carrying a bit of greif lately (Patreon)

Hey all, hope everyone's doin well and taking care of yourselves. I try not to get too into my personal life here, so I understand if you don't read further.
For those of you who have been supporting me long enough, you may remember a turbulent time last year. In the summer of 2022, I was spending a lot of time helping my brother accomplish a big interstate move while he was occupied with caring for his wife, as her health had been deteriorating from cancer.

Well, the worst happened. It's been a rough time- they lived together a few hours away, and I'd visit often. Doesn't seem like often enough, in retrospect, but I won't hold it against myself. (I'm actually on the way now, as I write this, too spend time with my bro.) We all had so much hope, though I can't say it was a surprise.
I wish I could speak more about the accomplishments my sister in law achieved in her life, but with a mind towards privacy- I can only say she did not take a moment on earth for granted. Believe me, when I say that her work touched many lives. She left this world a brighter place.
She passed away peacefully, which is the only solace we can take comfort in. My mom, my sister, and myself got together to support my brother. Her family live abroad, but they were with us in spirit.

We aren't of any particular faith or denomination, but the experience we shared over those first 3, painful days as we grieved with my brother felt ceremonial. It was the first time I felt touched by spirituality, which has kind of led me to a bit of a sad understanding that I really don't know how to speak to my own soul. That's going to be a whole journey in itself for me to pursue, but rest assured I'm not about to become a Bible thumper lmao
I will not find what I'm looking for in any of the major western religions I've grown up exposed too. That's all beside the point though.

As tragic as it all is, I'm not in a bad place. The time my family spent together was cathartic and healing for everyone. I'm not the one with greatest need for sympathy here, after all.
Life goes on- I'm doin my best in the classes I've been taking, and plan to enroll in some summer courses too. She had a prolific academic career, and she was always encouraging of the value of education, and I know graduating is just one way I can honor her memory.

Guess I'm writing this just to stay in touch with you all, as my supporters, I appreciate the patience you all have with me. I have a few lil sample renders I been meaning to post, but I hope you can understand why my mind hasn't been in the game lately. I been recovering my muse though, and ought to be ready to post soon, so stay alert for that.

Wishing you all the best ♡