Be the ball (Patreon)

At the end of last week I was Alexander Sørloth A 26 year old Norwegian football player who is normally in the top 5 performance wise. However, I had spent the last 2 hours being kicked around a football field by 22 hungry men. They were hungry to win, but also not to suffer the fete that I had succumb too for the last week. It is quite humiliating at the end of the match to be crowned the worst of the match. You see our coach had developed the worst kind of punishment for us who are the weakest of the last game. He put our bodies and minds into the ball. And for much of the last seven days I had been lifeless, motionless and trapped in the ball. The only time I even saw day light was when the lads were in training. I knew someone else was going to be the looser this week. The reason I was the weakest last week was because I got injured halfway through the game. However, what I didn’t realise was that the doctors had told the coach the best way for my body to heal would be for six weeks rest.

Six weeks rest as a ball wasn’t acceptable to me. I was told when I was given my body back temporarily at the end of the first week then turned back into a ball. That day I was set to be the match ball. I couldn’t deal with six weeks as a ball. So I protested. I became a dead weight. None of the players could kick me or pick me up. The ref was the only one I allowed to pick me up. He took me to the coach. Coach turned me back into Alexander Sørloth. He was in a really bad mood. But I was adamant. I wasn’t going to spend six weeks as a ball. He saw my point. He came up with a plan. He told me I could take the losers body at the end of the match providing I played ball today. I agreed.

At the end of the match it was announced that martin ødegaard was the worst performer of the match. I was thrown at him. He caught me. His mind was removed from his body and sucked into the ball. Pushing me out and into his body. I spoke to the coach about getting my body back. He told me I could in time, but for now and at least the next few weeks I was going to be Martin.

The next week our team played against England. The England team has the same rules, their weakest player would be punished each week by becoming a ball. I as Martin was the weakest player for Norway and a guy called James Maddison was the weakest player for England. We were both humiliated and were turned into balls. Something weird happened though and both of us as balls touched together and there was some kind of electrical spark between us.

That week during training I was being kicked and thrown around by all English players and I assumed I had been left in England by mistake and James had been sent to Norway. In a way, that was true but in another way it wasn’t.

You see the electrical spark transferred my mind into the other ball. After the week the weakest player in each team was relegated to being the ball and each of us, Martin and James were given our bodies and lives back. Only I wasn’t Martin any more I was James Maddison. I loved my new body but adapting to being in England getting used to his life was tough, I struggled with English too, and over night James had adopted a Norwegian accent. Martin, of course wanted his body back he too struggled with Norwegian and has a weird London twang with my real body.

The coaches on each team didn’t believe that we had ended up in the wrong bodies but eventually we both persuaded them to try and repeat the accidental switch. We’d have to wait until the teams played against each other again. I was happy with what I had and really wanted to stay this way. James with my body wasn’t happy at all though.