[Spirit of Lust] Chapter 220: A painful encounter. (Patreon)

It wasn’t a lookalike. Despite the makeup, the high heels, the dress and the excessive jewelry, the woman Will was looking at was indeed Helga. His chest tightened enough to hurt. It hurt so much. His fingers and arms went tense, his face went numb and the whole world, save for him and Helga, seemed to spin.

Will saw the memory clearly, too perfect for comfort, engraved in his eyes despite wishing he could throw it away. Helga in their old apartment, weeks after moving to university. She brought a classmate of hers to their bedroom while he was away, and he saw them.

Before then, a previous girlfriend went behind his back during a school camping trip. She heard them fucking in the woods. Before that, another girlfriend cheated on him while away for christmas break. And longer still before then, he found his first ever girlfriend kissing a schoolmate behind the house at someone’s birthday party.

Then, for a split second, as his mind replayed the memories of Helga in their bed with another man, she was replaced with Reina, and Will suddenly found himself out of breath.

“W-Will? Are you okay? Will!” Cynthia shook his arm, her face pale, though maybe not as much as his was.

“Mr. Sawyer!?” Paul stood up and looked around.

“An attack!? Here!?” John asked.

“No, I sense no magic,” Aoi said, stepping forward and putting her hands firmly on Will’s shoulders. “Mr. Long, please sit down. We don’t want to attract attention.”

A panic attack, plain and simple. Will began to take deep breaths, doing his best to rationalize everything. No, just because he didn’t know what Reina was doing right now did it mean she was cheating on him. The same went for the other girls. It didn’t. It didn’t.

…

But if they did, could he blame them? After all he was…

“Will, what’s happening?” Aoi asked him in a soft voice and rubbing his back.

“Should we take him somewhere else? Is there an infirmary here?” Cynthia asked Paul and John.

Amelia followed Will’s eyes, examining the general area where his eyes were stuck. Then… “Shit, I get it now.”

Will was suddenly struck by a painful jolt to the spine. An attempt by Ishtar at a forceful takeover that didn’t work out, but knowing her, the pain was her goal from the get go.

‘Relax, Will. No one’s going behind your back. No one wants to go behind your back. I’d know. Breathe. You should know this. There, that’s it. I’m here with you and I’ll always be.’

Her voice was soothing, more so than it had ever been. Will’s muscles began to relax, the pressure in his chest began to fade, his mind began to clear, and a heavy bout of exhaustion hit him all at once.

He took one more deep breath and smiled at the two other men. He was in front of potential business partners, he needed to save face somehow. “I’m sorry about that. This beer is stronger than I realized, and I’m already not the best with alcohol.”

The two men's expressions relaxed and they breathed out in relief.

“Fuck me, kid, you almost gave me a heart attack,” John said, laughing. “For a moment I thought it was an attack, and only an insane bastard would do that here.”

“I’m very sorry. If you’ll excuse me for a moment. I need to go to the restroom.”

“Let me go with you,” Amelia said, smiling at Will as she stood up with him. “We don’t want you throwing up just anywhere, you lightweight.”

“Thanks,” Will said, genuinely grateful. “Aoi, stay with Cynthia, please. I’ll be fine.”

“Very well.” Aoi made a light bow, but her eyes said she was still worried.

Amelia led Will out of the hall and into the spacious lobby, over to a corner without people nearby.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Will told Amelia. “I…”

Amelia cupped Will’s cheek and forced his eyes to meet hers. “I know. I saw her, too.”

Will’s heart skipped a beat.

Right, Amelia knew Helga to some extent. They rented the old apartment together from Amelia for about a month before… things happened. It was practically right after that that Will and Amelia hooked up for the first time, right when Ishtar got inside his head.

“Are you okay?” Amelia asked him.

“I… don’t know. I’m better now, though my back hurts since Ishtar had to snap me out of it,” Will said, chuckling humorlessly.

“Hey, listen to me,” Amelia spoke firmly. “None of us is going to betray you, you hear? None of us is that stupid, and we’re sure as hell not desperate for sex. Things are different now. You’re different.”

Was he? Will wasn’t sure. Still, she was right that things were different now. Will had Ishtar on his side.

“Right. Right.” He took another deep breath. “But why is she here? Did she… get involved with the underworld, too? Was she always?”

Amelia swallowed. “I don’t know. Should we ask those guys? They might know.”

Stiffly, Will nodded.

“And if they don’t?” she asked. “What do you want to do?”

‘Leave’ was his first instinct. Just knowing he was in the same building with that woman made him feel weak, vulnerable. But they had things to do here. This was an opportunity too good to waste.

“We ignore her for now, unless she… comes to talk to us. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Amelia leaned forward and gently kissed Will’s lips. “Will, we all have things stronger than us. I know you’ll overcome this eventually, but it doesn’t have to be now.”

“Thank you.”

Right.

Right.

He just had to take it one step at a time. It had been too long since he had thought about it, his guard was down, his mind was focused somewhere else. Seeing Helga was a shock, yes, but Will had moved on already. So he kept telling himself.

After a short while, Will and Amelia walked back into the hall, saw Cynthia and Aoi still at the table with John and Paul and made their way there.

“What? No way! William Sawyer!? What on earth are YOU doing here?” 

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

Will heard Helga’s painfully familiar voice just behind him.