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Patreon Exclusive - October 2021 (11.8.21) (Patreon)

Published:
2021-11-09 04:06:48
Imported:
2024-05

Content

Mal's surgery was a success! We'll talk a bit about that, and what her extended recovery means for content in November and December.

Files

Patreon Exclusive - October 2021

This is a reward video for October 2021, intended for our Patreon supporters. Patreon: http://patreon.com/stephengeorg

Comments

Lindsay Michelle

Hi guys - I wasn't going to comment, but I saw today's vlog and it was something I really needed to hear. More specifically, it was a culmination of all I needed to hear. I understand why you two decided to announce the hysterectomy on that vlog instead of doing it in this Patreon video or on the livestream - you wanted to give context without being interrupted that you two were fine with never having your own biological kids and had felt this way for years. I'm glad to see so many people supporting you on this decision - your quality of life is way more important in this case, and you wanted to be sure all the endo was removed. It got me thinking on my own situation. I've been married for 4.5 years (holy crap... it doesn't seem that long) and we still do not have kids. I do not know if it will happen. I will be 34 next year, too (I'm only a month or so younger than Mal). And yes, the stuff about bugging people about having kids is VERY annoying. From the first Mother's Day I was married, my in-laws have this weird thing of telling married women who are not mothers happy mother's day. I have abhorred that from the beginning. I tried to heavily hint last year that I did not like being told that but people don't seem to get it. Even if I was trying to have a child, I could have been having trouble conceiving or staying pregnant - I am very against people getting into women's business like that because it can be hurtful to say things like that, even if you think you're being "inclusive". On top of that, my anxiety has been really bad the past year or two and I'm finally in therapy since last winter. Some things have gotten better but I still don't feel healthy enough or mentally ready for a child. And you both brought up good points that there are benefits to not having kids, even though you said you know you would have been good parents. That's how I feel, too. I don't NEED kids even though kids are great and we have a lot of nieces and nephews around that are amazing. I am sick of this societal pressure on me. I really don't know what's going to happen because I always thought it would happen sooner, but as things happen in my life and after I saw Mal's journey with endo, it really has inspired me to advocate for myself, especially when it comes to my health. And this was a year when I had a very terrible doctor experience, which I know I've talked about before, and I realized I don't have to settle for crappy doctors that gaslight you. I'm done with that. I'm done with people, even if they are loving family members that think that are doing the right thing by nudging me to get pregnant. I realize I need these boundaries and to think for myself and not feel bad about any aspect of family planning. Luckily my husband is supportive and even though he's always been ready for kids, he never pushes me to be ready because he knows we have to be on the same page. And he knows we may never have any and that's okay too. I want to be excited and ready and not terrified I made a mistake by doing this at the wrong time. I admit I would like to find something important to do with my life especially if I don't have any kids, and it's a bit daunting to feel like you don't have that level of life purpose yet. I still don't know exactly what is going to happen with me having kids but I've stopped trying to say it will be a certain year because it never ends up happening. I need to stop forcing myself to do something now when I'm not ready. Sorry this was so long - I've always had this stuff on my mind but it's hard to find an outlet for such feelings, and hearing Mal's journey with endo really helped me sort out my feelings surrounding reproducing, for lack of a better term. I hope Mal keeps healing at a good rate like she has been and that she remembers that a lot of people care about her and have her back! You two have a long life ahead of you with many adventures to go on :)

stephengeorg
>>71938450

Lindsay, I’m really glad this could be that outlet for you! I read your comment aloud to Mal, too, since I thought she’d like to hear it. We know how frustrating it can be to hear the hints (or just outright questions) from friends and family. Some of Mal’s aunts have been a little pushy about it over the years, and one time a family friend (who is a grandmother several times over) told us I *owed* my mother grandchildren, and we should hurry before we “can’t” — it was a pretty big yikes. I think that’s also a huge issue: there’s all this problematic pressure on women as-is, then some sort of “time limit” is thrown on top. The risks to pregnancy are so incredibly overblown, and it makes me furious that women not only get pressured into pregnancy, but often much earlier than they are physically, mentally, or financially ready, just to beat “nature’s clock”. It’s awful. Plenty of folks have healthy children into their 40s (or later!), when they feel like more of their life is figured out. There’s no wrong answer. You do you! There’s nothing wrong with waiting to have kids, and there’s nothing wrong with living a child-free life. Life is short, and I think the most important thing is to seek personal happiness. Right now that fulfillment could come more from traveling than children (that’s how we feel, at least!), and that’s fine. Our personal goals and happiness could change someday, but if they don’t, that’s okay, too. Our best to you and your husband, Lindsay! We wish you both wellness and happiness as we approach the holiday season.

aNerdySalesman

Wow. That whole YouTube Partner manager segment was eye opening. Especially as someone just getting into LP production over the last year, this was very good stuff to learn. Do you have any thoughts on ideal highlight runtime? Thank you!