove. Victoria was in the front seat with Stewart nestled safely in her lap. Anna was stretched out in the back, trying to relax and scrolling through her phone while keeping an eye on her stepdad and step-brother, who were resting on her leg. Bram was lying down, resting his eyes. It was getting late. They'd been on the road for several hours, and the sun was finally setting. The drive had been relatively uneventful, especially compared to the events of the last forty-eight hours. That was fine by all three of the boys, though. They'd had more than their fair share of excitement. In fact, that was precisely what he was thinking and reflecting on. Meanwhile, Chad reflected on the final moments of his and his friend's wild night, specifically, a talk he'd had with his best friend....

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Anna had deposited them in her purse for the journey back to the hotel. Bram and Stewart had broken off while Joey, Trevor, and Henry rested and tried to recover from their ordeals. Chad sat beside David as Anna carried them back to their home away from home. David hadn’t said much since he and the others had managed to find their way out of the lion’s den. Chad wasn’t sure how long they’d been riding when David finally asked, “Can I ask you something?”

It was the tone in David’s voice that caught Chad by surprise. “Yeah, of course,” Chad replied, “Ask me whatever you want, bud.”

Chad recalled the frown that settled on David’s face. It had been one of the only times he could recall seeing his best friend so deeply in thought. David’s frown deepened as he asked what had been plaguing his mind since long before the chaos of their evening out. “You and Pam,” he began, trying to choose his words carefully, “How do you guys do it, Chad?”

“What do you mean?” Chad asked, caught off guard by David’s question.

“I mean, how do you two make it work with the whole size difference thing?” David asked.

“Sorry, buddy, I’m going to need a little more to go on than that,” Chad said, still feeling lost by David’s question, “Do you mean in the bedroom, or-”

“I mean the whole thing, man,” David sighed, catching the attention of the other guys. You two always seem so happy and relaxed. Even before everything tonight, I’ve been constantly on edge in the back of my mind, worrying about Heather losing me, her stepping on me, sitting on me, or something worse happening when the two of us are alone.”

“Woah, take it easy, David,” Chad said, overlooking the fact that the others were starting to listen in, “Do you mean to tell me that you two aren’t happy together? I think it might be a little late to be having second thoughts about your wedding, don't you?”

“I’m not thinking about calling anything off, Chad,” David frowned, “This is something that’s been bothering me for a while now, though. Heather and I…we haven’t spent much time alone since I caught the virus.”

“Slow down, man,” Chad said, “You don’t really expect me to believe that you two haven’t had any alone time since you shrunk, do you?”

“You’re really going to make me say it?” David sighed, hanging his head, “Heather and I haven’t…done anything together since I shrunk. We haven’t been intimate, okay? I’ve been terrified about everything that could possibly go wrong. Tonight was the closest that I’ve gotten to being with her, and after seeing what she did with Joey, I don’t know if I can do it. Everything we saw tonight was like something out of one of those insane news stories. How do you and Pam do it?”

David hadn’t noticed the others looking and listening on. Chad held his hands up and tried to get his friend to relax. If there was one thing that he could understand, it was the fear and trepidation that came with being with a titan. Chad could still recall the feeling of helpless terror from his night at the mercy of Pam. Even before that, he’d been scared of facing that side of life. He knew what it was like to live in fear, but he hadn’t expected to hear it from David. Throughout their friendship, he’d never seen David like this. He’d always been the more confident one between them. 

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Chad said, “Take a breath, man, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I get it, okay? Nobody knows what it’s like to put on a brave face around friends and family than me. Do you want me to be honest here?”

“We’re past the point of lying and saving face, Chad,” David replied, bringing his knees to his chest.

“The truth is that there is no easy way to make things work,” Chad sighed, leaning back against Anna’s wallet, “It doesn’t matter how hard you try, there’s always going to be complications and difficulties. In some ways, it’s not all that different than marriage at normal size, but the wrench is us being the size of an insect. I can sit here and tell you that all you need to do is talk to her, trust her, and hope for the best, but you said you wanted the truth. Don’t get me wrong, communication and trust are huge, but they won’t make everything sunshine and rainbows. You’re going to be scared, you’re going to be anxious, and you’re going to worry about things that you can’t control, things that might go wrong, and things that might not make sense to anyone else. On the flip side of that, Heather is probably going to do the same thing. It’s up to the two of you to face your fears and work through these things as they come.”

“That’s your advice?” David frowned, “Take it as it comes, huh?”

