there will be woeful kittens. and other holiday merch. (patron only) (Patreon)

(patron only post)

note: thanks for all your feedback earlier today about Thinging things. i hear you all loud and clear and you’ve given me some wonderful ideas (particularly about spreading some of the dough back into jack and gaby’s pockets and towards new charities).


hola comrades....

yep, that's me holding a kitten. 

you have no idea how much willpower it took to save this image until now. i did it. i am proud. that kitten was a stray that allan amato had adopted into his photo studio, and that photo was taken a few hours before the outdoor album cover shot for THERE WILL BE NO INTERMISSION.

i am not joking when i say i seriously considered it for the album cover. i did. i'm glad i didn't use it, but still. it was very tempting.

so, instead, as threatened: it’s holiday merch time.

we were supposed to launch this last week but we held off because of the internal and external weather storms.

but timelines and duty calls if we want to be able to get mail-elves with holiday cards to your doorsteps by the holidays...and everyone at team AFP has been working for months to produce this holiday merch.

we are all so proud of it.

holiday cards are a tradition over here, i think this is our 5th year printing them, and this year we are making them mostly available to patrons only, because y'all are special and deserve a kitten. get a card for yourself, for your loved one, and buy enough posters to wallpaper your entire living room, that you may be surrounded with a warm kitten vibe for many holidays to come.

i love you all immensely. 

xx

afp

...

NITTY GRITTY:

this year there are not one, not two, but THREE AFP MERCH SHOPS that will have discounts and holiday goodies.

please read way below so you know where to get each item, and what the discounts are.

....

2019 HOLIDAY CARDS - for patrons only!!!!!!!

this year, only patrons can purchase the holiday card as a stand alone merch goodie. you can get one for yourself, for your friends, for your grandma, for your lovers - whomever you want.

it features a photo taken by allan amato of me with a kitten, designed by andrew nelson.

you can get this card in the USA SHOP and the UK SHOP.

this year, we're also fulfilling a limited number of cards in AUSTRALIA, so patrons down under can avoid international shipping, and increase the odds of these cards arriving in time for the holidays. these cards can be ordered from the UK shop (it's a long story why but essentially our UK shop will process the orders and then we'll mail them out from oz).  

here are the links to order:

USA SHOP HOLIDAY CARD:
https://shop.amandapalmer.net/products/2019-patron-holiday-card-patron-only  

UK SHOP HOLIDAY CARD:
https://ukshop.amandapalmer.net/products/2019-patreon-holiday-card  

AUSTRALIA SHIPPED HOLIDAY CARD via UK SHOP:
https://ukshop.amandapalmer.net/products/2019-patreon-holiday-card-for-australians  

the patron-only password to purchase a card is:
PATRONHOLIDAY2019

(if you are in the ART IN THE MAIL tiers and opted-in for the holiday art in the mail last week, you'll be getting a card with your AIT which are beginning to ship out this week)

IMPORTANT: the deadline to order a card, or any other merch and receive it by the christmas and hanukkah is DECEMBER 12th. any orders placed after that may not arrive in time for the holidays.

INSIDE THE CARD:

.....

THE AFP CAT POSTER

measures 18.5 inches wide by 27.5 inches tall
heavy cover-paper, frameable.
shipping loosely rolled in a wide poster tube

photo by allan amato, who also saved this kitten.

you never knew you needed a poster of a slightly battered 42-year old woman holding a stray kitten looking wistfully into the middle distance until now. his name is blue (he’s since been adopted by a loving home), but while allan was fostering him his name was agent gordon cole. 

i've been so excited for this poster for about a year now. i originally envisioned this as a velvet poster, but that didn't do the photograph justice. these posters are produced on heavy stock, suitable for framing.

available in the USA SHOP ONLY. 

HOLIDAY BONANZA MERCH BUNDLES AND DISCOUNTS, OH MY!

in addition to the new items above, there will be discounts across all three stores:

...

all stores will have a HANDKERCHIEF BUNDLE

you can get the AFP monogram embroidered hankies in a bundle of 3 at a discount.

(you can wipe your tears as you stare at your kitten poster. come on do it.)

these make an excellent gift for .... anybody.

here's a close up of the embroidered AFP monogram on each hankie:

IN THE USA SHOP

there will be 20% - 50% off select music and merch items

there will also be a special bundle:

TWBNI USA TOUR SHIRT + ART PRINTS + HANKIE BUNDLE

the shirt is available in both unisex and slim fit sizes.

