What Are The Tattoos For? (Patreon)

When you have as many tattoos as me - or hell, I guess if you have any tattoos at all - then there are always nosy people out there who want to know exactly what they mean or why you got them. I get asked probably once a week about them and it simply doesn't matter how many times I tell the truth, nobody believes my explanation.

Perhaps you open-minded folk on the internet will be a little more understanding. Hell, maybe my story will even convince you to get a tattoo of your own because believe me, they're useful for a whole lot more than just decorating your body with images!

Back when I was a college student I would regularly be possessed by a number of things - demons, ghosts, witches and warlocks. You name it, they all wanted a piece of my body. I had kept myself in good shape throughout high school and was relatively popular so I guess it made sense that I was a popular target, especially in a city known for its underground magical community.

Eventually though I got sick of being forced into the passenger seat while other people drove around in my body. I wanted my life back and the way I was going to do that was by getting a tattoo. I wasn't planning to get any old tattoo though, I had arranged with a mystical tattoo artist to get some ink on me that would prevent any more demons from hopping into my body. They were by far the most invasive and I always felt uncomfortable with them riding around inside of me.

One I'd eliminated the demons from possessing me, I figured why stop there? Ghosts could always be pretty invasive too, plus they were more likely to be reckless with my body, attempting stuff that they'd never been able to do in their own mortal days. One tattoo later and boom, those spectral risk-takers were barred from taking my body for a joyride.

Needless to say, once I had forbidden demons and ghosts from climbing into me, I was eager to make sure nothing else was capable of doing it. They didn't all have cruel intentions when they decided to occupy my body but I was getting sick of other people living my life, especially considering I was still young. By the time they stopped I'd probably be sixty-something and my better years would be behind me!

It's probably a good thing that I enjoy tattoos then because I'm pretty inked up these days, as you can see. Every time I encounter a new type of mystical beast that might want to take a ride in my life I book another appointment and I get another chapter to add onto the explanation of why I have all these tattoos - not that anybody ever believes me.

Hopefully at least one person does now. Take my advice - get inked up!