“I guess it does sound pretty simple when you put it like that, doesn’t it?” Chad chuckled and shook his head, “That’s the thing, though, David. Just because something sounds simple doesn’t mean it is. It’s about more than just taking things minute by minute. At some point, something is going to happen between the two of you that one of you needs to address, but I’ll be the first to tell you that it won’t be easy. There was a period when Pam and I were in a rough spot that hurt our marriage and put a pretty severe strain on it. I withdrew into myself, avoided her whenever I could, and was visibly nervous around her to the point where almost all of our talks were short and borderline bitter. All of it happened because of one event that pushed me to a place I hadn’t thought possible and because I was too scared to bring up what happened.”

By this point, the rest of the party had gone silent. Everyone seemed to be listening intently to Chad’s story and advice. “What happened?” David asked, adding, “And what did you do?”

Chad looked around to see almost everyone watching and listening to their conversation. He paused momentarily and debated the best way to summarize the events in that period of his and Pam’s lives. “Alcohol, longing, and a night of firsts for myself,” he began, leaning his head back as he replayed that night from so long ago, “Personally, I think it’s pretty damn normal to be afraid to get close to a woman at our size, at least in an intimate sense. I was scared of it back then, but I had no idea just how dangerous it could actually be until after a particular girl’s night out for Pam. She came home feeling loose and looking for some fun. I don’t know how much she had to drink, but I know that she fully believed that it was going to be just as much fun for me as it was for her. Before all of this, I looked forward to nights like that. One too many drinks meant I was guaranteed to get lucky, but it’s funny how things can change when your perspective changes.”

“So what’s the short version here, Chad?” David asked, noticing that almost everyone in their area was listening intently now. 

“The short version is that she used me,” Chad sighed, “More than that, she scared the living hell out of me. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was terrified that she was going to drown me. I thought I was going to die that night. I can’t tell you how long it lasted, but I can tell you it felt like an eternity. It was one of the longest nights of my life, but that was just the start of my problems. Pam had the time of her life and was blissfully unaware of the hell she'd put me through. Over the next couple of weeks, I found myself living in a state of constant fear and anxiety. I was scared to be alone with my wife, but worse than that, I was afraid to ask why. Here’s the thing: I know how Pam is. She’s got a big heart, and she’s always worrying about me getting hurt or her accidentally doing something to me. She was too drunk to realize what she was doing, and the way I saw it, there was no point in upsetting her. I felt like if I opened my mouth, I would just create more problems for everyone, myself included. So I tried to pretend like everything was fine, but I couldn’t stop myself from getting spooked anytime Pam reached for me.”

“I remember that,” Bram said, breaking the silence and Chad’s narrative, “You and Pam were both off for weeks. Victoria and I talked about it, but neither of us could figure out what was going on.”

“You two weren’t the only ones to take notice,” Chad smiled at his son, “You two just kept your mouth shut on it. Anna noticed something was going on, too, but she was more focused on her mother than me. She could see that something was happening and that it was eating away at her. Ironically, I thought I was helping by keeping my mouth shut, but I was hurting her more with every passing day.”

“So what changed that you finally decided to speak up?” David asked.

“I could sit here and tell you that I woke up and decided to man up, but that would be a bunch of bullshit,” Chad smirked, “Pam was withdrawing more and more into herself, but she’d started going to these support meetings. It took a push from an unexpected source for me to realize that holding things in was ruining my marriage and hurting the people I cared about. I know that everything we went through tonight, everything we witnessed, was horrifying and put things in a pretty fucked up light, but you can’t let that define how you see things. Yeah, people are capable of some nasty things, and sometimes, the people we care about will hurt us without meaning or realizing it. The most important thing is not to let that knowledge and fear hold you back.”

“So am I just supposed to forget what I saw Heather doing to Joey tonight?” David asked, “That’s something that I can’t unsee, Chad, and I don’t know if I can get that image out of my mind.”

“It’s not about forgetting,” Chad shook his head, “It’s about understanding and accepting that this was most likely a one-off. Plus, there was no way she knew it was Joey she was messing with; no offense, Joey.”

“None taken,” Joey sighed, “I’d be happy believing that it was just that.”

“As I said, people are capable of doing terrible things,” Chad sighed, “The thing is that, more often than not, they’re not intentional. Yeah, Heather took things pretty far tonight, but that doesn’t mean she’ll do that every time. You heard what Miguel said; we saw it ourselves; that place had an effect on people. Heather wasn’t an exception to that. You can’t let tonight and your fears keep you from moving forward, David. If you and Heather are going to have a shot at being happy together, you’re going to have to figure out a way to get past this.”

