[Spirit of Lust 2] Chapters 426 & 427. (Patreon)

Chapter 426: Ideas for Mila’s future.

Mila soon began to calm down, taking deep breaths with her face against my chest. We held each other close until she pulled away, giving me an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d cry…” she said, wiping her tears. “I didn’t mean to make this more awkward.”

“No, don’t worry. Actually… I hope it doesn’t sound weird, but I’m happy that… you came to me for this,” I admitted bashfully. “I know you couldn’t exactly go to the other girls, but…”

Mila shook her head and giggled. “You were the first one to pop into my head. I wanted to see you. And Sarah would’ve yelled at me.”

We both laughed, more so because we knew it was true.

We went quiet again, this time taking a moment to enjoy the comfort the other’s presence brought. And I know it might be a little arrogant of me to say my presence was comforting to Mila, but I knew it was. I felt it in many things. In the way she hugged me, in the way she breathed, in the way she snuggled closer, and most clearly, in our mental connection.

Once I felt Mila had cleared her mind, I began to ask her more questions.

“Did your parents yell at you?”

She shook her head. “No. They weren’t even that mad. They were just… frustrated, disappointed. I didn’t say anything back to them. I couldn’t. They were right in everything they said. That’s what hurt the most. I… I don’t know what to do, Oliver. I don't have anything I'm passionate about or any skills I excel at like you guys.”

“What about those modeling offers you got? They’re still there, right? And you enjoy having photos taken.”

Mila’s body tensed. She pursed her lips and looked away from me for a second. “They are. And I do like it, but…” She swallowed. “It’s complicated.”

“We have time.”

She smiled and looked into my eyes again. “I guess we do. There are… two things that worry me about going that route. One is that it seems… stupid.”

I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”

“Or maybe not stupid. Brainless? I don’t know how to describe it.”

“You think that because everyone else is going to university, going into modeling will make you look stupid?” I asked without judgment.

After a moment of consideration, Mila nodded. “And feel stupid, too,” she added.

“Do you think you’d be happier reading textbooks and studying for difficult tests?”

The face she made said it all. “I… don’t think I could keep that up for long.”

“I don’t think everyone needs to go to university. I think you have a talent, Mila. You take to a camera naturally, and it’s not just because of how beautiful you are. I mean, Alice is gorgeous too, but every time we take a picture she smiles awkwardly or blinks.”

Mila laughed. “She does! She’s so uncomfortable doing it. You too, for that matter. You always get all stiff when we point a camera at you. We get the best pictures of you when you aren’t looking.”

“See what I mean? Then there’s Noelle, too. She’s a streamer, but she doesn’t want to show her face, so she does it behind a virtual avatar. You, on the other hand, seem in your element. You pose nicely, your smile is stunning and it’s like you always look at the camera in perfect angles. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to try to hone those talents to make a living out of it.”

Mila bit her lip. “So you really think I should go into modeling?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t say that. I think it’s something you should consider if you, yourself, see value in it. I also don’t think it’s brainless to hone a skill, any skill. If I did, I wouldn’t be playing guitar, don’t you think?”

“...” Mila snuggled closer, with her head against my chest. “There’s one more thing, though.”

“And that is?”

“Oliver… you don’t pay attention to my social media, right?” she asked me.

I flinched. “I mean… I don’t use it and I prefer it when you tell me things yourself, so…”

She shook her head. “It’s not that I’m mad about it. I actually prefer that you don’t look at it because…” She swallowed. “I get comments sometimes that I’m afraid you’ll see.”

Ah. Those. “Yeah. I’ve seen them,” I said with a grimace.

Mila’s body tensed up, her hold on me became stronger. “Y-You have!? But you… You’ve never said anything!”

“I may not use social media, but I spend a good amount of time on the internet. I know how… daring people can be when behind the perceived protection of an online persona. I looked a couple of times, got uncomfortable and didn’t do it again.”

Mila’s face went red, her lip quivered and her eyes got watery. “Oliver, I don’t…! I try to delete as many of those as I can! I never get in contact with those creeps!”

I chuckled. “I know.” I smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

Mila got… some pretty creepy comments in her photos. Guys trying to get her to contact them, guys talking about the things they’d love to do to her, jealous women calling her a slut… And those were the comments that got past moderation and filters. Mila had surprisingly tough skin when it came to online opinions of her.

“I hate that you get those comments, and I hate the idea that there are other guys out there that see you as nothing more than… you know. I’ve been afraid to ask you if being online is worth all that because you still seem to enjoy it.”

“I…” Mila gripped my shirt tightly. “I hate those comments, I do. But… I…” She swallowed hard. “I do enjoy the attention. When people tell me I took a nice picture, or that a shirt looks nice on me, or that I look pretty…” Her voice began to grow weaker, softer. “You always make me feel beautiful, loved and wanted, so I know I don’t need to be told that by strangers on the internet, but even so…” She bit her lip hard. “Oliver… Am I an attention whore?”

“...” It was a tough question to answer. I wanted to tell her that she wasn’t, but that wouldn’t be enough for her to believe it. Besides, I had to admit I wasn’t fully comfortable with Mila being lusted over by strangers.

“I think a bit of vanity is healthy for one’s self-esteem,” I began. “You’re proud of how you look and want to show it off. I don’t think that’s wrong. I don’t think it’s good to look for approval in strangers, but is that what you’re doing?”

Mila fervently shook her head. “No! The praise and compliments feel nice, but I don’t need them. I only need your approval.”

“No. You shouldn’t need mine, either,” I told her, smiling at her. “I love you, Mila. And that also means I trust you. I want you to be happy, to be comfortable with yourself and with what you do. It’s… not lost on me how weird it is that I’m the one saying it considering my relationships, but it’s true. If being on social media and being a model makes you happy, I can easily accept it.”

