Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 191 (Patreon)

“Welcome to the Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures.”

Flint Fernvalley blinked as a succubus greeted him and his party as they stepped into the dungeon’s entrance hall. He was quite certain that this was out of the ordinary for the dungeon, since no one he had talked to had mentioned it. But, then, this dungeon had a dungeon master that was intelligent, one who paid attention to what happened outside the dungeon’s halls.

“Well, hello. I must admit I was not expecting such a welcome. Are you a representative of the Dungeon Master?”

The succubus smiled in that way they did that always made Flint’s little brain try and take over from the big brain. Memories of the Pleasure Halls of Shendilavri, a dungeon on his home world, came flooding back to him. Just like they did every time he saw a succubus.

It was practically a rite of passage for young Rodaini to challenge the first floor of the dungeon, almost as soon as they started going through puberty. The Pleasure Halls always showed those younglings a wonderful time, like a dealer in intoxicants giving cheap samples to hook returning customers. That first time was legendary, and it was instantly addictive.

The succubus’s laugh cleared his thoughts. “Yes, I am the Master’s representative, for the moment. He has heard of your show, and how you normally run things. Are you planning on signing the dungeon contracts?”

Flint nodded. “Yes, we’ve heard enough about the dungeon to know that the contracts seem like the best choice. We even left some of our normal weaponry behind, in anticipation of that.”

“Excellent. Well, if you come to this table here, the lady will have the contracts ready for you to sign. Now, the Master has an offer for you. A wager, if you will. So far, no one has fought their way to the twelfth floor of the dungeon. Should you manage that, the Master is willing to give you a live interview, in person.”

Flint’s eyes widened, but he did his best to keep his mind clear. An interview with a dungeon master would be priceless, but there was a reason that such things were vanishingly rare. “A wager implies some kind of stakes and conditions.”

“Naturally. There would be another contract to sign when you get to the interview itself, of course, but, for the wager, a simple challenge. If you make it to the twelfth floor, you get an interview. If you do not, you have to take twelve copies of the Master’s tome, and present them to public libraries, universities, or other such places where they might be freely read, on no less than four inhabited planets that are not Earth.”

Flint grinned as he saw the Demon’s game. Either way, the Demon won. Either he got publicity, from the interview, or he got his book out there to different worlds, to try and build his worship. And there was no real downside for himself. Even if he had to distribute the books, the stories he’d be able to tell would enhance his own standing. Sure the Demon stood to gain more than he did, but a wager where he lost nothing was an easy choice to make.

Flint finished signing the standard dungeon contract, and grinned. “That sounds like a fair wager. I accept. And we will see your Master on the twelfth floor.”

Soon after, they stepped through the swirling blue portal that took them down into the dungeon. Such portals were common enough, in dungeons that had gained ‘instances’ or other dimensional effects to keep people from bumping into each other, or expanding their space beyond the physical footprint they occupied. Still, to see one in a dungeon that was so young was fairly impressive.

As they stepped into the opening hallway, Flint turned to Suri. “All right, ready with the record stones?”

Suri produced four of the specialized recording crystals they used on their dives. At a command from the Stoneborn Geomancer, all four began floating, each one orbiting one of the party. Suri nodded to Flint. “Good to go.”

Flint smiled, and pulled out his spear, before looking at the crystal circling him. “Hello, and welcome once again to Flint’s Deadly Dungeon Dives. Your regular wondrous wisdom show to the world of dungeons and those who dive them.

“I’m Flint Fernvalley, a Deepstrike Lancer, and your host.” He then motioned to the rest of the party. “With me are your favorite ragtag band of Radani adventurers: Suri Fleetfoot, our Stoneborn Geomancer, Gisela Puddlefoot, Shadowhunter extraordinaire, and Samlad Cutton, the Bladeguard Paladin.”

“Now, normally at this point we would introduce you to our local guide to the dungeon, and get them to tell all you wonderful people a little about themselves, and the dungeon. However, unfortunately due to cultural concerns we’re going to be doing this without a local to come along with us. Now, before any of you worry, we have done what we always recommend to our viewers when they can’t find a local to guide them through a dungeon, and contacted the local Adventurer’s Guild for all the information they have on the dungeon, and its threats.”

He took a breath, and then continued, “Now, why are we diving without a guide? Because we are here on Earth! Yes, Earth, the planet that recently got reconnected to the System after so long that the dominant species had not even evolved the last time the System graced it. In the first of our series on the Dungeons of Earth, we are going with the dungeon that is quickly becoming the most famous (or perhaps infamous) of Earth’s dungeons, the Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures!

“Now, why would a dungeon only one galactic standard year old cause such trouble in finding a local guide? Well, to answer that, we’re going to have to go into an overview of Earth’s reintroduction to the system and of the dungeon itself. For parents and guardians of sapients under their respective age of majority or their racial equivalent, we wish to inform you that this episode is going to be discussing, and likely showing, material that might not be suitable for all viewers.”

