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  • I can almost always tell what’s in your diaper before I check it. And while I may still decide to give that performative check from time to time, it’s only to humiliate you. I’d much rather you just tell me what you’ve done to your pants when I ask you.
  • If you think that being in public will change how I treat you, you’re going to be very disappointed. If you’re thirsty, then I have a baby bottle for you. If you’re hungry, you’re going to need to put your bib on first. If you need to potty... well, I shouldn’t have to tell you what you’re expected to do then.
  • Just wet?  Hmm, I don’t know. I think we both know that it’s been a while since I changed an especially dirty diaper. Are you holding out on me? Why don’t you come back to me when you truly have a diaper worth changing.
  • It’s not that I think you’re a “bad” lover. But...you’re wearing diapers. Diapers that you’re using. I think you need to come to terms with the fact that I have needs that can only be met by a man who doesn’t smell like baby powder and piss.
  • “I’m sorry to bother you, miss. But my husband here...well, if you couldn’t smell for yourself, he’s overdue for a diaper change. Your store doesn’t happen to have a family restroom that we could borrow for a few minutes, does it?”
  • I don’t care how badly you need to do a “number two.” You’re more than well aware of what I expect from you by now. You can either hold it until later, or you can fill your diaper now and wait until we get home from shopping before I change you.
  • Is that the best you can do? That was barely a tantrum. Why don’t you marinate in your diaper a little longer and see if you can truly get my attention with some genuinely pathetic thrashing around and crying.
  • If you think this is a big plug for your bottom, then you simply won’t be able to comprehend what I have in store for you for when you’ve acclimated to this.
  • Unbelievable. How long were you just going to sit there like that? Did you not think that I could smell you? I could smell you from down the hall. You know, if you didn’t think it was important for you to come to me right away and ask to be changed, I don’t see any reason why I should just drop what I’m doing now for your sake.
  • I think it’s only fair, really. If you can stink up the whole house with your dirty bottom, then I should be able to put your dirty diaper on your face while I change you into a fresh one.
  • Speak up, Baby, I can hardly hear you. I’m sorry...what? Well, we have company, so you’re going to have to be very loud. Yes? Oh...you need to be changed. Gosh, that must’ve been difficult to shout in a crowded room...
  • Did you...really think that I was going to...fuck you? You’re wearing a goddam diaper. You’ve pissed yourself. I have no need for anything like that getting close to me. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you just hump the floor, right here in front of me. And you can pretend you’re fucking me. I want to hear all about how good you can pretend it is.
  • What is this, now? Three times? Four times? Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve pissed the same diaper tonight. You clearly need a change, but...I can’t bring myself to end this streak. Why don’t you keep sipping from your bottle and we’ll see how many more times you can add to the diaper before it's just a completely lost cause.
  • I’m disappointed. I offered to change your diaper with the expectation that you had filled it up pretty well. But there’s still quite a bit of room in here. I think what we’ll do, instead, is that I’ll put this diaper back on you, and then I’ll put a new diaper on you, over top of it. Then I’ll allow for more than enough time for you to fill it up completely.


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