The WSJ's War on Waifus - Transcript (Patreon)

This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. I’m going to be responding to an article which appeared on Breitbart.com called ‘Flirtatious’ Virtual Assistant Shut Down After Wall Street Journal Suggested It Objectified Women. By Charlie Nash, December 13th 2017

I would respond to the original Wall Street Journal article on this subject and not the second hand article on Breitbart, but the Wall Street Journal put the article behind a pay wall, and I’ll be damned if I’m giving the Wall Street Journal one red cent after their Adpocalypse shit.

So anyway, here comes the fun police. I mean, The Wall Street Journal, to scare a Chinese developer of a virtual assistant because the virtual avatar wasn’t a 300 pound lesbian feminist who bitches about how oppressed she is while demanding extra sick days for her period.

This would have worked very similarly to Gatebox, except as an app, and without the little hologram anime girl. Instead, you would have a 2D avatar to interact with, which sounds like a low-cost alternative to something like Gatebox, but more life-like than voice-only virtual assistants like Alexa and Siri.

But holy fucking shit, The Wall Street Journal bullied this poor Chinese company because they questioned, and I quote. the virtual assistant encouraged the view of women as sexual objects in the workplace. Unquote.

It’s a fucking app you retarded cucks. Let’s hope the Wall Street Journal doesn’t find out about the Pornhub app, or they’re really going to shit themselves.

What can I say? Obviously there is demand for a sexy virtual assistant, but there is certainly room for different avatars for different tastes. Do you want a fat disgusting SJW millennial who accuses you of sexual harassment for telling her to do her fucking job? I have no idea why you would, but if you’re into that, I’m sure they can program one for you. You can have a sexy male assistant, or even a pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog with a bike pump up his ass giving birth to Shadow’s baby. Who fucking cares, it’s a god damn app.

Honestly, I’m more mad at the Chinese company for caving so eagerly and even issuing an apology. According to the article, the company wrote. Quote.

“The earlier version of the product is a beta-testing version designed to gather users’ feedback. “iQiyi has noticed the issue raised by media and already taken the product offline for further modification. We’d like to make an apology for the concerns it might have raised.” Unquote.

Seriously, just tell these fun police and virtue signalling cucks to fuck themselves. They aren’t your audience, and they aren’t your customers.

What I would do if I were you, is I would make a fat disgusting avatar with purple hair and a big pink pussy hat as an alternative avatar for the app, and at the beginning of the app, just after installation, ask the user if they’re a Feminist. If they say that they are, load the fat Feminist avatar, and if they say they are not, load the sexy one.

Everyone wins.

This is Selestina. Sex Doll Correspondent for TFM News. Signing off.