A pause, and then, “Now, with that out of the way, the first thing you should know about Earth is that, since the System has effectively never existed on Earth for the entire history of the local race (known as humans), when the System was restored, they essentially had a planet-wide ‘Rebirth’ style spell cast on every living creature. This gave rise to many individuals gaining new races as they got their classes. One of these individuals was, apparently, the enigmatic individual that became the Dungeon Master of the Forbidden Chambers.

“This individual, known to most only as the Demon of the Dungeon, has, it seems, been able to affect the growth of the Forbidden Chambers dungeon. Because of this, any visitors should treat the Forbidden Chambers as a ‘managed’ or ‘designed’ dungeon, rather than a new, young, wild dungeon. There are many instances in the dungeon where there is a sophistication that is usually only found in older dungeons, where the dungeon soul has ‘awoken’ to true sentience.”

He took a breath. “Now, as the dungeon is being guided by a former mortal, it has come to take on some of that mortal’s… proclivities. In the case of the Demon of the Dungeon, sources suggest that he was a lustful, predatory being to begin with, and, after what the humans call the System Apocalypse, these proclivities have only grown as he no longer has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

“Because of this, anyone entering the dungeon should be warned of a severe risk to one’s chastity, as well as life and limb. Yes, this dungeon, like the infamous Lair of the Tentacle King on Entai, or the Corrupting Gaze of the Witch in the Ru’ul 34 district of Forchan, is a dungeon where the monsters will seek to violate those who enter. But many of the traps involved in the Forbidden Chambers involve an aphrodisiac gas, so powerful that it can drive many mad with lust.

“The gas works as a drug or toxin, and so can be countered by even first tier poison cleansing spells. However, it is so prevalent that healers, especially those in the first tier, often find themselves drained of mana if they attempt to keep cleansing the gas’s effects. But those effects are so powerful that, if left unchecked, an adventurer can find themselves forced into a mating frenzy. Indeed, in the early days of the dungeon, most of the deaths were due to this mating frenzy distracting the parties, so that they simply did not notice the low-level slimes until it was too late.”

Flint sighed, dramatically. “And this is why we do not have a local guide, my loyal viewers. For, you see, to the humans, we Rodaini bear a physical resemblance to human young. And humans are extremely protective of their young, meaning that the idea of procreation with their young is repulsive to them, to the point where they are likely to become very violent if it is suggested in their presence. All visitors to Earth, especially the P’dofls in our audience, should be aware of this to avoid cultural misunderstandings.”

Regaining his composure, he smiled. “However, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get on to what you’re all tuning in for, the dungeon! Gisela, if you will?”

Gisela moved forward, to an archway leading into the dungeon proper. “Sure thing, Flint.” She knelt down next to the door.

“Now, this is one of the traps that we’ve been warned about in advance. If you look, you can see a thin string crossing the door at roughly ankle height for humans. This looks like the standard trigger for a trap in low-level dungeons, but, according to reports, it is far more sophisticated than that.”

She looked into the room, and muttered the name of a spell in the Rodaini language. The next moment, the string, the and the first two squares of the tiled floor beyond the archway lit up in a glowing red for a few seconds, before fading. “As you can see, this trap is actually a series of traps, linked together.”

Flint nodded. “As any long-term viewer will know, this is far more sophisticated than the normal traps for a young dungeon. Gisela, how would you go about circumventing this trap?”

“Unfortunately, Flint, this is an example of an unavoidable trap under most conditions. It is easy enough to step past the string trigger, but that just puts you on one of the other traps. The size of the hallway, and the low height of the archway, make it extremely difficult to jump past all three traps. Not something most of your heavy armor types are going to manage.”

“Can you go through the three traps for us?”

“Sure thing. The string unleashes a cloud of that aphrodisiac gas that the System identifies as ‘Enflaming Gas’, filling the corridor and the room, to ensure that everyone gets a dose of the gas early. The first tile is a collapsing plate that drops you just far enough to perhaps twist your ankle, but the spikes in the small pit are sharp enough to pierce common footwear, and they are poisoned with a paralytic. The second tile is a magic proximity trap, which triggers hidden spears designed to maim and wound, rather than kill outright.

“The only way to fully disarm the trap is to have a mage dispel the magic trap at the exact same time as a trapfinder disarms the string trap and a cover is placed over the spike trap. Otherwise, all three traps go off. This is effectively impossible to do for all but the most skilled groups.”

“A perplexing problem, Gisela. How do the locals handle this trap?”

“Well, Flint, most groups decide to simply trigger the string trap deliberately. While it seems counterintuitive to deliberately expose yourself to the gas, it is easier to deal with than the other two. Indeed, this appears to be the intended way to handle the situation, as, once one of the three traps is activated, the other two disarm themselves, making the gas the safest way forward.”

Flint nodded. This was going to be a great intro to the show. The Forbidden Chambers promised to be the most unique dungeon he’d been in yet. “Well, I see Samlad is ready with cleansing magic, so let’s get started, shall we?”