Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 27 (Patreon)

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 27

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Never did I think I’d be grateful that the Empire existed, but here I was glad to know that they were implementing disposable assets right on my doorstep.

“This month alone has seen the surrounding wildlands raided and pillaged by Empire adventurers backed by enforced elements of the Empire army.” Since I had funds, I had a map of Ylstu commissioned via the skills of an expert cartographer, years of constant scouting, and Henri’s small flock of familiars. I was confident that the map in my war room taking up the majority of its center was the most accurate map in the entire world. The best part was I had the process to make it written down, so I could have others made in the future. Cellphone-chan used it with easy familiarity, moving icons and pieces across of it, since it was enchanted to act just like that Roseanne’s and the Empire’s. “Many have been sent our way, causing some damage, but they have been handled without casualty and they have been sent through the mountain pass to safety.”

“It’s an old tactic, contrary to your own stratagems, but it is effective in its own way. The way is essentially being cleared for regular troops to march into Ylstu proper. They are paving the way for an army using irregular forces that they can easily afford to lose.” Henri offered her own thoughts on the matter. With a gesture of her hand, she connected the map to her Familiars patrolling all over Ylstu. At the cost of her being unable to cast the measliest of combat spells, practically only capable of crafting various artifacts with the help of someone with magic as a surrogate, I gained a live-updating map of Ylstu. One that the Empire couldn’t have. Why? Because they didn’t share their fancy maps with me, so I didn’t give them the idea. Teehee. “They are creating depots and strongpoints beneath the ground. From what you’ve informed me about warfare, it appears that they intend to “blitz” through Ylstu and take it over the course of a single month by building up enough supplies and resources to move terribly fast.”

“Find them all. Mark them. We’ll take them when they’re full and burn what we can’t carry.” Ur advised Henri, while I looked over the rest of the map. My Amazon bodyguard’s the most well-versed in my usual tactics, so I left that to her while I devoted my thinking ability elsewhere. I could trust her with all the obvious things, but I’ll check on her work later. It was better to double-check and even triple check before committing my only cadre of Amazons to anything, after all. “What of the Empire’s “Adventurers?” I have heard tales of many of them being particularly skilled. Some are purportedly even powerful enough to match one of my tribe.”

“Many or of middling power. Few are strong. The strong fall to me.” Ashe struggled to keep up with most of the talk, but she tried her best and offered what she could. She had a lieutenant werewolf now. A one-eyed, grizzled woman with a mane of gray fur who was missing an ear with dozens of a scars… and who also giggled like a schoolgirl when I looked at her, until my Hellhound levelled a fiery glare at her. “Most are not able to give chase or harm my tribe. It is of thanks to training given to us.”

“The Empire has too few strong individuals to allow them to join the ranks of Adventurers. Heroes and Champions are embedded within Imperial ranks to be spearheads, instead of joining the Adventurers as they did several decades ago.” Cellphone-chan provided a bit of useful information. It figures that Isekai’s of great power weren’t allowed any freedom. I’m sure every single one of the Empire’s Saints, Champions, and Heroes are practically all slaves… or people who had their memories fucked with because only their bodies mattered. I’ll have to handle them one day, but I’ll choose when that happens. “It will be prudent to be careful of them, though. They have a myriad of skills and abilities, as well as many differing preparations for nearly every eventuality. If one of your tribe finds a group of them, or one that does not flee from a show of force, I advise you to tell them to flee.”

Ashe accepted the advice from Roseanne’s Royal Guard with a nod of her head, before looking at me. 

I tossed her a piece of my meal as a reward, before saying my own piece.

“I’m blowing up one of the mountain’s passes between us and the Empire when they move to attack.” I dragged over the mountain range over by the Imperial side of the mountain. There were numerous passes that let small groups and caravans get through, but there were only three that could facilitate an entire army going through them. “I’ll only have enough explosives to destroy one, and we have to start setting them up in secret this month. So, give me your suggestions. Don’t worry. If you fuck up, you’ll only condemn us to a fight we’ll have to spend everything to win.”

