[Spirit of Lust 2] Chapters 424 & 425. (Patreon)

Chapter 424: Career counseling. 

The career counselor was Mr. Ortiz, my homeroom teacher. It wasn’t the first time we had to talk to him about career choices to get guidance, and since I was mostly decided on what I wanted to do for a couple years now, he knew already.

“Mr. Brooks, are you still set on pursuing a career in music?” the old teacher asked me.

I nodded, sitting across from him in his office. “Yes.”

Mr. Ortiz sighed. “Very well, but what is your plan for the future? What is it that you want to do that is related to music?”

“...”

“I watched you perform in the talent show, of course, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was glad to see you perform at all, but the music teacher praised your technical skills. It’s clear that you have talent and have put in the work to become as good as you are. Where can you put those skills to use, however? What can you do with your skills that will let you earn your livelihood? Have you thought about that?”

One idea crossed my mind, at least. The channel we had with Isabelle could be one thing, but that was a big maybe. To get to the point where we could live off of it we’d have to become huge, and the internet was already full of other, better creators.

“I know I want to create music,” I told him, looking at his desk more than at him. I felt somewhat ashamed that, at this point in the year, I still didn’t have a plan for my close future.

I expected some objections, some criticism… but no.

“Hmm. Good, you HAVE given it some thought. I know you said you wanted to focus on performance, but you’d be looking at a degree in musical theory in this case. Finding a job as a songwriter, composer or music producer would take work, but it wouldn’t be much different than any other one with specialized skills. Let’s see… If I remember correctly, good universities that excel in music theory would be…”

Mr. Ortiz began to browse through the files he had in his laptop, giving me three recommendations for school, even. A small smile crossed my lips. I could appreciate he was genuinely trying to help me instead of telling me that pursuing a career in music was a waste of time. Still… None of the schools he mentioned were particularly close to town.

“How is… Hyogen University in music theory?” I asked him.

“Our own university, huh? They offer the courses, yes, but their focus lies in the sciences, like biology, chemistry and such. Much like here in our high school, the arts are not our forte.”

I nodded and tried to suppress a grimace, but Mr. Ortiz noticed. “Is there a particular reason you need to stay close to the city? Is moving away or daily commuting an issue?”

“Ah, w-well… Not exactly. It’s…” I let out a deep sigh. “There are people I want to stay close to. It doesn’t have to be here. Anywhere is fine. I just… can’t leave them.”

Mr. Ortiz smiled kindly at me. A smile far kinder than the words that left his mouth. “Relationships come and go, Mr. Brooks. I’m sure you believe this to be the most important thing in your life, but…”

I felt my face stiffen as I looked Mr. Ortiz in the eyes. When I saw him go white as a sheet and stop mid-sentence, I knew I was glaring daggers at him that could’ve pierced his throat.

“My apologies. I overstepped my boundaries.”

Yeah, he did. Still, not like I didn’t get where he was coming from. Even from the sidelines, in my years of utter silence in this school, I saw plenty of couples openly professing their love for each other only to break up in a month or two, unable to look at the other with anything but loathing.

Despite how well my relationship with the girls was going, even taking into account the connection between us, even if we wanted this to last forever… We couldn’t guarantee it would be. Plenty of foreign elements could get in our way, and now distance and diverging paths were our biggest threats.

“Thank you for your guidance, sir,” I said, standing up from the chair.

“Y-Yes, of course. Could you tell Mr. Lopez to come in next, please?”

I nodded and walked out of the office, telling my classmate to head in next.

I went to the club room alone during lunch. The girls didn’t come. I think they didn’t even meet amongst themselves, and I also didn’t meet with Thomas or any of the guys. We all needed time alone. Seeing each other’s faces might mess with our thoughts.

In my case, though, it didn’t matter much. The more I thought about it… the more I became convinced that I’d be able to give up university studies if it meant staying with them somehow. I could pursue music anywhere, even if I had to work in something unrelated. I would climb my way up as a waiter if I had to, working at the fanciest restaurants in the city. I’d never give up on music, so it didn’t have to be my job. Problem was I would never ask the girls to do the same. Their studies were too important to their families, and I couldn’t ask them to leave everything behind to run away with me or something reckless like that. 

What should I do? We’d have to make a decision eventually, sooner than we wanted. We’d have to talk about it before making said decisions, too, and that was not going to be easy or pretty.

My stomach hurt the more I thought about us being separated. As an anxious person, being scared of possible futures was a daily thing, but this… It was one of the few times in my life I’ve been absolutely terrified.

************

Chapter 425: After work.

Possibly because it was at the forefront of my mind, I noticed that the girls and I weren’t the only ones worrying about the future. Less people from my school came to the coffee shop that afternoon, and the ones that did were also talking about the things they’d do for university, or if they were going there at all.

