Virgin Adventures III (Patreon)

Dice bag and a pile of heavy hardcover books in hand, you step down the creaky basement stairs leading beneath Stephanie's house. You had of course played D&D on occasion before, but never with this group and certainly never with girls.

Natalie, the booth babe from the con you went to last year had gotten to be friends with the two of you, and told you the other day that Stephanie was something of an… unconventional sort of Dungeon Master. When you pressed her to elaborate, Natalie smugly refused, and  simply replied with a cryptic 'You'll find out!" Knowing the burgeoning confidence Stephanie had developed lately, that was not at all a comforting answer. 

Still, whatever Stephanie's unorthodox DMing style was, it was too late for you to back out of it now. You reached the bottom of the stairs to find Stephanie seated at the far end of a round table. Of course, as a nerd of her caliber would be, she was dressed in a pointed hat and matching cloak. 

"Ah! There you are!" Stephanie proclaimed in a bold voice as if she was in Dungeon Master mode already.

"We have waited for you." She gestured to the other players also seated around the table: Natalie to her left, dressed normally in her cleavage-y V-neck and denim shorts. On her other side was someone you didn't recognize; a goth girl with dark hair, dark lipstick, dark glasses, dark... well, dark everything. The one thing that wasn't was her skin, which was porcelain white, as if she'd never been in the sun before. She was dressed 'normal' as well, normal for a goth at least. The most notable thing, however, was her two massive jugs crammed into a too-tight black tank top. Three girls with incredible bodies, ironically about to engage in what might be the nerdiest hobby in existence. 

"Please sit, and introduce your character." Stephanie indicated the chair opposite her, in a tone way more formal than she normally used. This was her Dungeon Master mode, you guessed. Too late to back out now, you did as she instructed, pulling out the character sheet from between the pages of one of your books. 

"So for this campaign, I made a Half-Orc Fighter..." You began, but Stephanie interrupted you with a snort-laugh.

"What?" You ask, offended on your character's behalf.

"Nothing, please continue." She composed herself.

So you do. You give the broad strokes of your character's backstory and went over his abilities. When Stephanie had decided your character met with her approval, she began the game with a combat encounter with some trolls. An hour of rolling dice and doing math set to Stephanie's dramatic narration later, that was done. 

"As the last of the trolls falls, you hear a voice call to you from the cliff above. You look up to see a wizard standing above you." Stephanie announced before suddenly switching to a character voice. "'Good show, heroes! But you'll need this', the wizard calls out, before throwing something down to you. Think fast!" She barks before quickly pulling an object out from the table and chucking it at Natalie with little warning. As if she were prepared for it, Natalie catches it without hesitation. She held it up; the object was a small box with a key inside.

This must be the unconventional DMing style that you'd been warned about. You'd heard of DMs liking to incorporate physical challenges and such into their campaigns. Hopefully, she wasn't going to subject you to do anything TOO embarrassing.

The game continues. Eventually, the key was discovered to unlock the entrance to an underground labyrinth. With Stephanie hamming it up the whole time, you explore the maze, rid it of monsters, and loot the treasure! It was actually pretty exciting to win. 

Victorious, Steph narrates you and your cohorts' return to the inn in town to spend your new-found wealth and regail the townsfolk with the tale of your adventure. 

"Satisfied and full of good food and drink, you decide to head to bed." Stephanie narrated. "But on your arrival at the second floor of the inn, you're surprised to see at least a half-dozen busty prostitutes with their bosoms bulging out of their corsets!" She cheerfully announced.

Suddenly this game was a lot more interesting. "Well, what do I need to roll to impress them?" You ask. 

"Oh, not a roll." She beamed, almost sadistically. "They're impressed with displays of masculinity. So, show us how much of a man you are."

"I... how?"

"Show us your dick." She demanded. The other two burst into cackles of laughter. Your DM, however, just smugly grinned, satisfied.

"Oh come on, Steph." I'm not gonna-" 

"Do it!" Natalie cheerfully ordered alongside her.

"Yeah! You gotta!" The still-unnamed goth girl agreed.

"B-But… You've seen it..." You mutter under your breath to Stephanie, hoping the others don't hear. 

"So? These prostitutes haven't!" Stephanie giggled.

You sighed. There was no way to get around it; they were gonna stone you into the ground until you did. With no other options, you stood up and dropped trou. 

Predictably, the trio of adventurers broke into another laughter fit as humiliation jolted through your body, two more women now being privy to your inadequacy. 

"Yeah, needless to say, the gaggle of whores is entirely unimpressed with your masculinity," Stephanie announces when she's calmed down enough from laughing. "One of them quips that this Half-Orc is hung like a halfling. Another one of them reaches out..." She stretches a hand towards your exposed tackle, finger tucked behind the thumb. 

"H-hey, no!" You protest. But it's too late. She lets it out and flicks it.

As your flaccid nub recoils wildly, it provides just enough stimulation to make you dribble a small load all over your character sheet!

"Eww!" The girls all cry before cackling yet again.

"I was gonna ask you to roll a Constitution save not to blow your load, but I see that's unnecessary!" Stephanie quipped.