Setting off a series of avalanches and rockslides in one of the mountain passes mountains was my answer to the coming Empire counterattack, once their forward operating theatre was set up. In all honesty, by my estimates I could hit all three passes, but the ensuing artificial disaster wouldn’t kill an Empire division of superhumans layered in enchanted armor. 

I wanted whichever pass that they’d travel through to not exist, along with the army that was travelling through it.

I wanted to hit the Empire with an entire mountainside.

It’s a two-for-one deal. If it works, an entire army dies and one of the Empire’s passes into Ylstu is destroyed. If it doesn’t work, and I have to introduce the Empire to guerrilla warfare, they’ll have one less route to funnel troops into. One ends with me laughing over an Empire army buried beneath an entire mountain. The other ends with me laughing over an Empire army trying to blitz through a territory that they can’t hold, can’t encircle troops in, and find their equipment used against them. 

In the last battle, they managed to send in troops to retrieve their equipment, but even if my troops can’t use their armor… I knew more than a few angry brigades that would like to rebel, once their lives were theirs again.

Heh.

Anyway, my little declaration erupted in the typical arguments whenever I decided anything vaguely important. Ur and Henri are both inclined towards my strategies. My Amazon bodyguard learned over the years to just nod and go along with what I had to say, while throwing her lot in with me. It kept her and her girls alive, after all. My Necromancer, meanwhile, is a staunch believer in new tactics. 

Thus, they butted head with Ashe and Cellphine-chan, because both of the two preferred more conventional strategies. Both of the two were strong, and had experience in winning battle after battle, and they were both equipped and trained to be the best. There’s no doubt that they’re capable of ravaging the Empire’s main force, especially once their mages were taken down, and lead their brigades into victory. So, in their minds, they could use the resources I’d be investing into something more concrete and less risky.

Since both sides were trying to convince each other which path was better, I listened and heard them out. Any idea that came up needed to be written down. Every complaint or accusation needed to be answered. The investment of resources into eliminating Empire soldiery isn’t something that I take lightly. I’d gladly argue for or against my own idea, in order to find flaws and make corrections to whichever path I choose to take. 

I didn’t have the luxury of doing what I wanted without repercussion; thus, I created my little war council with a balance between the conventional and unconventional.

Unfortunately, Kurama took to the entire affair like an Black Company to overworking employees.

Nowadays, I had to actually take a side and argue with Ur and Henri, as well as compromise on multiple aspects of my plan. In fact, given the situation, I was sure that my Mountain Drop plan was going to get axed in favor of something more conventional. The vermillion-haired, buxom Kitsune preferred tactics that are proven, though I could still push my ideas through to her, given my reputation.

However, I suppose to make up for the escapade last night, Kurama decided to do something different this time around.

“Hmmm, the plan has merit, but the risk is too great. Is there a way to ensure that they shall take the trap we shall set?” Oi, if you’re going to support me, I’d like you to do it after a long, prolonged argument. Now that you’ve said that, Ashe and Cellphone-chan are too shocked to wring their head for ideas. Don’t you know that those two need to get educated one day? They’ll never learn to think for themselves, if you keep thinking for them. If anyone’s going to stop another person from thinking, it’s me. I want to do that, but you have to understand having free-thinking officers is a pretty big deal. “My Kunoichi will be reinforced in a week’s time, thus we’ll be able to send them out while ensuring our town isn’t infiltrated. My dear, do you have any ideas on how to use my wonderful servants?”

Oh.

So, that’s how you’re going to play this game.

After I sent you running, after you made a critical error in your aspirations to control Ylstu, you’re now going to try and show those under my command that I’m not as skilled in some areas as others. Of course, given my years of fighting and controlling the front, I’ve acquired both practical experience and utilized many theories in order to fight. However, Japanese Highscool and media targeted to young men, aren’t exactly filled with tales of espionage. Nor have I had much experience with espionage. Naturally, if told to take command of super-spies and assassins I just met weeks ago and do my best to avoid, I’d fail and damage my reputation.