“Is it just me or is the atmosphere really bleak today?” Maria asked me behind the counter.

“We had career counseling,” I told her with a wry smile. “I thought it was just my group, but it seems everyone’s on edge.”

“Ah. I see. That time of the year is coming.”

“Has Thomas told you what he plans to do?”

Maria nodded. “He has an offer for a scholarship at Hyogen University. They want him on their basketball team.”

“I bet they do, but… Our university isn’t exactly a powerhouse at basketball, if I remember correctly.” Thomas himself told me that. “So why is he going there?”

Maria blushed and pursed her lips. “He says it’s because he wants to try and MAKE them a good team, but… I think he wants to stay in town more than anything else.”

I smiled. “I bet you’re right. You got lucky with him. Treat him well, you hear?”

Maria giggled. “I promise.”

So Thomas had it figured out already. Didn’t surprise me. His goals weren’t academic, but athletic. He was picking a challenge instead of going to a strong school to continue playing, all so he could stay close to his girlfriend. I could respect it, and I admit I felt envy at how easy the decision must have been for him.

The hours went by and we began to close up shop. It was a slow day when I could’ve used the distractions. Instead I only had more time to overthink. I said goodbye to Maria and stepped out of the shop before her. Then…

“Oliver.”

I flinched, started. I looked behind me and saw Mila standing there, to the side of the door. She was dressed in casual clothes, a blue jacket and jeans. Her face… she looked sullen, restless.

“Mila? What… Wait, how long have you been waiting there?” I asked her as I approached.

“...About an hour,” she admitted.

“What? Why did you go in?” I was getting worried. I stepped closer to her and moved aside some hair that was in front of her face. 

Mila leaned into my hand, then hid her face on my shoulder while wrapping her arms around my waist.

“You were working. I didn’t want to interrupt.” She… didn’t sound too bad, at least. Upset, but not sad or angry. Still, she was botting something up.

I hugged her back and kissed her forehead. “You okay?”

She nodded.

“Want to talk?”

She nodded again.

I kissed the top of her head. “Want to come to my house?”

She nodded again. “Can you drive?”

“Okay.”

I held her hand as we walked and didn’t let go until we had to get in her car. We were quiet on the way to my house, with Mila looking out the window as the light of the day left us.

I parked outside and we went into the house together. Just like every single time, Cake ran from the second floor to greet me at the entrance, only this time it was different. She saw Mila there, and for a moment I worried she would hiss at her. Instead, Cake ignored me and began to rub against Mila’s legs. We were both surprised, even more so when Cake rose and put her front paws on Mila’s leg.

“Pick her up,” I told her.

Mila giggled with a bright smile and picked Cake up. The cat then began to rub her head on Mila’s cheek.

“Mom?” I called. Mom answered from the kitchen, so we went to greet her.

“Oh, Mila. Welcome,” mom said.

“Hello, ma’am. Sorry to intrude.” 

Mom was serving a plate of food for me. “Please, you’re always welcomed. Have you eaten? Isabelle cooked today. It’s good.”

“Thank you, but I already had dinner at home.”

“I’ll eat later,” I told mom. “Mila and I are going to talk in my room.”

Mom looked at Mila’s face, saw Cake in her arms and seemed to understand my girlfriend wasn’t in the best of moods. “Okay. Tell me if you need anything, okay?”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

We went up to my room, passing by Isabelle’s. The door was open and it was empty. I heard the shower in the bathroom, though. She’d just gotten in.

I closed the door and we sat together on my bed, Mila with Cake on her lap and her head on my shoulder. I put my hand over hers and kissed the top of her head again.

“Did something happen?” I asked her.

“Nothing… new. I had a talk with my parents at dinner. They… got mad at me.”

I grimaced and pictured Mila’s dad angry. An image to chill the bones. “Why?”

“Because… I still don’t know what I want to do after high school.”

“But none of us do,” I told her.

Mila shook her head and spoke with faint cracking in her voice. “No, you all do. At least, you all have something you want and something you have to do. Grace, Alice and Noelle are burdened with their families expectations. They have it way worse than me. I…” Mila swallowed. “My parents gave me freedom to choose whatever path I want, and I… Just don’t know what to do. I have no dream to pursue, no skills I excel at like you all.” Her lip quivered. “I have the freedom they would kill for and I’m wasting it because I’m so useless.”

So that was what had been eating her up. I did notice that she had been unusually quiet while we talked about this that morning. And yeah, no wonder. Mila, Sarah and I were lucky enough to have the support of our families. Grace, Alice and Noelle were being forced down a path they didn’t care about.

Mila began to cry. Quiet sobs and a few tears flowing down her cheeks. I pulled her into a hug and we stayed like that for a while, until she was ready to start again.