“What am I supposed to do, Chad, talk to her about it?” David scoffed, “Tell her about tonight and how I’m scared shitless that she might kill me?”

“Don’t be an idiot and an ass,” Chad rolled his eyes, “Telling her about tonight and everything that’s happened is not a great way to start your life together. That said, talking to her about being nervous isn’t a bad idea. Yeah, our lives are different because of our size, but some things are universal. I know this sounds cheesy, but communicating is one of the most important things in a successful relationship. It’s even more important when you’re our size, and you’re trying something as dangerous as what we’re talking about.”

David stared at Chad for a minute before leaning his head back and chuckling, “You really do sound like some kind of counseling special, you know that? In all seriousness, Chad, do you really think that talking to Heather will help?”

“It’s the only way to get the ball rolling and make progress,” Chad shrugged, “Like I said, I know it sounds cheesy, but sometimes the truth is just that. If you two care about each other, you’ll talk to each other and figure out how to move forward together. She can’t help you with anything if she doesn’t know there’s a problem and vice versa, buddy.”

“And what if she doesn’t care?” David asked, letting the rest of his walls down.

Tonight was indeed a night of firsts for Chad. In all the years he’d known David, he’d never known him to sound so worried about something like this. His friend had always been the smoother ladies' man, whereas Chad was more of the sentimental romantic. Seeing him this vulnerable was new, but it proved how much Heather meant to him. Judging by the silence from the rest of their party, the others were just as surprised as Chad. Not one of them felt the need to speak up or comment, choosing to hold their tongues rather than risk putting a foot in their mouths. 

“That’s that fear I was talking about, man,” Chad sighed, “You aren’t going to know unless you try to talk to her. If you love her, and I’m about ninety percent sure you do, then you’re going to have to find a way to get past this and talk to her. Do you believe that she loves you?”

David looked Chad in the eyes as he replied, “Of course I love her, and, yeah, I believe she loves me too.”

“Then you have to believe that she’ll care,” Chad nodded, “If you can’t do that, then you two are in for a really hard time. When I said to take things as they come, day by day, I wasn’t trying to downplay the importance of trust and communication. Those things go hand in hand with meeting and overcoming the challenges you're going to face. I had to have somebody point out the damage my fear and keeping my mouth shut was doing. Take it from a guy who had to have someone point out his mistake: you don't need to live in fear of the unknown.”

“It's just that simple, huh?” David shook his head.

“Nothing simple about it, man,” Chad chuckled, “Marriage is hard, regardless of how big you are. You and I face different challenges than a normal-sized couple, but the whole premise falls apart if one person gives up. There will be times when one of you is going to have to pick 

the other one up. As long as you're willing to keep going, and Heather is too, you two will be fine.”

David looked down at his feet and chuckled, “Is this going in your speech for tomorrow?”

“Eh, I haven't worked on it as much as I probably should have,” Chad admitted, “I was gonna get up and wing it, but yeah, you'll probably hear some of the same stuff I've said here.”

David's face fell again after a moment, “What are we supposed to do about tonight, Chad? What are you going to tell Pam?”

That was the million dollar question that was on everyone's mind. Stewart and Bram had been wondering the same thing. “We keep it to ourselves,” Chad frowned, “As much as I don't like the idea of keeping something from my wife, this isn't the time or place to bring up anything we've seen.”

“Starting my marriage off on a lie doesn't seem like a great plan, buddy,” David sighed.

“It's not ideal, but telling her about this right now risks ruining your big day,” Chad nodded, “There's a time and a place for everything, and this isn't it. Eventually, I'll have to tell Pam about all of this, and I will, but it won't be tonight or anytime soon. The day will come, and you can bet your ass I won't run from it when it does. I already made that mistake once.”

“I don't imagine that’s going to sit too well with your stepdaughter,” Trevor remarked, “I've only dealt with her a little bit tonight, but she didn't seem keen on the idea of you keeping stuff from her mom.”

“You mean you didn’t get friendly vibes from Anna?” Bram asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly get that from her in the short time I spent with her,” Trevor replied.

“Anna won’t be thrilled by it, but I think she’ll understand,” Chad nodded, “As long as she knows that I’ll come clean eventually, she’ll understand. That’s the thing, guys. This isn’t something that we need to take to our graves. One day, we can open up about this, be honest, and probably laugh about it, but it’s going to take time before any of us get there. For tonight and the next few days, we need to focus on the fact that we’re alive. We survived tonight, and tomorrow, we’re going to enjoy a celebration of love, life, and union.”

“Okay, now that sounds cheesy,” Trevor joked, “A celebration of life and love, really? That’s how you describe a wedding, Chad?”

