Lewd Dungeon, Book 20 Prologue (Patreon)

 And back, by popular demand, is another episode of Trade Chat!

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

TsundereHealer: Hey, can anyone tell me why there’s a shrine to the Demon of the Dungeon in the Guild Hall?

Id10t: Because the Demon made a deal with the Guild. They put the shrine in, and he arranges portals to different areas. That’s how the portal to Swamptown came about.

BadCompany: And the portal room in Swamptown has portals to Guild halls in Atlanta, New York, Seattle, Houston, LA, Denver, and Anchorage. Each guild hall has a shrine to the Demon nearby. Basically, it gives him the power to make the portals.

RangerMiguel: BadCompany is correct. Also, I’ve been informed that there is a portal that will soon open to the moon, and the dungeon that was recently discovered there.

DarkEnchanter: Wait, what is this about a dungeon on the moon? Who the hell discovered that? HOW did they discover that?

RangerMiguel: The Demon discovered it. Even mentioned it in chat. As for how, you’d have to ask him the specifics, but he said that the System told him it was there.

Craig34: Is this dungeon like the Dungeon?

RangerMiguel: Unknown. No Guild members have run it, yet. You know, with the lack of atmosphere, and all.

Domino: Hmm. With magic to compensate for things, you could probably make space suits that weren’t nearly as bulky or fragile as the old ones.

Lord_Kickass: If this dungeon is on the moon, how did the Demon get there? 

Temptation: I didn’t go, myself, naturally. I sent my adoring worshipers, in the spaceship some silly Atlanteans left on my doorstep.

ScoopGirl: So, your worshipers actually went to the moon?

Temptation: Yes, and, as one might expect, the System does have space suits that are nowhere near the size of the Pre-System ones used by NASA and other space agencies. Magic makes quite the difference.

SwiftTaylor: So, uh, what do these space suits look like?

Crusader: TAYLOR!

SwiftTaylor: But it is space! SPACE!

Crusader: Ugh! I can’t believe you! You know what an evil bastard he is! How can you even think of asking him about things, even if it involves ‘space’?

SwiftTaylor: But, space!

Temptation: Ahem. Think closer to a wetsuit than NASA suits, and you’re getting the right idea.

Kimiko: You know, if you don’t want to get involved with the Demon, you might be able to find suits to trade for with some of the spaceships that are starting to come.

DonnyJuan: Oh, yeah. A couple freighters and some shuttles landed at a pad near Swamptown the other day.

Temptation: The Ambassadors paying off debts, and some representatives from… other factions establishing friendly relations.

MightyMouse: Most of the other transports have gone to different cities around the world. Probably looking for interesting goods to buy for export, and anything they can sell.

SunnyBunz: Speaking of aliens, an alien reality show star decided to stop by Swamptown to film his latest special.

ScoopGirl: He going into the dungeon?

SunnyBunz: Yeah, his whole thing is apparently going into newer or easier dungeons, and giving people who would never normally go in a taste of adventuring. Well, as much of one as you can get from a reality show.

ScoopGirl: Hmm. I’ll have to see if I can get an interview when he comes back out.

ImAPally: If he comes back out.

SunnyBunz: Well, he isn’t an idiot. He was looking for local guides, but, well, his race looks like children, so the only takers they found were creeps he didn’t want anything to do with.

Temptation: For the record, there have been three individuals who attempted to bring minors under the age of 15 into the Forbidden Chambers. One was ten. All three were killed, along with their party members, and the minors escorted to the guild hall.

Satyr: That doesn’t sound like you.

Anonymous3: Even in prison, pedophiles get jumped because of what they did.

Temptation: What Anon said. It is actually written into the dungeon contract that, if an individual is under 18, or the equivalent age for their species of birth, then they can only enter with individuals who are no more than 4 years different from them in age, and no one under the age of 15 is allowed.

ScoopGirl: That sounds… oddly specific.

Temptation: If some high school sweethearts want to come in and fool around, I’m not going to stop them. If a 15-year-old brat comes in with his 50-year-old sugar momma, then that is not going to end well for the sugar momma and any other adults in the party.

Scholar: Wait, I’m reading the dungeon contract right now. What is this about transfer of ownership?

Temptation: Oh, yes. The System transfers ownership of all property owned by those who break the ‘underage’ clause to me, and I absorb the buildings and items to add to the resources I have at my disposal. The land, if any, I leave vacant until I have need of it.

Anonymous4: Damn.

Crusader: You didn’t seem to care that much with me.

Temptation: You were legal.

BestGirl: ANYWAY! What about those ships hanging out around the moon? They don’t look like freighters. More like something out of the Warhammer video games.

Ambassador: That is part of the Temple Fleet of Pofmis. I believe they have come to settle a dispute with the Demon.

RangerMiguel: Yeah, their leader came to visit me, asked what I knew about the Dungeon.

Crusader: HAH! Finally, Justice will be done to you, bastard!

Temptation: Oh, I doubt it. All they’ve done is use shuttles to send down 700 soldiers. Those of you in Swamptown might have seen them burning out a landing area outside the town.

Crusader: Still, 700 soldiers of the faith are more than enough to deal with the monsters you have!

Temptation: Silly girl. Do you think I haven’t planned for people to try just overwhelming my defenses with numbers? It was one of the first restrictions I put in place, once the dungeon unlocked the ability to set dungeon laws.

Kimiko: This is the first I’ve heard of that.

Temptation: That is because it hasn’t come up, yet. Those silly crusaders are going to find things much more difficult than they were expecting, I assure you.