Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 91 (Patreon)

Chapter 91 – Reassess

Once they were all dressed (with Howe pulling spare gear from hir pack), Hicks took a breath, and said, “All right, safe to say that Goblin Town kicked our asses. I think we can all agree that things were going well up until the fight with the Boss Goblin. So, let’s go through it and figure out what went wrong, so we don’t go through that again. We still need to make it to the altar so we can try and fix those of us who got changed. That means we have a few more floors to deal with, and I’d really like to not get blindsided again.”

Turner shook her head. “The guns worked just fine against most of the goblins. But the boss cast some spell on his group. You saw how their skin looked like it was covered in bark? That was probably some kind of defensive spell that was different from the shield the Wizard used on the first floor.”

Howe sighed, “It was a Barkskin spell, from what I could tell. Reduces damage from piercing and bludgeoning sources. So instead of trying to block the bullets, like the Wizard did, they just reduced the damage of the bullets to the point where they could use those heal over time spells to heal almost as fast as we could hurt them.”

Drake grimaced. “And with us all going with guns, the warriors basically hunkered down behind their shields and used defensive skills to keep us from focusing on their casters. And the slimes moving in didn’t help any, since bullets aren’t terribly useful against them to begin with.”

Hudson sighed, as shi leaned against the nearby wall. “It is like football. You might be a top tier passing offense, but if you do nothing but drop back to pass, any halfway decent defense is going to adapt and rip you to pieces, because you don’t have a run threat that keeps them from blitzing every single down. We were all pass, and no ground game, and they were able to make us pay.”

Hicks sighed. “So, we go with mixed ranged and melee when we’re facing the bosses, at least. Going with a sling probably won’t work for those going into melee, since the rifle will get in the way when you’re trying to swing a sword or raise your shield. So, we won’t be able to switch weapons back and forth easily in the middle of combat.”

“Not with rifles, sir, but if we had sidearms, that would give us options.” Hicks looked over to Howe, and nodded for hir to continue. “It won’t help us on this run, but in the future, if we had a sidearm we could switch between melee and ranged fairly quickly, at least in a pinch. And a submachine gun could be used with a shield, depending on the make. An FN P90 could be used one-handed, with a shield in the other to help brace. Reloading would be an issue, though.”

Hicks grinned. “That doesn’t help us now, but we’ll talk with the R&D boys when we get back to base. Get them to either get some kind of rig allowing for quick reloads, or see about enchanting the magazine like they did our bags to increase the ammo we already have loaded. Good idea, though.”

Hudson laughed at that. “Oh shit, you mean you want them to make us Hollywood movie mags that just never run out of bullets? I always wanted one of those, even before magic was a thing!” The rest of the group joined in hir laughter, before Hicks quieted them down.

He looked at the rest of the group, and said, “All right, here’s the plan. We’re dealing with big cats and lizardfolk, all hunting us in their natural habitat. Guns aren’t going to be much use when they get in close. And unlike plants and slimes, these things are smart enough to work together if we go announcing our location with gunfire. Switch back to the weapon sets we used in the first-floor swamps. We already know that the idols are needed to get through the door to the main boss, so no point going there until we find them. The number of idols doesn’t change, though their positions have been said to move around.”

As she began equipping her ‘normal’ weapons, instead of the rifle, Turner said, “How are we going to go about finding them? This floor’s never really been mapped out, since there aren’t any landmarks, so it is hard to know just how much area is covered here. And none of the groups who got this far were able to do any real mapping, because they were too busy fighting the dungeon creatures.”

Howe groaned. “I really don’t want to go tramping around in this swamp level more than necessary, especially when we have to find a way to the altar to figure out what the Demon will make us do to turn us back how we used to be. But there’s only two ways to get any real hint at where the damn idols will be, that we know of.”

Drake shook his head. “If we can get our hands on one of them, it may be possible to find the others without playing the Demon’s games.”

Hicks locked his eyes on the sergeant, and said, “Explain.”

“I was checking the forums before we left, looking for any additional intel. One of the groups that made it through said that there was some kind of magical resonance between the statues and the door. They said both their mage and their cleric were able to attune themselves to ‘listen’ to that resonance, and were able to get a bearing on the remaining idols and the door that matched what the barbarian that prayed to the Demon got, though less precise.”

“Did they have any hints on how to find the first piece?”

“That group didn’t, but another group did. They went to the door, and attuned to ‘listen’ from that end, following the trail back to where they were able to find one of the idols, and they could then start working the problem normally. Apparently, the whole process requires some major mana sensitivity, which is why only spellcasters have a shot at it.”

Hicks looked to the group. “Opinions?”