Well, joke’s on you, bitch.

I don’t care about admitting that I’m shit at something. 

In fact, I’ll parry your shitty attack and counter for massive damage!

“You do it. I’ll leave that operation entirely in your hands. I know you won’t fail.” 

There. 

All the responsibility of diverting an entire division of Empire troops into a trap, where an entire mountain will fall on them, is now yours. How does it feel to literally have your boss make you the cornerstone of the entire company project? Your little tactic has failed, Kurama. Now, if Ylstu is invaded and the plans fail, you’re fucked.

So… why the Hell have your eyes widened so much? 

Why the hell do you have a blush as deep as your hair? And, finally, why the heck can’t you look me in the eyes? 

“I see. Then, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll do that.” It’s happening again. The thing no one wants to explain. The massive spike in arousal, the meekness, and the shy acceptance. Kurama shivers as she stands, struggling to stand still, and moves to leave the room. There’s a scent in the air that I’d rather not describe nor acknowledge, but have to because it’s an obvious sign. Once more, I’ve somehow performed Seduce without the skill nor the training. The cost of the inexplicable talent is massive confusion. Source: Me. “Farewell, Hachiman. I’ll see you later.”

A fool would let this pass. 

An intelligent individual will let this pass, because they’re other people around, and confronting Kurama without a plan in a social situation is suicide.

I’m neither.

“No, you’re not. You’re staying right here for the rest of the meeting, because you need to know what happening for you to do what I’ve asked you to.” If I’m doing something, I want to know how and why it is happening, as well as its results. I’m getting what I want by addressing Kurama directly, forcing responsibilities upon her, and doing things that should have her attacking me in order to claim the advantage. Why is this happening? I couldn’t ask, but I could observe, and gain more information, if she didn’t keep running away. So, she stays. I’ll make her stay by force if needed, but right now pulling rank and spouting logic should do the trick. “Stay, Kurama.”

For a moment, there wasn’t a reply. 

The moment was enough for me to wonder whether or not everyone around the map realized what was happening.  Everyone had gone silent and still the moment I told Kurama that she wasn’t listening, so I took a quick glance over everyone present.

Ur was sitting straight and a small smile played on her face for some reason. Roseanne’s Royal Guard had a frown on her face, while leveling a too-serious look at me. Scary. Ashe was struck by the situation hard enough that she forgot how to sit like a person and hunched over her seat with her legs at her side. Henri was… staring at her hands as she gripped the table? Right. I didn’t know what the hell that meant. 

And, of course, one of the Kunoichi was fanning herself in the corner of the room. 

The idiot was wearing a naked apron. 

How could she possibly be warm?

Well, I ignored them all in favor of turning my attention back to Kurama. I’ll remember how to reacted, take note of them, and study them. It couldn’t be the Kindred instinct to jump any man they could see, so whatever was happening was because of their own personalities and instincts. I’ll figure them out later, while focusing on the situation at hand—

And, Kurama’s already obediently sat down.

When our eyes met again, something different happened, which I was thoroughly unprepared for. 

In a single instant, I saw the Kitsune as someone adorable and filled with affection. Though her eyes remained feral, their usual sharpness was filled with something akin to adoration. The small smile on her face, usually mischievous, was slightly agape with wonder. The rest of her body, usually perfectly poised like a predator, seemed relaxed and calm… while she looked at me with desire.

Desire that was should be a trick. 

It all should’ve been a trick. 

Kurama is a socialite, a masterful diplomat, and my utter superior in anything vaguely attributed to society. Everything that she does is something intended to take power from me, so that she could “care” for me. The moments we’ve spent together are all for that singular end. Every “good morning,” “travel safely,” “welcome home,” and “good night” is just a way for her to take my power and drive away from me.

It is not love.

It is not care.

It can’t be.

Not for me.