Poetry, writing, yelling, publishing, anything (Patreon)

Hello my loves.

Greetings from Waiheke Island, Aotearoa New Zealand. 

Kiwis/Auckanders: I am thinking of holding a patron-gathering SUNDAY JAN 15th in the early afternoon at my place on Waiheke, if you can make it..comment and let me know? I'll do another poll in a day or two to see who can make it or who'd prefer to do this on the mainland. I know some of you are already coming to the sold0-out fundraiser for Artworks on the 15th).

.....

Hi. Hello. 

Kia Ora.

If you want to see what it looks like here in New Zealand, I just posted this video of me screaming into the sky.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CnLUnw9JteN/

That's Shintaido, a form of Japanese sorta-martial-arts movement that I've been practicing since my 20s. A lot of you have done Shintaido with me. I love it. It helps.

(Yes, I have a wicked burn. It was worth it. Aloe every hour. Lots of water.)

I feel overwhelmed, joyous, torn, giddy, exhausted, at peace, churned. All four seasons in a day right now, and I'm about to move from one house to another. I did not realize that coming back here would be traumatizing, along with being wonderful. I am juggling that feeling. Bad things happened here, and I learned terrible truths on this Whenua - this land. The Te Reo work for land is the same word as "placenta". The Whenua.

I went to a memorial for a suicide the other day. I went to the Foursquare. I went to the gas station. I went to pickleball. 

The mundane is showering down on me like shrapnel.

And ash is so, so happy. This is him and his bestie, Aya, playing in the waves.

He went on his first real Kayak yesterday. He had been afraid.

Now he's not afraid.

I took this photo this morning on Waiheke, on a hike with Jane, who also took the above video. The water really looks like that. That blue. Those greens. Fuck I have missed it here.

I come to you today with an important poll, as I try to decide what to Thing/publish this month. 

This month is downtime.

I'm mostly clocking time with Ash, trying (failing) to catch up with some admin, and doing some deep existential healing and contemplation about the future. 

It feels like a well-earned rest. 

I have some poetry I've written, and I've published poetry here before, but only once (when it was a long, long, important poem) had the chutzpah to charge for it. I found myself musing about this when my "Full Frida" post on social media the other day brought a large number of people over to the patreon (hello, new people!) I find myself wondering how to pull and dial the levers of this thing. I almost never charge for my plain old "writing", unless it's been heavily edited or is very, very, long. Many people have told me a poem that I've written has changed their life, their mind, their heart...and sometimes that isn't true for a 6,000-word blog. But it's weird. Maybe it's the patriarchy. Size matters. I need comfortable putting out a 6,000 word essay and charging for it, but not so comfortable putting out a 60-word poem, even if just as much (if not more) work went into it.

I think this poem is one of the best things I wrote last year - songs and essays included. This one is really wonderful too.

I didn't dare charge for these. POEMS? It felt too uncomfortable to do that. And yet I wrote a fucking book about being comofrtable charging for art - ANY art. I don't know.

I found myself wondering: maybe if I really WORK on the artwork that comes with the poems - do original drawings, really work on the visual - I'll feel allowed? I don't know. Maybe it's an inspiration. Maybe you'll encourage me to do that and I'll pick up my watercolors and paints again, just to feel legit.

Here's the point, and here's the poll. Let me know how you feel about me charging for poetry...espeically in these down-times before I start working in earnest on the songwriting for the new dresden dolls album...that should be coming in Feburary/March/April, with lots of song demos and fun times.

I daresay, opening the poetry faucet with abandon may also prime the pump for the lyric firehose. And if you're here to support the work...well, all the work is the work. But you're always honest with me, so I'll listen to the poll. I am not capable of pulling an Elon Musk and setting a Russian Troll Farm to fuck with the results.

 Be honest with me. I need that.

Love

AFP