An Interlude with AquaLass (Patreon)

Aquaman swam along the bottom of the ocean, struggling with his feelings. He just felt so— alone, and yet he didn’t want to talk to anyone, either. So, he made his way to a place he hadn’t been in many years— Amphritite’s Grotto. As soon as he entered the circle of stones, looking in wonder at the crabs busily crabbing about, an octopus sitting calmly like a buddha, schools of colorful fish darting this way and that, he felt his heart swell, and much to his surprise he found himself singing in his soft, pretty voice:

I once ruled Atlantis

I once stood as a King

I defeated foes so tyrannous

Now none of that means a darn thing

“Why am I singing?” He wondered aloud, then shrugged, assuming it was just another unexpected change.

Look at my arms, so pretty and small

Look at my waist so perfectly neat

Look at my chest— like two soccer balls!

And look at my face, innocent and sweet!

He covered his face. “Omigod.”

I want to have bulging biceps

I want to be tall and strong

I miss my big shaggy beard

I can’t say what I miss most of all!

He turned his little face toward the shimmering sunlight scattering down from the surface, his hair floating around him:

I want to be where the men are

Belching and farting galore

I want to be where the men swagger

A part of that masculine world!

Clapping and a silvery laugh broke Aquaman from his reverie, and he swam down to where Atlanna waited. “Oh, AquaLass, why can’t you just enjoy being a girl?”

“I am NOT a girl!” Aquaman said, wagging his finger.

Atlanna looked over Aquaman’s new costume, which was little more than a tankini, and she shrugged. “Biology was never my best subject, but I’m pretty sure you are a girl now.”

Aquaman swam down and settled into the sand at his mother’s knee. “I KNOW, but I mean, like, um, I am not a girl, girl?”

Atlanna ran her hand through Aquaman’s long, wavy hair, looked into his big, innocent eyes. “Is that waterproof mascara?”

“I can’t tell you how hard it was to find it,” Aquaman said, then caught himself. “I’m obsessed with makeup now. It’s part of the spell.”

“I know,” Atlanna said. She looked over her son, noting the earrings sparkling in his ears, the six or seven bracelets on his slender wrist, the thin golden chains draped around his slender neck. “But, since you’re stuck like this, why fight it?”

“Omigod,” Aquaman said, plucking at a strand of his long hair. “Because I’m supposed to Mera’s husband and not her— little sister!”

Atlanna found herself playing idly with her son’s long, flowing hair. He really was lovely and quite delightful as a young woman, but she could see how finding himself turned from husband to junior female would play havoc with his sense of identity and ego.

Aquaman idly twisted his bracelets. “Mera wants me to attend a state dinner- in a dress!” He squared in feminine outrage.

“She wants you to wear a dress?”

“Yes. No. Well, she says it’s not about what she or I want. It’s expected and the delegation from Xebel will be offended if I’m not properly attired for a— um— given that I’m—“

“What?” Atlanna said, cupping her son’s soft cheeks, looking into those big, pretty eyes. Now that she had him like this, such a lovely daughter, she was starting to think she preferred him as a girl.

“Fine,” Aquaman said with a sigh. “I’ll say it. Now that I am a Princess!”

“Oh, dear,” Atlanna said, pulling him in for a hug, kissing him on the cheek. “Of course you are.” She hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t thought about the fact that the former man and King now found himself a princess, and how truly awful that would be for a man!

“Mother!” Aquaman pulled away, stomped a foot sending the sand swirling around his ankles. “”You, too?”

“I don’t mean it in any demeaning way, but just it is factually true.”

“Well, I don’t care! I will not be a princess! I will not glide around the ballroom in a gown like some silly girl. I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!”

Atlanna hid her shock and truthfully amusement at seeing Aquaman acting exactly like the princess he denied being. It was a bit adorable, but she knew this was not the time. As much as she would like to see him in a dress. “What would you do, then? Mera is your queen.”

“She is my WIFE! And she should not ask this of her husband. I will go back to the surface. I will live as a normal— man.”

“But…”

Before she could finish, they both heard the subsonic alarm. A bright smile spread across Aquaman’s face. “A mission!” He squealed, clapping. “Gotta go! Bye, mom!” He swam toward the surface.

Atlanna watched him go. She decided she would send some of her agents to investigate what had happened. All the male superheroes had been turned into subordinate versions of female heroes and been given, from what she’s seen, very feminine personalities. Who had done it? Why?

As much as part of her liked it, it was not right for someone to make these kinds of changes in her family. She would find out. That was for certain.