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Fireside Chats, Episode 111: Infertility (Patreon)

Published:
2019-10-16 16:01:01
Imported:
2022-01

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Content

For many married couples, having children is a huge part of The Plan. But what happens when biology doesn't cooperate, and you're left unable to have kids like you counted on? This week's guests -- The Mayberrys -- have special insight into an issue that affects millions of couples the world over. While they were ultimately able to overcome the hurdles in front of them and get pregnant (after many thousands of dollars spent on medical care), the journey wasn't easy. In fact, there were plenty of times when it was downright scary, and endlessly frustrating. Hopefully their story will provide valuable insight into the quiet suffering of men and women who want to have kids but simply cannot, and how every once in a while, tales like these can have a very happy ending.

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Comments

Lou & Rei Loper

Wow this is going to be very very very interesting. We've decided not to have children, but it's a totally different experience for sure to have your own body 'betray' you and you simply can't...

There’s No I in LLC

Dude that Jehovah's Witness stuff is real. My Grandma needed blood transfusions. But because of her stupid fucked up religion it wasn't allowed.

Anonymous

Listening to this, replayed the struggles of my own 2 year fertility issue. It is like ripping open a healing wound every time you hear someone’s story. It never goes away. I remember all the tears shed over negative pregnancy tests. I remember a doctor who told me to give up because it just wasn’t going to happen for me. I remember being so resentful to all my friends who were celebrating having babies. I also have PCOS, but with the help of a wonderful, kind and caring doctor, we were able to have our rainbow baby. She 2 1/2 now and absolutely perfect. I do find myself taking extra time to make sure she feels loved just a bit more because I am so greatful for her. I enjoyed every second of my pregnancy because I wanted it so bad. I also don’t know if I’ll be able to experience it again. I try to share my story with anyone who will listen because it was such a lonely time for us. Although friends listen, they can never fully understand. We didn’t tell family we were trying because we didn’t want to get their hopes up if we could never give them their first grandbaby. We had also decided against fertility treatment because we didn’t have the money for all of it. I’m so glad you had this conversation! I will miss this podcast tremendously!

Gabriel Duque

Firstly, Kudos to Colin for being such a competent and sensible interviewer. He managed to talk not only about such a delicate topic, but also about religion, family matters and money. And it was very nice of the Mayberrys to speak so candidly about their experiences. My wife has PCOS and I see that makes her doubtful in regards of children. In part she wants to be a mom, but at the same time she is afraid of wanting and not being able to. She is fully aware of the weight society puts upon women and how a woman's importance is still tied to being fertile.

Jake De Agrela

There is a beautiful film on Netflix called "Private Life" which goes into all the trials and tribulations of a couple going through this exact thing. I think it'd absolutely help people have a deeper understanding on this topic.

Nemesis Enforcer

I thought fire side chats were done? Or are these the last of them? I admit I've not really listened to these but once I get past all the. Knockback eps I will be going through these, great drive time listening!

Rob Aitken

Hello Good Sir - Thank you for this interesting Podcast, I have never been one to divulge my personal life online but this one really hit home as my Wife and I are finding ourselves on this same boat. It really has been helpful as Aaron mentioned, to hear about other people going through the same issue. As you said Colin, I'm sitting at the proverbial financial fork in the road, even though NJ covers a great deal of the Cost it is still a pricey venture just to get started, Anyway, thank you for your excellent work as always,

LastStandMedia
>>27947946

I hope you enjoyed the conversation (as much as one can enjoy a conversation such as this).

There’s No I in LLC
>>27953579

I'm just bitter I guess. She had bonecancer. She was so weak in the end that maybe thats how she wanted it. I just can't believe how stringent and controlling it can be that it negates self preservation.

BettyAnn Moriarty

How powerful all of this is. I appreciate the candor of both Aaron and Melissa. Thanks to all of you for doing this. And, please keep us posted as you continue with your pregnancy and let us know when ‘your gift’ arrives! Sending prayers and love your way. 🙏🏼❤️❤️

Steve hamilton

Fellow Mormon checking in. My wife and I also went through the same experiences as Aaron and Melissa. We now have two children from IVF procedures. Best of luck to the guests and to others struggling to create their biological families.

Rob Aitken
>>27981135

Thank you Mrs. Moriarity, or would you prefer Betty Ann, less formal,. If we do cross that bridge I can only hope we do half as good a job as you clearly have, raising such accomplished and driven children

Vladislav

Hi Colin! Really interesting format with two guests. It was really insightful to hear both perspectives.

Anonymous
>>27953841

This is a huge reason why we wanted to come on the podcast, and are so glad we were able to. It's something that you can't truly understand unless you've gone through it. And the more we (or anyone else who has experienced it) share with others, the more we can console each other and help others at least try to know what it's like!

Anonymous
>>28032370

Thank you BettyAnn, we both appreciate those kind words! Will definitely keep you all posted (so far so good 25 weeks in)!

Anonymous

Hey all, Aaron here from this episode. My wife and I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to listen to our story and for sharing your thoughts here. It means a lot that you all would care to listen; whether it be because you are curious and want to learn about something you may not have thought about before, or because you have shared in something similar and need to hear that you are not alone. And of course, thanks again to you Colin for allowing us to share. I just wanted to clarify something that I said in the episode. Pretty sure it was the first-time-podcasting-nerves but I misspoke when I talked about IVF and IUI. IVF involves placing the sperm and egg in a place outside the body where they can fertilize. IUI involves collecting a sample of sperm and physically placing them in the uterus, close to where eggs are released in order to achieve a higher rate of fertilization. Also, if anyone had any questions or anything, feel free to ask away! Marisa and I would be more than happy to respond to anything you guys thought of while listening.

Zach Brown

Very good topic to discuss here. My wife and I dealt with infertility when conceiving our children over a decade ago. We were grateful that IUI was successful for us in both cases (though we joke that our son needs to turn out better than our daughter because he took several attempts and, therefore, more money). This is an extremely important conversation to get out into the open as, just like you pointed out in the podcast, there is a level of difficulty for many people to have this discussion candidly. It can be especially challenging for the woman (as it was with my wife) when it seems that so many people around her are conceiving without problem (again, as you pointed out on the podcast). And, and Colin said, the Catholic listeners always write in, so here I go: while my immediate family was very supportive, I do have a cousin with infertility whose Catholic mother-in-law did NOT approve of using science to do "God's work". It's sad, and I'm hoping that now the mother-in-law has a change of heart given she has two beautiful grandchildren. Again, thank you for bringing this conversation out; as Colin said, there will definitely be someone who will benefit from hearing this.

Scoopski_TheBand

Thank you so much Colin for this episode, and thank you to the MayBerrys for sharing your journey and being open with the world and not being afraid to let people know infertility is real. Bawling right now. My wife and I have been trying to have a child for 2 years now, and we were diagnosed infertile last year. We're currently doing IVF, and are waiting for a couple more tests to come back before my wife's first egg transfer. So happy to hear that you guys had success with your first transfer. Hoping to get our happy ending as well! What Aaron said at the beginning resonated so much.. infertility really is a taboo topic, and no one really wants to talk about it. So thank you again to the Mayberrys and to Colin for having this tough, emotional conversation.