Bonus patron exclusive - Pervert Action: Origins (Patreon)

Guess what, guys? I've got you exclusive access to EFon's now complete first draft of his HUGE and very epic prequel story to the Pervert Action series, Pervert Action: Origins. 

What is Pervert Action: Origins?

You may have seen me announce an earlier draft, but this is the first complete version. He's been working on it for years now, it's a choose-your-own-adventure story that he is going to adapt into a Twine game soon; it's got a crazy amount of branches and endings, and a lot of characters.

If you're wondering, while I wasn't involved in writing this story, EFon has contributed some sections of writing to PAL, plus he was the 'player' when I wrote the first draft of PAL, offering suggestions throughout the process. He's also privy to my own detailed timeline of the setting and he knows where I'm ultimately taking the story, so this prequel is written with a very good idea of how the whole universe fits together. If you've played PAC all the way through then you might remember that the story hints at an origin centuries earlier; this is EFon's story of that time.

Feedback

If you want to do EFon (and me) a favour then he could really use some feedback on this. Detailed feedback is fantastic but even very basic feedback is good. You can either email him directly at mpendergast4@gmail.com or you can just go ahead and leave comments here and I'll pass them along. Feedback isn't required to play through it, but if you want to give it then it's appreciated (that's why he's sharing it with us). Here's some questions from EFon you could consider:

• 1. Are there any arcs that are clearly wrong or don't make sense to the option you choose from the previous one?
• 2.  Any notable spelling or tense errors (everything except the epilogues  should be in past tense) or dialog colors that were wrong? (some may  still be black if I haven't colored them yet.)
• 3. Do you think there should there be tags, either in the choices out the arc titles to caution or lead you to stories?
• 4.  Was it enjoyable?  Do you think it fit well in the Pervert Action  universe?  Are there any tropes or fetishes that you wish had been  included, but weren't?

Anyway, here's your download: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-dV_mhZT21XU0paOVdwR0RCZU0

P.S. Yes, I made the cover image. It's Azami, one of the characters from the game. This version here is the more recent one, the draft of the story contains the older one which I don't like as much, so I made this newer one instead.