Mila smiled wryly at me. “Are you sure it doesn’t make you jealous?”

I chuckled. “No, it does. At least a bit. I can’t help it. Like I said, I trust you. It’s me who’s the problem. So… I want to use that jealousy not to cage you all, but to stay on my toes, to keep striving to be the best I can be, for you girls and for myself.”

“...” I saw Mila’s face reddening. She grabbed the neck of my shirt with both hands and pulled me into a hard kiss that made my head spin. She forced her tongue inside my mouth and pushed me down on my bed.

When words were lacking, Mila decided to communicate in the way that best worked for us. With us, nothing said more than physical contact.

************

Chapter 427: Intermission - Realization, wishes and hope.

Mila had an epiphany. Talking to Oliver, her sweet, wonderful boyfriend, helped her understand so many things it was hard to process them all.

She realized that going into modeling was a more appealing prospect than she first thought, though that was still too big a decision to say she had made up her mind about it. And as important as that was, she also gained a better understanding of her own relationship with Oliver and what social media attention meant to her.

Mila loved Oliver to a near unhealthy degree. He meant so much to her that she had, without realizing it, began to make decisions based solely on what would make him happy. That he told her she didn’t have to do that only made her fall from him even harder. Saying ‘I love you too’ didn’t feel like enough, so she opted for shoving her tongue down his throat. That always felt better and conveyed even more.

Whatever sex magic Oliver had could make him more attractive, a sex god, the perfect lover… but it couldn’t make her love the man himself, the essence of what he was. These feelings were genuine, and she had to make sure Oliver knew it.

It made her happy to hear him validate her feelings on her social media presence, too, but… There was a time when Mila did do it for the approval of strangers. In a time where Grace and Sarah, two of her best friends were having boyfriends and learning about things she also wanted to know, she turned to social media. People told her she looked beautiful, that she was sexy, that her choice of clothes was perfect. It felt… good. It felt like she wasn’t fully lagging behind her friends. Then she met Oliver, and with time those comments began to mean something different without her even realizing it.

“Hey…” Mila said, gasping as she pulled away from Oliver’s lips.

“W-What…?” he asked, a little stunned himself. Always great to have that effect on him.

“Can I tell you something a little fucked up?”

“Ah?” Oliver raised an eyebrow. “I mean, sure.”

Mila smirked and bit her lip. “I think I get why I like the attention now.” She leaned down again and kissed her boyfriend’s chin. “I want people to see how pretty I am, to see I’m sexy, to fantasize about me… All knowing they have no chance. I’m taken. I got myself the greatest boyfriend, and none of those guys will ever be half the man you are.”

Oliver’s jaw dropped. She didn’t blame him. It was kinda fucked up. It was a cruel way to look at it, and Mila was starting to regret saying it out loud. But then Oliver began to laugh.

“Holy shit. I didn’t know you had a sadistic side,” he told her.

Mila felt her face burn, but she giggled along with Oliver. “Is it? It’s not hurting anybody, right? It’s not like I’m going to tell that to their faces.”

“You’re not allowed to hang out with Grace anymore. She’s a bad influence.”

Mila snickered. “Too late for that, don’t you think?”

They laughed together again. And GOD did it feel good. Again, Oliver proved how perfect he was for her by instantly accepting this odd new side of her. Still, she wanted to ask.

“So… You don’t think it’s fucked up?”

Oliver smirked. “A little, yeah. But I'd rather see it your way. I think it even turns me on a bit.”

Mila grinned. “Oh?”

“People get to see only glimpses of you, they’ll fantasize… but only I get you have you.”

Mila’s heart skipped a beat and her crotch began to heat up. “Oh yesss!” She kissed him again, hard and deep. “Only you, Oliver. I’m yours and yours alone.”

Fuck, giving herself to him was such a rush. It had been that way for a while, but something about this felt like a new level, a new step forward in their relationship.

New steps… Mila wanted to take so many more. Their relationship couldn’t stop here. It couldn’t. The others couldn’t go away. They needed to stay together. 

Would they survive a long-distance relationship? Maybe, but those would be the hardest years of their lives. No, they had to look for a way to solve this.

Was it naive to think like that? Idealistic? Were they wrong in believing their group had a future together? That this was more than just a high school thing?

Mila could see it. They didn’t need some dumb paper telling them they were married. They could make their life together, grow, pursue their dreams, raise children. Mila looked forward to days of making a grocery list together, to afternoons of looking at and cutting expenses, to constant nights of a full dinner table.

It wasn’t their fate to be pulled apart. It wasn’t. They could do something about it. She believed it with all her heart. Her mind, however, drew a blank.

Sarah and her were, in a way, the ones with the most freedom. Their families would support them no matter what they chose, would let them pick their schools or career paths and be there to back them up. Oliver was in a similar situation, but his family had less money to support him on the same level, not to mention he had a dream he wanted to pursue. Then there were Grace, Alice and Noelle. Those three were at the mercy of their parents, given freedom to do what they wanted so long as they did as told WHEN told. Was there any way they could go against that? Any way to free them from their families sole path?

Mila pulled away from Oliver and looked down at him, swallowing the mix of their saliva. “Oliver… Is there no way for us to live together?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Mila cursed herself for saying that the moment the words left her mouth. She felt the pain in Oliver’s chest, her own worries mirrored in him. Of course he was also looking for an answer. Her question WAS naive and idealistic. They didn’t have the resources of something as reckless as that.

But then Oliver frowned. Not in pain, but in thought. Her boyfriend had an idea, if a vague one. Not one he could talk about yet but he saw the silhouette of a path, and that was enough to fill Mila’s heart with hope.