“Do you have a better description, Trev?” Chad asked, glad to see the mood was beginning to lighten.

“Depending on the venue, a party might work better,” Trevor shrugged.

“I think I’m done with parties for a while, so let’s go with Chad’s description,” Joey chimed in.

“Call it whatever you want,” Chad said, looking around, “The point is we made it through tonight, and tomorrow is a new day that is about David and Heather. We need to leave tonight in the rearview mirror and focus on what this weekend has really been about, Heather and David.”

“You’re a good friend, Chad,” David smiled.

“I’ll always be here for you, pal,” Chad said.

Just before they arrived back at the hotel, David asked his final question, “Do you really think things will work out between Heather and me, Chad?”

The truth was that Chad had no way of knowing for sure whether or not things would work out between the two of them. “I think that the answer to that question is entirely dependent on both of you,” Chad replied, unable to bring himself to lie to his friend, “As long as neither of you are willing to give up on the other one, then I think you’ll be okay. Don’t make the same mistake I made when it comes to fear. If there’s anything you ever need, all you need to do is reach out. Tips, tricks, advice, whatever you might need, I’m here for you, buddy.”

“It's kind of hard to call when we’re this size, but I appreciate that, man.” David clasped his hand on Chad’s shoulder and smiled.

The night ended shortly after that on as high a note as it could have. Anna dropped the boys off at their hotel safe and sound, and she took Bram back to their room. The guys tried to return to their game, but it was next to impossible for them to move past everything that had happened. All of them were relieved to be out of the fire, but everything was still fresh in their minds. They tried to move on, and found it was more difficult than any of them thought possible. It was almost a relief when the women walked in the door, almost. There was an apparent sense of unease that lingered in the air. Their size hid their squirms from the women, but each of them struggled to look at them after everything they'd seen. Chad's advice helped to keep them grounded, but his words only went so far.

Chad could still recall the looks on everyone's faces. His friends were doing their best to hide their fears, but it was the looks on the girls’ faces that truly stuck out to him. There was something more than a buzz behind their eyes. Pam, Victoria, and Rose seemed fine and normal, and even Heather and Tracy seemed more exhausted than anything. However, there was a slight glint in their eyes that Chad recognized from past encounters. It was playful and mischievous, yet there was an underlying danger to that look. It might have been nothing, though neither he nor the others felt entirely secure after tonight. As the women talked and greeted them, they exchanged glances and tried their best to relegate their worries to the back of their minds. Despite the long and taxing night, they knew they needed to move forward.

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Pam hit a bump that nearly knocked Chad and Bram loose and sent them flying down into the floorboard. Anna’s hand caught the pair of them before they could fall.

“Mom, watch out for potholes!” Anna called out from the backseat.

“Sorry, honey, it’s the roads here,” Pam said.

“She’s right, Anna, they’re doing construction on this part of the interstate,” Victoria pointed out.

Anna rolled her eyes, but she nodded and relaxed. She placed Chad and Bram back on her leg and checked on them, “Are you two idiots alright?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, Anna,” Chad said, smiling up at Anna.

“All good,” Bram agreed, settling back down on Anna’s leg.

“Good, don’t get yourselves lost before we get home,” Anna said, leaning back and getting comfortable, “Yeah, I could find you two, but you’d be stuck in the dark until we stopped. Get comfy and stay still, got it?”

Her tone was slightly harsh, but both Chad and Bram knew she wasn’t being hateful. They didn’t take it personally, and both of them did their best to find a comfortable spot to rest. Anna was wearing loose fitting track pants for the ride. She'd gone with comfort and functionality over style this evening, much to the relief of the boys. Chad found a crease in Anna’s pants to rest in and decided to lie down. He was still fairly worn out from the adventure the other night and the events of the wedding. He put his hands behind his head and tried his best to relax. The car ride wasn’t the smoothest but steady and constant. He trusted Anna enough to let himself drift off and catch up on some much-needed rest.

On the other hand, Bram had too much running through his little head to sleep. The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions for him. He’d seen more than his fair share of insanity over the last few days, but through it, he’d gained more than he’d lost. He and Anna had managed to rekindle an old bond. He’d faced several of his biggest fears, but most of all, he’d managed to find a part of himself that had been buried for what felt like an eternity. Bram took a seat on Anna’s leg and glanced up at his stepsister. As callus as she could be, she’d played a big part in where he’d managed to get. It was her, the words of his dad, and the events of the wedding that had his mind racing. He laid down on Anna’s thigh, put his hands behind his head, and replayed yesterday’s events.