Vasquez looked from where she was adjusting the blades she wore on her hip, and slipped a shortbow from her enchanted quiver, already strung and ready to fire. “Hate to say it, but an unproven theory like that could backfire. The Demon trolls those forums constantly. That information may be incomplete, or come with a sting. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but we should probably use one of the ‘normal’ methods to find one of the idols, and then we can see whether there’s anything to it.”

Howe shuddered. “So, one of us either prays to a demon, or we have to find a lizardman and let it fuck one of us? Can’t say I’m a fan of either one of those options, honestly.”

Vasquez shrugged, “Better than wandering into one of the Demon’s traps because he set something up just to distract people who were trying to get around his games like that. He can be pretty spiteful at times, especially if you pull one over on him.”

Hicks nodded once. “Agreed. I can’t do the prayers, since it would put me out of favor with the Lord. I may be Baptist instead of something like a Catholic, but there are some very specific rules against worshipping demons. I won’t force anyone else into this. If need be, we can do this the hard way.”

Hudson sighed, and said, “Might as well be me.” Shi reached into hir bag and pulled out one of the holy symbols that they’d gathered earlier, after the first-floor boss fight. Shi paused to take a breath, closed hir eyes, and prayed silently, “Oh, Demon of the Dungeon, I pray to you to show me the way to the idols.”

“Oh ho! Calling on me like this, hmm? Well, you’re a very good futa, so I’ll accept that, this time, but you really need more sincerity next time. You’ll never reach the Black Altar with that meager level of conviction. Hmm. It just occurred to me that the challenge rooms in the Temple aren’t set up for those who aren’t either male or female. I’ll need to make a quick adjustment…”

The presence left hir mind, causing Hudson to shudder. Still, the locations of the three idols were laid bare to hir. Checking to see which was the closest, she pointed the bearing, and gave an approximate distance. “That was freaky. The demon was literally in my head. Apparently, he needs to make ‘adjustments’ to the special rooms in the temple, so that he can make sure that it will work properly for those of us who aren’t male or female.

Hicks shook his head. “We’ll worry about that when we get there. For now, we have idols to track down. Let’s move, people! These idols aren’t going to find themselves. And keep a watch for the natives. No sense any of us getting killed because we got lazy.”

With that thought in mind, the soldiers set off, as they’d done on the first floor, but there were some noticeable differences, if one had watched them before. Howe, the dogkin hermaphrodite, was having trouble getting used to hir new ‘equipment’, both in terms of hir dog-like nature, but also the rod swinging in front of her and taking up quite a bit of room in the leather pants she wore under her robes. Drake was now a couple inches taller, and his body was proportioned differently than it had been, forcing him to get used to his new strength. Hudson, however, was the worst off, as shi was both now possessing the wondrous items of distraction known as breasts, but hir arms and legs were shorter, which threw hir reach off by a lot. They had a couple really ‘interesting’ fights before they finally got things so that they were at least proficient with their bodies.

Just before the ten-minute span of the imprinted knowledge was up, they saw a stone plinth rising up on a small dais in the middle of the swamp. At the top of it was a silver idol depicting the Demon. Of course, they couldn’t just walk up and claim it, not without first dealing with the four lizardfolk lying in wait, their spears already leveled, and spells of protection and defense already falling upon them, courtesy of the shaman who stood in the back of the three warriors.

That battle would have been more troubling, perhaps, if the soldiers hadn’t REALLY had a healthy store of frustrations from this dungeon dive that they had not yet fully finished venting. Howe’s fireball spell slammed into the middle of the three lizardfolk in front, just moments before spears and swords and daggers and the cleric’s mace all battled for a meeting with the poor warriors’ tender insides, even if they had to smash through their scaled hides to secure the introduction. The shaman, who had herself been caught up in the initial fireball spell, was only able to get a weak healing over time spell off before rays of intense cold blasted the wounded spellcaster, sending its soul into the recycling bin, to make the journey to respawning once again.

When Howe picked up the idol, she took the time to truly examine the idol, using her mage’s senses to watch the flow of magic around the item. Apparently, the forums weren’t lying. There were two tendrils of energy flowing from the idol, extending in two different directions. “I can see it. There is energy connecting the idols. I don’t see any connection to lead one to the door, but perhaps the connection will form when all three idols are together, and lead us to the door. At any rate, I think I can lead us to the other idols without forcing us to debase ourselves or ask the Demon for help.”

Hicks nodded. “Well done, Lieutenant. Be sure to write up how you did it once we return to base. If that energy can be detected, they might be able to make a scanner, or something like that to help track magic, both inside the dungeon and out. That could be huge. For now, move it, while we try and get the next piece before the lizards know what’s happening!”