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Episode 23.5: Stormbreaker (Patreon)

Published:
2021-12-29
Edited:
2022-06-09 16:21:34
Imported:
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It's time: KJB has finally watched Stormbreaker, the absolute box office failure of an attempt to create a film series based on the young adult Alex Rider novels by Anthony Horowitz.

A british schoolboy must infiltrate the secret base of computer entrepreneur Mickey Rourke and figure out just what da heck is going on- while avoiding the worst jellyfish model this earth has ever known.

And to help them with this task, they've got the irreplaceable Phoebe Roy!

Find Phoebe at
https://twitter.com/prhroy

And listen to 10K Posts at
https://twitter.com/10kpostspod

AND listen to Masters of Our Domain, with previous guest Milo Edwards, at
https://twitter.com/mastersofpod

*WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/

Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

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Comments

Jet

Abi's thing about CHERUB reminded me of my dad asking me if I was gay when he noticed I had the books because he thought they were about fairies and magical girl shit. Unfortunately not, because that would have RULED.

Buckeroo

God, I loved the Alex Rider books as a kid and got this film for my 12th/13th birthday and hoo-boy, that was the day my childhood died. Nay, was *murdered*.

Khris

Spying isn't necessarily hereditary, Alex Rider is just the fucking Kwisatz Haderach. He's been trained secretly from birth to do spy shit

lj

I read the books when I was around 11-12 years old and in retrospect I can say the target audience for them was trans men. One of my first awakenings.

Jacob Inman

Okay, you’ve jerked us around long enough. Do you or do you not have any intention of actually doing an episode on the film If Looks Could Kill??

Justine

I'm done

Suzanne Schenewerk

Saw this movie at a discount theater as a teenager and the ONLY thing I remember about this film is that it introduced me to Damien Lewis. Reading this description has just reminded me that Mickey Rourke is here being unhinged—looking forward to hearing what else I’ve blocked from my memory. (Has anyone watched the TV series? How bad is it?)

Anonymous

Can’t wait for 23.75, Zardoz.

Myla

Darius Sayle is a villain ass name, but in the book he was called fucking HEROD SAYLE

Anonymous

Not realizing for half the podcast that you weren't talking about Bill Nye was quite an experience

Dana Himrich

The "geared to 11 and 12-year-olds" theory is pretty spot-on, though I would say it went even younger than that. I remember this film being prominently advertised in the giant Scholastic catalogues that teachers and parents could order for their kids. One catalogue even included the script for a half-assed play adaptation that told the audience to go see the movie to find out how the story ended.

default_playername

Fellow Americans who had to google what Bill Nye the Science Guy was doing in this movie raise your hand. Bonus points if you were in middle school in the past few decades and now have the song in your head like I do.

obliteron

This episode drops and the USAF makes the GBU-53/B aka the "StormBreaker" operational.

Manuel Kiguel

Ok, this episode made up for the Casino Royale switcheroo. This was hilarious.

Ghis

I am so happy that you have already brought up the CHERUB series because although it is a book it is extremely main feed material and the second book in the series is all about sellINg dOPe. Crossing my fingers.

Ctolm (edited)

Comment edits

2022-01-05 10:40:45 In order to truly appreciate Casino Royal (2006) I think you'd really need to first cover the the worst performing movie each of the 5 top billed actors did before they did Casino Royal.
2021-12-29 11:59:45 In order to truly appreciate Casino Royal (2006) I think you'd really need to first cover the the worst performing movie each of the 5 top billed actors did before they did Casino Royal.

In order to truly appreciate Casino Royal (2006) I think you'd really need to first cover the the worst performing movie each of the 5 top billed actors did before they did Casino Royal.

Nalte

Huh, I always remembered the books as being very loudly anti-British-spy-shit. When he goes to the bad guys in book 5 they have to give him like, the slightest of reasons and he's off to go shoot the lady who ordered him around as MI6's leader. Every single book involves him being press-ganged into doing spy shit, and he's even hired out to the CIA in book 3 as a person to make their dumb spying look more correct.

Nalte
>>74572185

Heck, the CHERUB books go way harder into being pro-MI6, because basically all the kids are like 'this is awesome we are doing Spy SHit' most of the time. I'm nearly certain that James ends up becoming a instructor after he's too old for British Intelligence Kids Division, and the books go far harder into terrorists and big crime bosses doing evil stuff.

Bryan

That pause between Alice asking "are you saying they cast too hot of a child" and Phoebe's "no" cracks me the fuck up

Christine Pizan

i went to check out clips of bill nighy's performance after listening to this and holy shit, if anything you guys undersold how fucking bizarre it is, just, everythings off

DukeNukem64x

STOOOOOOrm breAAKERRRRRRR

Violet

A friend of mine has.... "helpfully" pointed out that Neil Breen's Double Down technically qualifies as a spy movie. Do with this what you will.

Arthur Sexcrimes

god I was obsessed with this movie as a kid. only now do I realise quite how fucking catastrophically weird it is

Cate Kneale

I think you should do The Spy Who Dumped Me. It's fun and has Kate McKinnon upside down. Just saying.

Cate Kneale

For Phoebe's new podcast I was going to recommend The Big Empty and then realised that was Sean Bean. Sorry, Sean.

Charlotte Swasey

Please do DEBS at some point, it's terrible but it's also very gay

Noblesse Oblahaj

I just assume Devon was still reeling from Penguins, made it about 20 into this, then took out a gun and summarily executed the router

Lay-Tex-Lips

The villains plan is in the same level of nonsense as Commander Red from Dragon Ball, but crucially lacks the second in command henchman shooting Darius in the head when they find out what an absurdly disproportionate motivation he has

Vasundhara

just want to let you guys know I'm relistening to this episode and for the last three weeks I've fully been walking around under the impression that bill nye the science guy was a well-respected british actor and I somehow completely missed that