my day and a reminder (Patreon)

My visit at my Grandpa’s was longer than I had thought. I had to fill him in last minute on moving and catch up from the past 4 months that I hadn’t talked to him. Seeing him made me sad because of the realization of how bad I am with keeping in touch with family members and people I hold close to me. To actually see the fact that he’s aged, how he is during his battle with diabetes and see that eat away at his eye sight and his feet really left me in a weird mood all day. It was wholesome because he just emphasized how much he valued me coming by and just saying hello to him, and how many times he thanked me for simply sitting on his couch and helping him with his TV. I was also able to hear him say that he was proud of me for doing what I’m doing and managing myself okay and staying out of trouble, when he’s never said anything like that before. Unexpected but it actually felt nice to see some character development from him since it didn’t feel like he was the most supportive when it came to making videos and me trying to move in the past.

I had also got reminded that my little sister was going to prom on Friday and graduating next month like??? As stupid as it may sound, it just hit me- everything is moving so fast that it’s hard to keep up with. Though I have stuff going on that’s overwhelming me or occupying my time doesn’t mean everything else stops for other people, haha. Common sense but thinking wow, my little sister is growing up and my Grandparents are getting older just made me sad. It’s been very different since we lost my Mom and being involved as a family as close as we once were just hasn’t been a thing, despite us mentioning get togethers with each other. It seems like there’s a missing piece and nothing has been really clicking the way that it used to, and it kind of hurts to see. I hope in the future we find consistency and regain someway to come together and fill complete again, despite lost time and lost family.

I just wanted to share because it’s been on my mind all day since I left and it’s had me feeling weird. So I hope you guys are doing better at keeping in touch with loved ones, like your parents or grandparents and if not, give them a call and check in on them.

My apologies on falling through on a post today but that was kind of hard to push through, I did post a YT video though. I’ll be waking up early to go to the gym and get my first vaccination shot, so I’ll be doing my best to post something for you guys tomorrow. I love you guys and appreciate all of you! Thanks for helping me feel comfortable sharing things like this so I can get more familiar with talking about my feelings.