Performing in a Historic Jazz Club (Patreon)

Last night I performed in a historic jazz club. 

It's not my scene. It's  not my style. They wanted classic burlesque to jazz and that is hella off brand for me. I'm known for doing weird stuff and most jazz made after 1950 could be used to force me to give up government secrets. No one introduced me. The audience was not expecting burlesque. It was a  recipe for disaster. 

But I had a fucking blast. 

Literally just one week ago I was thinking I might be done with burlesque. Not really burlesque itself but the things AROUND burlesque. The interpersonal drama, the ethical questions of whom to work with (or not work with) and why, the logistical problems, the difficulty getting audiences, the low pay and poor working conditions and the knowledge that a person who works hard and has talent will make the same amount of money as someone who doesn't. The work to joy ratio was dipping dangerously low and even though I loved my Hannibal show, I still didn't get the same high I used to get from it.

But then I did this, and it felt great. I felt like me again, which is weird considering how different this was from my usual performances.

I think a problem I hadn't been considering is one of balance. I think there are two very different artists in me. One is obsessed with  story and meaning and detail and ART. It's the weird, obsessive, Darren  Aronofsky part of my brain. The other part of me is Iggy Pop. It doesn't give a fuck about those things. It says "Don't think. Move. Feel. Do."

In my really good acts, they work together. But that's pretty rare and usually requires doing the act a bunch of times (or maybe, like, rehearsing.) OC fed both parts because I could do whatever ART I wanted and then get up on the bar and just *move.* Last night I knew my song, I  had three things to take off, and for the first time in a long while I  just went out and winged it. It felt great. It felt fresh and renewing. It was so simple, so easy, and the audience fucking loved it. I kind of don't want to admit it, but I think audiences generally like my Iggy Pop better than my Darren Aronofski. (Which is probably true of the real ones, too) 

So when they said they'd like to do a regular show there, I said yes. They  want to start with a monthly but are aiming for it to become weekly. And, right now, that sounds great. If all I have to do is put on a pretty outfit and move, I would *love* to do that once a week. And if I get the apartment I'm applying for, it'll be a half hour subway ride  from my apartment. Also it is in a HISTORIC Jazz club. Like birthplace-of-beebop-listed-in-the-register-of-historic-places type of historic. Which is pretty damn cool.

I  kind of can't believe that a week ago I wasn't sure I wanted to do  burlesque anymore and now I'm like "weekly classic burlesque show to  live jazz? Sign me up!"

Maybe I was more drunk than I thought?