.....

IN THE UK SHOP

there will be 20% - 50% off select music and merch items.

PLUS

SIGNED & PERSONALIZED SUNSET ART PRINT

if you order the fancy fine-art print, photograph by allan amato, by december 9th, i will sign and personalize it for you (up to 140 characters). 

...

UK/IRE SHOW POSTERS - SIGNED

we printed a limited number of dated show posters for some stops on the UK and IRE tour. you can get these now in the uk shop, signed. stock varies depending on the show date, once they're sold out, they're gone for good....so grab 'em.

...

HAND MADE "MACHETE" LYRIC JOURNALS

every journal is handcrafted by artist rosie sherwood, they feature 160 blank A5 pages, the covers feature my handwritten lyrics to machete, and i've signed the inside of every journal. these have been selling out almost every night on tour....

inside the journal:

......

IN THE AUS SHOP

the machete skull tote bag, and the TWBNI shirt designed by hannah littke will be 20% off.

as a reminder:  you can go to http://amandapalmer.net/merch to get a link to all three merch stores, but so you have them direct:

USA-based merch shop: http://shop.amandapalmer.net  

this has all my music, digital downloads and the new holiday items, lots of older goods, and ships worldwide. 

 .... 

UK-based merch shop: http://ukshop.amandapalmer.net  

this shop is run by alex in london. it's ideal for those of you based in the uk and europe, but alex also ships worldwide. sometimes international shipping is more affordable when an item is shipped from the uk than it is shipped from the usa, so if you're outside america, this shop may be a good option for you. there's also a bunch of new stuff from the tour and some bespoke items here. alex will also be taking orders for holiday cards shipped domestically in australia (we have a limited number of those so if you're in oz, get on it.) 

 ...  

AUSTRALIA-based merch shop: http://aushop.amandapalmer.net  

this shop is based in australia and primarily has the THERE WILL BE NO INTERMISSION items. this shop is ideal for all you aussies and kiwis who want the art book or the record and don't want to pay expensive international shipping. this shop doesn't have as extensive of a selection, but has the new album goodies.

GO FORTH!!!!

x

a

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you’re a patron, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol.

2. see All the Things i've made so far on patreon: http://amandapalmer.net/patreon-things

3. join the official AFP-patron facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/afpland

4. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

5. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

UPCOMING SHOWS:

Thu Dec 5 – UK – London – Union Chapel (SOLD OUT) 

Fri Dec 6 – UK – London – Union Chapel (SOLD OUT) 

Fri Dec 13th - UK - London - Union Chapel (SOLD OUT) 

Sat Dec 14th - UK - London - Union Chapel (SOLD OUT)
 

THEN DOWN UNDER:

Mon. Dec 30 — Wed.. Jan 1 - WOODFORD, QLD - Woodford Folk Festival

Thurs. Jan 16 — Sat. Jan 18 - LAUNCESTON, TAS - Mona Foma Confessional

Mon. Jan 20 - LAUNCESTON, TAS - Princess Theatre, Mona Foma

Wed. Jan 22 - MELBOURNE, VIC - Hamer Hall

Fri. Jan 31 - BRISBANE, QLD - Brisbane Powerhouse

Sat. Feb 1 - BRISBANE, QLD - Brisbane Powerhouse

Fri. Feb 7 - CANBERRA, ACT - Canberra Theatre

Sat. Feb 8 - SPRINGWOOD, NSW - Blue Mountains Theatre

Fri. Feb 14 — Sat. Feb 15 - ADELAIDE, SA - Bonython Hall, Adelaide Fringe 

Thurs. Feb 20 - SYDNEY, NSW - Enmore Theatre

Sat. Feb 22 - PERTH, WA - Perth Concert Hall, Perth Festival 

Sat. Feb 29 - DARWIN, NT - Darwin Entertainment Centre

Thurs. Mar 12 — Fri. Mar 13 - AUCKLAND, NZ - Auckland Arts Festival: Hollywood Avondale

Sat. March 14th - CHRISTCHURCH, NZ - The Piano

Mon. March 16th - WELLINGTON, NZ - St Peters Church, Wellington Fringe
 

ALL TICKETS: https://nointermission.amandapalmer.net